I leave at 8 am... I still haven't packed. Gah. As soon as I'm done with email, I'll pack as quickly as I can and then scurry off to bed.

I'm going to be dead tomorrow -- I've gotten used to 8+ hours of sleep. Hmm. At least I made a damn cool t-shirt, hung out with some friends, and ran into my psych teacher at Wal-mart. Much fun.

Okay. Time to focus.

Just got back from Jenelle's visitation. It was open casket... But both she and Amy had these cloth mask-like things, probably because of the damage done by the accident. I don't know... It was very weird. I was fine until we got into the room (after waiting in a very long line; the family had many supportive friends)... And then I caught a glimpse of her face from across the room. Then I started to cry.

The worst thing is that it hardly even looked like her. It wasn't just the face; it was the clothes. She was dressed in this cream jacket and a dark shirt, her hair was curled. Okay, I didn't actually expect her to be buried in her vinyl prom dress or her fishnets and Emily Strange t-shirt. But this just looked so... weird. I don't know. I think I might have cried even more if she had looked like I picture her in my mind. As it was, I was in sorry shape -- her parents told me that it would be okay... It should've been the other way around...

Even though I hadn't seen her much in the recent months, I will miss her. She was a great person; she always did what she wanted, stereotypes be damned... I respected and loved her for that.

Goodbye, Jenelle.

Skimmed JC's Livejournal, came across this quiz...


Which John Cusack Are You?

Good movie... John Cusack is awesome.

I leave for Colorado tomorrow. I haven't even started thinking about what I'm going to pack. Oops. I should probably work on that...

It seems that I will soon have a bunny with one and a half ears. We thought that he had an ear infection, so we took him to the vet. They gave us meds, and he seems to be acting mostly normal again... However, his ear is blackish, as opposed to the pleasant pink color. So, back to the vet Chip goes. Seems he got bit in the ear by a nasty spider... And the posion is going to kill about half his ear. Luckily, we caught it in time... So part of the ear will die, but Chip will live. Still... Poor bunny.

It's spider-hunting time now. Prepare for your doom, vemonous arachnids!

From today's newspaper:

"Two sisters from Quincy and their grandmother from Gibson City were killed in a car-semi truck accident Tuesday afternoon east of Bloomington. Killed were Jenelle M. Stocker, 19..."

The last time I saw Jenelle was a few months ago, and I just had a chance to say hello... She was a really cool person: fun, unique, nice, friendly. And her little sister was only 9, and a really sweet kid. I can't believe this. I've read the article about three times, and it's not really sinking in yet...

Jenelle's gone forever.

I'm home. Whee.

There's a small sting, but life goes on. I know where I stand now, and I also know this: what they percieve is not the truth. But does it really matter anymore? I don't think so. Nothing that I can say or do will change the situation, their faulty perception, their version of reality.

Now it is time to turn my back on the situation, walk away from the mess, remember what matters, and get on with my life.

Last night in St. Paul... Great fun: dinner with the girls, watched Hedwig and the Angry Inch (great music)... And of course, earlier in the afternoon I got my tattoo. It did hurt. I won't lie. But it didn't hurt as bad as a feared, and now I just have this sort of dull pain on my lower back. Really, I think the worst part about getting it was the noise that the machine made (metallic whirrs of doom!) and the worst part now is the annoyance of the bandage that doesn't want to stay on. But it will come off tomorrow, to be replaced with the task of ointment every few hours for awhile. Such is life.

Anyways, it looks damn cool.

Small side note: Mama Cat... If you see this before you head for home, try and drop me an email (and check both your Hotmail and Yahoo account -- wait, reverse the order. Check email, then respond... Right.) I'd love to see you if we can work it out.

Off to the wonderful world of sleep now... Yay.

In Minnesota at the moment. Yay. It's great fun -- came up with a friend, staying with her sister and her three friends. One of them helped me finalize my tattoo design. Woohoo. It will become a reality either today or tomorrow. I keep flip-flopping between anxious and excited and nervous and such things. Eek, but also la!, because the design is so very cool.

Even cooler is that I found a quote that sort of explains why I chose to go with the celestial design. I hadn't been able to explain it before -- I've always liked the sky, especially the night sky. In Michigan, I saw the full moon reflecting off of the lake, and it was amazingly beautiful... And last night, I was reading Sylvia Plath, and I came across this: The sky's far dome is sane and clear. If there's one thing my life has lacked on and off throughout the years, it has been sanity and some clarity. The night sky is so serene and beautiful and natural -- something I would like to achieve in my own life, a point I would like to reach after sorting through the bouts of chaos and confusion. So. That's that. And the design is damn cool, as well. So it's all good.

Something fun and a bit more light-hearted before I go off to bed:


Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah. Email account is massively overloaded. Pictures ate up lots and lots of room... Away you go. Sorry, Minkle. Hopefully I haven't missed out on any other messages though... So if you emailed me in the past week or so and you don't get a reply... Email me again. Yeah.

Michigan was wonderful; the lake was gorgeous, the people were very nice, and I was completely relaxed by the time we left. The relaxation went right out the window, of course, as soon as we met up with my father and brother. Because obviously we can't all be in the same vicinity (let alone the same hotel room) without some sort of arguement occurring. Woohoo, fun stuff, god I hate family vacations. Despite that and the blisters on my feet, Chicago was fun. Sephora is like setting me loose in a candy shop, even if I don't wear a lot of makeup. Yummy.

*checks Sketti*

I am actually shaking with anger. Wow. I always thought that was just an expression. But it's really happening. I would say it's cool, except that the thing that provoked it is just downright disgusting, immature, and hateful. So yeah, it sucks. I am done with this, done with this whole stupid thing. I'm done with them. They're not friends, they never were, and they never will be. Even one of the people I thought was worth staying in touch with has just proven to be completely inconsiderate. I'm surprised, I'm disappointed, and I feel sick. Christ.

Assorted facts:

1) Playing pool by candlelight is difficult.
2) Those were the people that I will miss, the people that I have missed. They make me feel comfortable, they're fun and easy-going, and though they may be sarcastic and such, they never make you feel bad about yourself. Warm fuzzies towards them and those like them.

Must finish packing... This may be the last post until the 15th or later -- I don't know if I'll have Internet access in Michigan.

Quizzy goodness...


Your anime hair color is green.


What is your anime hair color?
brought to you by Quizilla


You're Spike Spiegel. Laid back and moody at
times. You think a lot about the past and wish
for closure. When there is work to be done,
you do it. You run strickly on instincts and
impulse.


!-Which Cowboy Bebop Character are you?-!
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah... Gotta love Spike. And Ed. And Ein. And everyone else... Gah. I finally finished watching it, and the last three episodes made me sad. *sniffle*

And now I must go deal with the lovely fun of packing and such.

Mama Cat, thank you for letting me vent. You rock.

This is an interesting new addition to Sketti... The Skettinet Character Library, with entries written by The Deceiver himself.

Motivated Slacker: A disconsolate but optimistic SkettiNet member. Jen is habitually lethargic and apathetic. Although abhorred by a disparate few, she continually posts her thoughts and feelings towards the many subjects conceived in the realm. Jen often employs her time to decipher symbolism and meaning in poetry, literature and paintings.

The other entries are pretty interesting -- check them out.

Mama Cat posted results from a Beliefnet quiz... So I went and took it. Fun fun.

Results from "What's your faith?"...

1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (98%)
3. Liberal Quakers (83%)
4. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (82%)
5. Nontheist (79%)
6. Neo-Pagan (65%)
7. Theravada Buddhism (62%)
8. Reform Judaism (48%)
9. New Age (46%)
10. Taoism (46%)
11. Bah?'? Faith (44%)
12. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (44%)
13. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (43%)
14. New Thought (37%)
15. Mahayana Buddhism (33%)
16. Scientology (32%)
17. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (31%)
18. Orthodox Quaker (31%)
19. Sikhism (31%)
20. Jehovah's Witness (21%)
21. Seventh Day Adventist (14%)
22. Eastern Orthodox (12%)
23. Islam (12%)
24. Jainism (12%)
25. Orthodox Judaism (12%)
26. Roman Catholic (12%)
27. Hinduism (8%)

I like the idea that liberal Quaker is number 3. I'm going to a liberal college that was founded by Quakers. Very fitting.

Once again, I woke up during/right after a dream... But for once it was a good one. I don't remember it now, but I definately didn't wake up in a confused, panicky state... Yay! Perhaps it was all that Solitare playing on the PDA that did it. Hmm.

More strange (slightly bad) dreams. This is really starting to get frustrating. I don't wake up feeling well-rested, even if I'm getting 8+ hours of sleep. I wake up confused and out of it, with a sort of dizzy, headachy feeling. I wish I knew why this was happening. I'd much rather go back to not remembering my dreams at this point. Gah.

Oh yeah. I won't be in town for most of the rest of July. I leave on the 9th, get back on the 12th and then I'll be gone on the 13th and 14th... Then I leave on the 16th and return on the 22nd. Finally, I go out of town on the 29th and get back on August 3rd. It's going to be a hectic month, I think.

In other words: Blogging will most likely be limited for quite some time.

The last few nights I've been having odd dreams... And when I wake up I actually remember them for a brief time, which is highly unusual for me. This is what I get for being well-rested for once in my life, I suppose. But some of them are rather disturbing... Last night's, for instance, featured a beauty pageant and me writing and drawing all over my arms and back. Strange.