I'm going to bed soon. This will be the earliest I've gone to bed in quite some time... Am I going to bed because I have nothing else to do? Definately not. I have plenty to do. Too much to do. Gah. And I also have a headache. Blech.

I feel incredibly behind right now. It's not bad enough to be super-stressed about, but I do feel kind of guilty. I've let myself get distracted too much lately. That's bad... Starting tomorrow, less distractions. This means I'll probably end up spending a decent amount of time sitting in some secluded corner of McCabe... But if that's what it takes for me to work more efficiently, then so be it.

I managed to hurt my shoulder in aikido class tonight while doing a back roll. Yay for my complete lack of coordination, and then a nice "ow" for good measure. I ended up sitting out the last half or so of class with an ice pack on my shoulder. The irony is that by injuring myself I got out of getting injured by other people... The class learned this new technique today, this wrist twisting/tweaking sort of thing that apparently hurts quite a lot. So yeah... Not so sorry I missed out on that.

Other than my minor injury, today has been good. I got my history quiz back, and I did much better than I had expected. I also managed to ward off sleep after lunch for a good 4 hours, so I actually got some work done. Now I'm not as behind in my history reading. Woohoo.

I am, however, very behind in replying to emails. So I'm going to go make some progress on that...

The Guster concert was absolutely amazing... It was general admission, and Chase and I got reasonably close, so it was really great. I had a blast. Before the concert we went South Street... Had huge slices of yummy, greasy pizza from a little hole-in-the-wall place, then went to this bookstore that had a cat. The cat's name was Earl Grey, and it was very nice... I finally got my cat fix in, which made me rather giddy.

The concert ended around 11, but we didn't get back to Swat until almost 1... We just missed the last train back, so we had to take the subway and then the bus. But we got back... I finally went to sleep sometime around 3 or later... Woke up around 10:30, then went back to sleep, and just got out of bed again about half an hour ago. Yay.

I shall now spend the rest of the day working on my history paper, I believe.

So, the question of the moment is: what does it mean when you say “I love you”? What is love anyway?

Also, I’ve always maintained that there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. The question then arises… What is the difference between the two?

These thoughts and questions are swirling around in my mind as I ignore my own advice ("There's no need to second guess things... Let them stand as they are, let the memories be what they are") and try to put my finger on something that I just can’t quite figure out.

If anyone has any insights, ideas, thoughts, suggestions, etc that they’d like to share, that would be swell.

Going into Philadelphia later today... Going to go see Guster in concert, yay! Chase and I are going...

Which reminds me... Chase officially has the time slot after me on WSRN. I will be on from 2 to 3 am, and then Chase will rule the airwaves from 3 to 4 am. This is cool, because it means Chase will hang out with me during my show (and laugh when I sing at the top of my lungs, and call me an "emo girl" for my choices in music), and it also means that I don't have to fetch the key before going up to Parrish, nor do I have to lock up... This saves me time, which means I may get a little more sleep than I would otherwise. La!

I watched the BBC miniseries of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere last night... The series actually came before the book. The plot is exactly the same, but the book is much better... The book feels a bit darker, and Gaiman's descriptions outdo anything that BBC could ever hope to create in the real world. Still, it was a fun 3 hours.

It's an odd, and somewhat bad, feeling when you begin to think that something someone said -- something you disagreed with, something you shook your head at and denied as you claimed your feelings were truer than that -- may actually be true. It's a shock to your system... Like fighting a disease that you know is probably stronger than you, but not wanting to just give up and admit defeat. *sigh*

It's almost noon now... I must go and be productive.

Radio show last night went rather well, I think... No major problems... And I know at least Marci, Jonathan, and Claudia caught bits and pieces of it. So I feel loved, yay! If you didn't listen (tsk tsk), here's what you missed (* indicates a song from a playlist CD):

Taking Back Sunday: Cute Without the E
*Belle and Sebastian: I’m a Cuckoo
Dashboard Confessional: So Beautiful
Radiohead: 2+2=5
*The New Pornographers: The Laws Have Changed
The Ataris: My Reply
Tori Amos: Winter
*Mojave 3: Starlight No. 1
Jeff Buckley: Eternal Life
*Pixies: Here Comes Your Man
Jimmy Eat World: Get it Faster
*Granddaddy: Now it’s On
Poe: Could’ve Gone Mad
Weezer: Only in Dreams

If those songs sound appealing to you, listen to my show. That's an order, dammit! (Actually, it's just a forceful request... But still...)

It's nice to get things out in the open and talk about stuff... Even if it's a rather awkward process. And it's been dealt with now, so we can all go on with our lives. Or that's the theory, anyway. We shall see if it actually happens...

Didn't end up watching the movie... Hung out with people in the hall and ate cake instead. Yummy chocolate birthday cake for Aatish's 18th birthday. We sat in his room for a good 20 minutes, waiting for him to come back from campus... It was worth it, though... We freaked him out a bit, and then it was all fun and games after that. It was a sheet cake that his parents ordered from dining services... A really big sheet cake. Aatish kept on forcing more pieces on people until they absolutely had to refuse for fear of being sick. Half the dorm wandered in and got some as well... And there's still some left. Breakfast, anyone?

I finished my English paper on St. Augustine's Confessions. Woohoo. Now on to the rest of my work... If I get enough done by 9:30, I'm going to reward myself by watching Kiki's Delivery Service... Yay for random movies being shown in the ML lounge. It's great fun.

I don't have to be patient anymore... That, among other things, is making me rather happy at the moment.

I got this from Mama Cat's Livejournal... It made me laugh...

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three
finalists...two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the
circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a
chair. Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife
and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man
came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go
home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the instruction to kill
her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there
stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded
with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women take things seriously. Don't mess with them.

I'm addicted to all of Dashboard Confessional's latest CD, A Mark, a Mission, a Brand, a Scar... But I'm super-addicted to tracks 3, 10, and 11... "As Lovers Go," "So Beautiful," and "Hey Girl," respectively. This means that it's time to post some lyrics...

She said, "I've got to be honest, you're wasting your time if you're fishin' around here."
And I said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not foolin'... This feelin' is real."
She said, "You've gotta be crazy! What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?"

"No, you've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion,
But I swear that you've got me all wrong."
I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours my dear,
I'll belong to you if you just let me through.

This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating.
This is wonderful as loving goes.
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?

I said, "I've got to be honest, I've been waiting for you all my life."
For so long I thought I was asylum bound, but just seeing you makes me think twice.
And being with you here makes me sane. I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side.

"You've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion,
But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?"
I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours my dear,
I'll belong to you if you just let me through.

This is easy as lovers go. So don't complicate it by hesitating.
This is wonderful as loving goes.
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?

-- "As Lovers Go" by Dashboard Confessional

While things are not ideal, a manageable arrangement has been reached. And yeah... It's really rather nice. Okay, it's very nice. I'm very happy. Right now it's sort of a semantics issue... And I think I can deal with that. I have to deal with that.

This is all reinforcing the fact that I am not a patient person. Not at all. Gah...

"There's no need to second guess things... Let them stand as they are, let the memories be what they are, and let this friendship be what it will be."

Talking over IM just now has made me really think about the friends I've made here at Swat so far... In some ways it reminds me a lot of WFC. I can't really imagine what it would be like to not have Claudia to talk to. And now it's hard to imagine daily life without Marci, Chase, Matt, Nell, all of ML 1st, and so on...

Why am I still awake? I was tired before, but now I'm not really... Just a bit weary. Though I need sleep... I have a lot of work to do... But these converstations I'm having are very interesting. So I shall stay awake even longer, and suffer for it later on. Such is life.

Well. That didn't go exactly as I had planned. Then again, I hadn't planned anything, really. Anyway, I just had a very awkward conversation. I feel sort of bad, but at least I know I did it as nicely as possible. It had to be done, and now I can go on with my life.

Went to Philadelphia... Wandered through the art museum, visited the Rodin museum as well... It was fun, but I was a bit preoccupied, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I perhaps would have. However, the issue that was worrying me has been resolved as much as it can at the moment. Now I just have to be patient. *twiddles thumbs for a week or two* Too bad I'm horrible at being patient.

I just saw the best music video ever. Someone took footage from Cowboy Bebop and put it to Weezer's "Only in Dreams"... Oh my god. It was insanely well done and amazing. Wow.

Went to a concert tonight... The opening band wasn't that great, but the other 2 acts (Rebecca Gates and Ted Leo) were both really good.

I'm going into Philadelphia tomorrow... Woohoo. Going to check out the Rodin Museum, hopefully... Not sure what else I'll end up doing. It should be fun though. And it delays the starting of the massive pile of work that I should be doing. That's probably not a good thing, but it'll all turn out okay. That's what I'm going to keep telling myself anyway.

I should go sleep now.

Oh man. My radio show can only improve... Last night was a slew of technical difficulties. CD 2 was down and CD 1 was highly tempermental. That left me with the auxillary CD player, which is really just a boombox plugged into the sound board. So there was wonderful lag time between almost every song. And there were some issues with getting the program log pulled up on the computer as well... Finally, it seemed that everything was cooperating around 2:30. I was about to take out the Guster CD and stick something else in, when all of the sudden... Complete darkness. Yeah. The power went out. I just started laughing, because the whole thing was so abusrd. Luckily I had a flashlight with me, so I managed to close up the station and lock up, returned the key to the security place, and wandered back to my dorm to get about 4 hours of sleep.

On the plus side, that was really all Isabel did... We didn't even have very much rain. Just some wind that knocked down some tree limbs and such. Woohoo.

The coffee I drank this morning helped me make it through my history class without too much trouble... But it wore off by the time I got to philosophy. So that was interesting today... It was even harder to follow then usual. Eventually I gave up trying, and just sort of sat there. At least I didn't fall asleep... No, I managed to wait until after lunch to take my nap. And now I'm much more awake and ready to do something. Don't know what that something is, though...