I have joined Tumblr and will probably be posting over there from now on, or at least for the near future. The url is http://motivatedslacker.tumblr.com/

Seemingly out of nowhere, I have become a dress junkie. This flies in the face of approximately 20 years of my fashion history (I'm not really sure what I wore for the first 5 or so years), in which dresses were often worn on Sundays but generally not donned at other times. In recent years, I have become a fan of skirts, especially in the summer, but I have usually paired them with t-shirts, so the overall look has still been rather casual. And now: dresses. I have purchased more in the past few months than I had in the past few years combined. And a few days I bought a maxi dress, which I have never done before. In a fairly bright blue, no less. And today I bought a dress with a PATTERN on it, which flies in the face of all my solid colored (with a few logo/picture tees) wardrobe. That one, though, is shades of grey/black, so it's safe in that manner. And I considered a dress that had a large floral pattern on it, even. Me. Flowers. Again, shades of grey (actually silver on grey), but still. Large flowers. Up until now, that has pretty much been right after ruffles on the list of things I do not even consider wearing. Ruffles, by the way, are still on the list. I can change and experiment only so much.

After admiring L'Wren Scott's designs and trying to dress a bit nicer, I've gone hunting for some cheap(er) vintage-inspired clothing (especially 1940's styles) to buy. Here are some possibilities I've come across so far:

Bettie Page "Parisian" Dress:



I am pretty sure I need this dress in my life. Short sleeves, nice neckline, and a longer skirt with interesting open-work design near the knee. It's nice but not so fancy that I'd feel weird about wearing it at my more casual workplace, especially with flats.

Many of the dresses I came across come in black (yay, but I need to break the mostly black habit) and bright red (pretty, but too bright for me to be comfortable in). I managed to find some in other colors, though, which pleases me.

Bettie Page "Ella" Pencil Dress:



No, I don't know what's going on with the model's expression. I guess she saw something shiny on the ceiling? Focus on the color. Blue! A very pretty blue, at that. I'm not one hundred percent sold on the twist detailing at the neckline, and the lack of real sleeves makes it feel more dressy to me - if I wore it to work, I'd probably toss on a cardigan. But the color and the length are lovely.

Bernie Dexter "Bad Girl" Wiggle Dress:



This is another one that needs to be in my closet ASAP. Navy blue, longer sleeves, very simple style. It's also available in black, of course, and turquoise, but I like the navy best.

Stop Staring "Baby Jane" Dress:



This one is pretty, but I don't think it's something I'd buy and wear. I'm not quite sure why.

Broad Minded Clothing "La Passion de Violette" Dress:



I like this one a bit more than the previous purple dress, but I'm still not sure about it. Maybe I'm just not brave enough to wear that much purple in an everyday context? (Thought I did wear a purple shirt and cardigan the other day.)

Heartbreaker Fashion "Super Spy" Dress:



This one is also available in black, but hey, let's be daring and go with a different neutral color! It's a bit shorter than the others, since it ends above the knee. Scandalous, I know. The only thing that gives me pause about this one is the neckline - it looks like it has a bit of a mock-turtleneck thing going on, and despite wearing lots of turtlenecks as a child, I am not always comfortable wearing them.

At this point, I think I may order the "Parisian" in black and the "Bad Girl" in navy. The other ones are nice, but I don't think I can justify buying too many more dresses at this point. We'll see.

While looking through slide shows during my sick days, I fell in love with L'Wren Scott's stuff. It's so lady-like and perfect. A dress will also set you back at least $1,000, though, so for now I can only admire from afar/online.

Below are some things from her Fall 2010 line:

This is the first one that caught my eye. It's a very simple dress, but the designs by the hem makes is special. The color combo isn't one I'd normally think of, but I think it works well.



I'm not 100% sure if this is a dress or a suit, though I think it's the latter. I love the slit up the front with the longer length of the skirt - it'll show just a bit of knee when you walk or cross your legs.



This one is so, so pretty - the color, the detailing, it's just all lovely.



I really want to see more of the skirt or dress that's under the cape, but the cape is pretty fabulous itself. Not practical for my life, of course, but then none of this is.



This is pretty much a smoking jacket done up as an evening gown, and I love it.



I think one of the reasons I'm so draw to L'Wren Scott's designs is the longer skirts. I've been trying to buy more dresses lately, but they're always so short. Part of this is because of the style, but some of it is also my height. Unfortunately, the end result is that I don't feel comfortable wearing the dresses (especially at work) unless I have leggings underneath them. That works fine for winter, but it's not going to be great in the summer. I want to be able to pick things up off the floor without fear, dammit! Anyway, apparently L'Wren is 6'4" (and dating Mick Jagger, but that's neither here nor there), so maybe she feels my tall-girl pain.

If, for some reason, I were a fabulously wealthy superhero like Batman, or perhaps more appropriately, a wealthy villain like Lex Luthor, I think I might dress myself solely in Gareth Pugh.

This one reads "dark introverted hero" to me, rather than villain, due to the cape:



This one is more sexy villainess:



This one would be kind of great if you could fly/float like Storm. Wouldn't the skirt look awesome trailing behind you in the breeze?



That said, skirts and dresses are not the best garb for fighting or committing crimes. So here's a pants option:



And finally, here's a dress/leggings sort of combo:



All outfits from the Gareth Pugh Ready-to-Wear Fall 2010 collection, all images from Style.com, etc, etc, blah blah blah.

When I was sick last week, I spent a lot of time lounging in bed. I had caught up on TV shows online, had slept enough, didn't feel like reading, and needed something to do. It was Fashion Week, so I went to Style.com and starting looking at all of the slide shows of the fashion shows.

I have liked fashion and clothes for some time. I liked playing dress up as a kid. At one point in middle school, I had dreams of becoming a designer, which got crushed when I realized I sucked at sewing. And in college I dabbled in costume design.

Despite all this, I don't actually dress all that well. Part of this is due to my job in the library. There isn't much of a dress code - jeans and a t-shirt are fine. Also, in some cases, nice clothes are problematic. Have you ever tried to get a book off the bottom shelf while wearing heels and a short skirt? It's hard to do gracefully.

Still, every so often, I decide that I'm going to dress nicer. Wear makeup, think about my outfits more, etc. These stints usually last a week or so before I fall back into my old routine. A new stint has started today, inspired by looking at the fashion shows and buying a pair of high heeled boots. We'll see how long it lasts.

Insight of the day: Well, of course I procrastinate when it comes to writing papers. Writing papers makes me really anxious, and I want to put off that feeling for as long as I possibly can.

There is, then, the question of whether I would feel so anxious about papers if I didn't procrastinate so damn much. But that's a hard habit to break and is irrelevant to the current paper at least.

I have been half-heartedly following the healthcare reform debate. It has not been half-hearted because I don't care that much -- I do -- but rather because, to be honest, I don't understand a lot of it, and what I do understand usually leads to me becoming very frustrated very quickly (i.e. the passage of the Stupak-Pitts Amendment).

I admit that I have not had to deal much with health insurance. Most of my life, I was covered by my parents' insurance. When that stopped, I was at college and had access to basic care at the health center and had to pay for my prescriptions out of pocket - pricey, but simple enough. Then I got a job and I'm covered through that. I had multiple options, but I just chose one based on... I'm not even sure what logic it was based on. It may have boiled down to multiple choice.

So yeah, I have little to no experience with this stuff, but whenever I do delve into it, it seems confusing and frustrating. Does my plan cover X? Figuring that out by looking at the company's website is far too difficult. Why did my prescription copay suddenly rise? Another half-hour spent online figuring it out. And that's just looking at a single plan, rather than comparing plans and trying to figure out what's the best, most cost-efficient, and appropriate option. I don't have to try to find insurance for myself, weigh the merits of going with or without it, etc.

I feel like I'm pretty smart, but the idea of having to deal with insurance companies and sorting out details terrifies and confuses me. I have to wonder how it got so damn complicated, how the system became this crazy behemoth. Then I start longing for a simpler solution, probably a single-payer type plan. Health care is important! It should be like education and roads and libraries and be available to everyone! Then I realize I'm a crazy idealistic type with socialist tendencies and should probably look into moving to Scandinavia or something. Or at least a country with a social democratic party. Or a viable liberal party that's actually, you know, left-of-center. And then I start getting bitter towards the Democratic party and just get sad.

On Monday I went back to the psychiatrist. The depression is pretty well under control with the new meds, which is great. Yay for no random crying or awful side effects!(Except for painful hangovers and really vivid dreams, but I can work around those.) On to a problem that I didn't really realize was a problem - anxiety.

I don't do very well in crowds, especially if I'm already tired or stressed. I shut down and withdraw or silently freak out and want to run away and hide. I worry about things and have a to-do list always running through the back of my mind. I grind my teeth. My boyfriend has noted that the only time I look relaxed is when I'm at home; apparently my demeanor there is markedly different.

So I brought this up with the doctor. He's upping my dose of Paxil, since it's good for anxiety as well as depression. In the meantime, he's also given me an anti-anxiety med that I can take as needed.

I took one this morning. It is amazing. Before taking it - stressed about being late to work, mind racing, etc. After? Calmer. My mind and heart slowed down a bit. I sat on the subway and almost enjoyed the ride, got to work and have handled the day well so far - even the latest list of Polanski supporters. (Harrison Ford and Natalie Portman? Really?)

So, at least as a temporary solution, this stuff is great. It may not be viable in the long term, but hopefully the Paxil will kick in and take care of it from there. We'll see.