Went to a Vertigo-go show (Swat's improv comedy group) last night... It was pretty good. For some reason the girls in the group are never as funny as the guys.

After Vertigo-go, I came back to ML and played some poker. My losing streak was ended, which was quite nice. Granted, I didn't win much, but I did at least win.

I need to do many things today: do some art, work on astro, study some psych, maybe start reading Paradise Lost, and email people. I really need to email some people. I feel very bad about that. At the beginning of this semester, I convinced myself that I would be very good about keeping up with my email. That has not happened. I'm a bad person.

I'm also a person who needs to go get some breakfast. So I'm going to go do that.

Apparently a sequel to Underworld is in the works. That means more awesome wardrodes to admire, hopefully. Cool.

And there's another Batman movie being made. I wouldn't really care, except Christian Bale will be Batman. And Liam Neeson is in it too. So I can't not see it, though I'll probably wait until it comes out on video.

Off to do work.

So I'm back to liking my English class again, which is good. And we're starting Paradise Lost for next week, which will be interesting, at least.

This weekend will be interesting as well. I need to do some studying for my abnormal psych midterm. I also need to work on art, astro, and English. I really need to email some people, and hopefully I can have some fun and get some sleep as well. We'll see.

I will now proceed to kill an hour in McCabe until dinner. Whee.

Dude! ML 1st and basement just got a celebrity endorsement for the scavenger hunt! And it's an endorsement from Adam of Guster! *does happy victory dance*

In other news... Not much. Another possible 5th for the Lodge, which is good. And my psych paper is done as well, which is also good. But I haven't started Milton yet, which is not good.

Tonight's radio show was okay... I had some technical difficulties (forgot to put a CD on, etc), since I was distracted by having a friend in the studio, but other than that it was fine.

Playlist:

Interpol: Obstacle 2
*The Shins: So Says I
Pavement: Cut Your Hair
Cat Power: American Flag
Poe: Another World
Schatzi: Death of the Alphabet
Pixies: Monkey Gone to Heaven
*Electrelane: On Parade
*Broken Social Scene: Almost Crimes
Weezer: The World Has Turned and Left Me Here
Cursive: Sierra
*The Wrens: Hopeless
Luna: Dizzy
*Beulah: A Man Like Me
Bright Eyes: Don’t Know When But a Day is Gonna Come
Jets to Brazil: Lemon Yellow Black

Not many playlist songs, but oh well. Still good music.

I am a weak, unfocused human being. Well, that's not entirely true. But I am letting myself get too distracted by my computer lately. I would go somewhere else, but I need my computer to type what I'm working on. And even offline it offers many distractions for a girl who doesn't want to finish a lab write-up and doesn't know what to write her psych essay about. Gah. Must focus more... Tomorrow. Now I sleep.

My website has been reborn! Well... Sort of. It has a new name, Languages of Apocalypse, which comes from The Sandman: Endless Nights... And the color scheme and fonts are different... Some of the info has been updated, the links page has been redone... But all in all, most of it is not new, and most of it is only semi-improved. Nonetheless, it is something. Whee.

Lodges actually looking like a real possibility... Even without an upper classman. Booyah!

I'm reading An Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jamison, for abnormal psychology. I'm about halfway through, and it's quite incredible. Jamison writes very well; the description in the book is wonderful. As a whole, the book reminds me a bit of The Bell Jar, only Jamison is manic-depressive and a doctor of psychiatry. If you have a chance to read it, I highly recommend it.

So I was checking out the links page at Friendly Hostility, and saw a link to a comic called Nice Hair. I decided to check it out... Two of the main characters are named Neil and Tim. When Jack Sparrow started living under Tim's bed as "payback for that scissor incident," something dawned on me. Tim is Tim Burton. And Neil is Neil Gaiman. And the other guy living with them? The singer of The Cure. So yes... This comic has quite possibly one of the oddest premises ever... And it's pretty good. So check it out.

The concert was good... I made it all the way through Elefant's set (which was pretty good), and through some of Broken Social Scene's set (which was really good)... But I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open, and I was almost falling asleep. When you're able to almost asleep in a small, crowded, warm room while your eardrums are practically ringing... Well, that's when you know it's time to go home. So... I went home. And slept. Yay.

ML talent show just wrapped up. There was a minimal amount of talent involved, but it was still fairly interesting. Not as interesting as the conversation in the hall right now, however. Remember the scavenger hunt? And the pretty impossible task of getting the massive globe from the library? Well, some of the guys on my hall think it's possible. The idea has been vetoed by the librarians, and even the people who put the list together. But... I think they're still going to go ahead and do it. *shakes head* I hope they don't get in trouble. Or better yet, I hope they decide not to try it.

Broken Social Scene concert in about an hour. Whee. I wish I was more awake... I was energized this afternoon, but now I'm dragging... But I still really want to go to the concert. So go I shall.

I've been scheming about housing for next year. I'm thinking of maybe the Lodges, but the only real chance to get them would probably require an upperclassman, since they have better numbers and will raise the average of me and the other 3 people... But the first choice said no, since he's pretty much guarenteed a single next year. And I think that's going to be true for everyone. Hmm. I don't know. We'll see what happens.

There is no hot water in my dorm right now. None. Not even a drop of lukewarm water. It's all ice cold. The possibility of a shower is daunting, but unavoidable. Therefore, I am about to set a new record for my fastest shower ever. Whee.

I think I may have to learn how to knit. I need to be able to do something with my hands or just do anything that will keep me awake while reading Milton. Today I folded my laundry, braided and unbraided and rebraided my hair, sat in various odd positions that prevented me from falling asleep, and tossed in a few pushups for good measure. And then, with 17 pages left, I ran out of things to do. So yeah, knitting may be my best option. Or taking the book to the gym, but it's really big and bulky, so it's a bit hard to handle on the exercise bike.

Off to read a few more pages and then sleep.

Geek humor. Hehe... Reminds me of problem solving class.

What Irrational Number Are You?

You are e Of all the irrational numbers, you are the most intense. By nature you are powerful, although sometimes you can spiral out of control. You are good with money; the interest seems to just compound whenever you are near. When someone uses the word "exponential" they are probably talking about you. In some ways you and φ are a nearly perfect match. Not to mention how attractive φ is. But then, there is the remarkable π... Your lucky number is approximately 2.71828183

Shiny Lemur Straif's Blog

Oh, the unfairness of it all. There's just too much to do this weekend.

Possibilities for Friday include watching Kill Bill (which I still haven't seen) at 7:30 or 10 pm, watching the ML talent show at 7 pm, and going to the Broken Social Scene concert at 10 pm. Saturday there's a couple of one act plays starting at 8 pm, as well as a concert/open mic night from 10-2. And sometime I'm probably going to try to play poker, since we didn't play last weekend. Also, Sunday is my 5 month anniversary with Matt.

And lest I forget, I really need to do work sometime this weekend as well...

I just bumped into a very nice dog on my way back from campus. Black, shaggy, very friendly... And perhaps a bit dumb. See, he was wandering around on the sidewalk all alone, so I decided to investigate. I crossed the street and he kinda looked at me, then sauntered out to the road. Unfortunately, a car was coming. Fortunately, the car slowed down, I whistled to the dog, and he came over. He immediately sat down and let me pet him... He had a collar, but no tags. So I didn't know what to do. I figured he was probably from one of the nearby houses, and hoped for the best. After urging him to stay out of the street, I continued my trek back to the dorm. He seemd to follow me, then stopped. I looked back and he had wandered into the road again. I walked back a bit, and he returned to the sidewalk quickly, as if he knew he had screwed up. So hopefully he's okay and will not get run over. Silly dog.

In other news, it looks like the dorm I wanted to live in next year, Mertz, is not going to have sophmore rooms next year. One of the other dorms is eliminating freshman rooms, so they're going to be moved to Mertz. Rar. So now I need to figure out a new 1st choice dwelling place.

I started reading An Unquiet Mind for abnormal psychology today. It's good so far; I really like the tone and style of the writing. Hopefully I'll get an interesting paper idea from it... I have to write a brief paper on bipolar disorder for next Thursday. Whee.

Off to do work and laundry now.

I very much want to sleep. I can't sleep. I have to do psych. Grr. Arg.

This week's radio show playlist:

*The Pleased: Never Come Home
Run Lola Run Soundtrack: Running One
Badly Drawn Boy: Everybody’s Stalking
*The Walkmen: Little House of Savages
*Stereolab: La Demeure
Emiliana Torrini: Tunafish
*Broken Social Scene: Lover’s Spit
Modest Mouse: Paper Thin Walls
*The Delgados: Falling and Landing
Tori Amos: Professional Widow (Remix)
*Her Space Holiday: My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend
*Camera Obscura: Lunar Sea
Ben Harper: Forever
Guster: Airport Song
*The Wrens: This Boy is Exhausted

Tonight was a pretty calming show music-wise, especially the first half. I managed to watch the IP numbers and time the Ben Harper song for my mom so that she actually got to hear it. So that was cool. And I officially became a fan of Her Space Holiday. They remind me of The Postal Service, which is always a good thing.

I'm becoming a bit of a web comic addict, I fear. I keep on finding new ones that are pretty cool. So the list of comics I check almost daily is growing rather rapidly... I only have links here for a handful of them. Eep. But they're all so good...

I am rather grumpy with the student art gallery. They had an art exhibit this past week. There was an opening last Tuesday that was fairly well advertised. I couldn't make it. So I looked the show up on the schedule of events and found the other times when the gallery would be open. I tried to go on Sunday. No one was there. I figured I'd try again tonight, since there was supposed to be a closing reception from 5:30-6:30. I got there around 6 pm. Again, no one in sight, door locked, lights off. Gah! I made an effort to support my fellow students, to check out the art of one of my friends, and I was thwarted. That ticks me off. *grumps*

My dorm is having a scavenger hunt, with the 4 halls competing against one another. This should be interesting. Some of the things are fairly easy... Personal ad for a hall member, for instance. Some are rather vauge, i.e. Victoria's Secret. And some are pretty tough, such as the giant globe located in the library. So yes, the next 2 weeks will be quite interesting.

It may be that the large beagle is actually a basset hound. I'm not really sure. I think I will continue to call him "Mr. Beagle" anyway.

Listened to the interview on WSRN. It was pretty interesting, though it turned out that the server couldn't actually handle 50+ people... It could handle maybe 25. So many people got kicked off, and I'm sure they were not happy about it.

Off to bed now.

There are currently more than 50 people listening to WSRN online. That is very, very impressive. I didn't even know that the server could handle that. Wow.

Grr-ness is being directed to the art gallery right now, which was supposed to be open at noon, but was not. I suppose I'll have to try again tomorrow.

I have an urge to organize. But I don't really have anything that I can organize, so the urge has to be ignored. It's too bad. My organizing sprees are such nice stress relievers.

Yesterday was pretty good. It wasn't your typical mushy Valentine's Day, but it was still really fun. We did go see Love Actually again, since it was being shown on campus. But after that we just hung out with some people, talking about various stuff and having a good time. All in all, it was rather nice.

I read the Milton that I was supposed to have done for Friday. I feel that the last 5 pages of it or so are completely unneccesary. I still need to read the critical essay, and then I'm going to start my reading for this Friday. Hopefully it will be slightly more coherent.

Not much else going on... I'm killing some time in the library until noon, and then I'm going over to the art gallery to check out a show. One of my friends has some stuff in it - ceramics, I think. Anyway, that should be fun, and then I'll go back to the dorm and get some work done.

I think the beagle recognizes me now. I saw him again yesterday... He was by the house, and I got his attention, and called him, and he came running up to me, all happy and affectionate. That dog is so cool.

Off to kill about 12 more minutes. Whee.

I'm listening to the techno-y remix of Tori Amos's "Professional Widow" on repeat... It's the perfect song to listen to while walking around in a pair of black leather boots and a skirt. And it's also somehow soothing and energizing to me right now, restoring my shaken ego.

My ego has been shaken by English class. For one, I was unprepared today. I had read the poetry, but due to my inability to stay awake much in the past few days, I had not read the prose piece. Combine the fact that I couldn't really follow anything that was being discussed for the first half of class with the fact that I was dead tired, and you get a Jen that really doesn't remember most of the first half of class. I was, however, awake enough to have my confidence in my possible major shaken up quite a bit. What I wrote about it in class:

"I feel over my head right now. The discussions going on around me seem so... I don't know... It's just so much. I feel simple, like I can't dig into these texts and get as much out of them as everyone else. I feel lost, and just overwhelmed.
I wonder if I can be an English major, if I can actually accomplish this. Maybe it's just Milton. Or maybe I just can't handle deep, heavy analysis. I feel like I don't understand and that I'm the only one who doesn't get it. I just want to read and write, to enjoy it and understand it... But not ot chop it all up into little bits and overanalyze it until nothing remains but academic jargon. I don't really want that, or at least I don't want to force it. I don't mind analyzing things, but I dislike this automatic, forced need to find something much deeper tht is going on in the piece.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this. But what else could I do? Psych? I keep on drifting off in class and while reading. Philosophy? Maybe, but that's analysis again. But at least that's analysis that I feel is purposeful, neccesary to understand. But isn't one philosopher in a family enough? So what is left? What should I do?"

I still like the idea of going into publishing. I like the idea of editing, of taking something someone has written and trying to help them improve it, clean it up. But lately I've just felt really overwhelmed by everything. I wonder what I'm capable of, and I can't really find a good answer. It worries me. At some point I need to make some sort of decision, to point myself in a direction.

On the plus side, however, I do have a box of Godiva chocolates in my bag, and that makes me happier.

So this is interesting. R.K. Milholland, the guy behind Something Positive, is apparently doing a radio interview on WSRN this Sunday. It'll be a phone interview on the talk show "Vestra Culpa," which airs at 11pm EST. So yeah, that's pretty nifty. I'm going to have to remember to listen.

So today has had some rather odd experiences.

First off, I had a really strange dream last night. It was actually a dream within a dream... But not one where I thought I had woken up, only to later find out I was still dreaming. In this case, the first dream turned out to be a movie that I was watching in my second dream. It doesn't make much sense in retrospect, since I was in the first dream, and therefore was watching a movie of myself in the second dream, but I didn't seem to know that it was me. That just seems weird.

I saw the beagle this morning and got to pet him on my way up to campus. That's not an odd experience, but it did make me happy.

And the most unusual experience was today at lunch. We were looking at various Japanese mangas that one of the guys had, many of which were pretty interesting. One was about the game Go... And it had pictures of these characters playing the game, and there were the little lines that imply intense action and movement when the people moved a piece. It just seemed a little much. There was also a very long horror manga that apparently focused on this one town and strange things involving spirals. One guy turned into a snail, other people used corkscrew/drill things as devices to drain people of blood... It was all rather freaky and graphic. And then there was the huge magazine of various anime strips. For the most part they were fairly normal, but there was one that seemed to focus on a murderous old lady who liked to wear bikinis. I don't know. It was odd.

There's a study break showing of This is Spinal Tap tonight that I'm going to try to go to. I have a feeling that it may add to the overall oddness of today, and therefore be a fitting end to the day.

2 of the guys on my hall and I are tentitively planning on being CAs for next year. We would get to be in charge of a group of freshman during their first week at college. It would be pretty cool, I think... I really liked my CAs, and it would be nice to get to school a bit early and settle in before the mad rush of people. So we'll see if this plan actually gets followed through with.

My hands and butt are still fairly numb after sitting outside, waiting for the sun to set. I enjoy astro, but the observations always involve going outside. While this is quite logical, at this time of year it also means getting quite cold. Brr.

I was, however, rewarded for my efforts. On my way back to the dorm, I passed the house of the cute, big beagle (not to be confused with the adorable, tiny beagle that I lives across and down the street some). And he was outside. So I crossed the street, and he ran up to me. Well, we met in the middle -- he has an electric fence, so he can only come so far. But he was very friendly, as usual. And insanely cute.

A few more days until Valentine's Day. Matt has something up his sleeve. He's dropped some not-so-subtle hints as to this with his grinning and obvious scheming. It's cute.

This week's playlist:

*Her Space Holiday: Tech Romance
Hellogoodbye: Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn
Pixies: Broken Face
Jude: Out of L.A.
*Camera Obscura: Suspended from Class
Tori Amos: Take to the Sky
*Beulah: Don’t Forget to Breathe
*Super Furry Animals: Venus and Serena
Soul Coughing: Circles
*The Pleased: Another Disaster
The Ataris: Angry Nerd Rock
The Get Up Kids: Martyr Me
*Ima Robot: Sine Your Life Away
The Hives: Statecontrol
Rx Bandits: Status
Jimmy Eat World: Your New Aesthetic
*The Quick Fix Kills: Pink Dreams and Cigarette Burns

If someone ever tells you a fountain pen is easy to fill with ink, don't believe them. Even if you get the "easy to use" cartridges, don't expect to get the job done without making at least a minor mess. Rar.

...But the pen does work nicely now.

I finally saw the calmest guy on our hall get angry. I really didn't know if it was possible. But apparently almost getting hit by a car that chose to ignore a stop sign does indeed piss him off. What we thought was the offending vehicle pulled into the ML parking lot, and Nikos set off to give the driver a piece of his mind. Unfortunately, his anger was misplaced - it was the wrong car. Luckily the driver took it well. Otherwise that could have become a nasty scene.

And now that I've seen Nikos mad, I really hope to never see it again.

So. I got my shadow grade for English today, and I should be getting my portfolio back in the next few days. I have to admit that I'm somewhat disappointed by my grade: a B+. I realize that it's not a bad grade, especially here. But I still wish that I had done better. I knew that I wasn't going to do amazingly well in history... But I had hoped for better in English.

*sigh* But life goes on.

On the plus side, I did get my report from philosophy. And while Raff still did not give me a grade equivalent, he did comment that I did "excellent work throughout" the course.

Drama sucks. Especially when it's drama that later feels completely unneccessary. But at least things are okay now. I just needed to have my regularly scheduled meltdown, that's all.

Saturday is Valentine's Day. And for once, I'm not dreading it. *looks around, drops voice to a whisper* I'm even sort of looking forward to it. It's very odd. I think part of it is that there won't be that whole rose delivery in class deal, the constant reminder that you are not wanted in that way. There is also the fact that this time I actually am wanted in that way. Whee!

On a semi-related note... Since Saturday is Valentine's Day, Friday is Friday the 13th. Lovely.

The concert is looking less iffy... Peter is probably going to go. Yay!

I played Clue last night, watched a bit of the Lion King, and then went bowling. Oh yes, I am a mature college student.

The Saves the Day concert is looking iffy right now. Colleen can't come, Lauren needs to save her money for other things, and Peter is unsure if he wants to go. Hmm. I may have to start looking for people again, or perhaps muster the will to go alone. Or resign myself to not going.

Rar. Fire alarm went off at about 3 am, and stayed on for a ridiculously long time. Something with the sprinkler system, I don't know... But I was outside, in the cold, in flip-flops and my pajamas. No coat or sweater or anything warm like that. Rar.

But today is Saturday, so that makes it somewhat better. Last time this happened it was a weeknight, and class was not fun the next day.

Another game of poker last night... Another night of losing. At least I didn't lose much... But I'm only up 95 cents for the year now. Which isn't cool, especially when I was up $13.90 only a few weekends ago. But life goes on, and at least Rob is benefiting from this... He's come out very ahead for the past two weeks. Yay for Rob, because he's a cool guy.

Just had a rather nostalgic lunch. Since I'm still not back to normal health-wise, I decided to take another day off from the gym. I went to Parrish to check my mail after class, and I bumped into the guy from my philosophy class that I used to eat lunch with all the time. We revived the tradition for today, and it was really nice. He's a cool guy, and catching up with him was fun.

Also fun: the cupcakes at lunch today, which were frosted by visiting 5th graders. 5th graders know how to use frosting. Yummy.

Other than that, the day is only so-so. It is very wet outside... Tons of rain, many massive puddles. The paths are little rivers, which would be neat if I didn't have to walk through the cold currents as I make my way uphill.

A quiz from Mama Cat before I deal with Milton...

I am an Intellectual



Which America Hating Minority Are You?

Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons



And now, off to read Milton.

It feels like someone has taken a rusty hachet to my head and is attempting to cut my brain in half. It's not working, but it is hurting like hell. I'm hot. I'm cold. I can't sleep, and I can't stop crying. My head is splitting, my body is aching, and nothing is helping. I have never had a headache this bad.

I feel very crappy. Headache, stomache not in great shape, and really scratchy throat. I'm skipping chorus tonight, finishing up my psych homework, and crawling into bed.

My first radio show of the semester is over... The playlist:

*Mando Diao: Paralyzed
Eels: Mental
Cursive: Art is Hard
*The Wrens: Ex-Girl Collection
The Shins: Caring is Creepy
*Broken Social Scene: Cause = Time
The Postal Service: Nothing Better
Ozma: Turtleneck Coverup
Ted Leo/Pharmacists: The High Party
*The Quick Fix Kills: Lipstick Rendezous
Elastica: Mad Dog God Dam
*Erase Errata: Matter No Medley
Hey Mercedes: Knowing When to Stop
The White Stripes: Girl You Have No Faith in Medicine
*The Pleased: Another Disaster
Nirvana: Lithium

As always, * = a song from WSRN's playlist.

I am a drowned rat. Well, I was. I'm dry now. But my Pumas are saturated, and my jeans are still dripping. Luckily my studio art portfolio is more water-resistant than it looks. Otherwise things could have gotten very messy. As it is, the campus as a whole is rather messy. Lots of melting-snow slush and big sea-like puddles everywhere, and then drab grey sky and ground broken up with sad looking trees and buildings. Early Febuary is not a pretty time here. But I don't think it's a pretty time anywhere.

My first radio show of the semester is tonight. I'm looking forward to it. And Claudia is promoting my show on her blog. That makes me feel very loved. Thank you!

I'm giving into the whole "find the meaning of your name" thing that Camden, Claudia, and Bun-Bun have done...

JENNIFER f English
Pronounced: JEN-i-fur
Cornish form of Gwenhwyfar (see GUINEVERE).

GUINEVERE f English, Welsh Mythology
Pronounced: GWIN-e-veer
Old French form of the Welsh name Gwenhwyfar, which is composed of the elements gwen meaning "fair, white" and hwyfar meaning "smooth". In Arthurian legend she is the beautiful wife of King Arthur. Her betrayal of her husband with Mordred prompted the battle of Camlann, which led to the deaths of both Mordred and Arthur. Later versions of the legends tell of her adulterous affair with Sir Lancelot.

CATHERINE f English, French
Pronounced: KATH-u-rin (English), KATH-rin (English), ka-TREEN (French)
English variant and French form of KATHERINE

KATHERINE f English
Pronounced: KATH-u-rin, KATH-rin
From the Greek name Aikaterine. The etymology is debated: it could derive from the earlier Greek name Hekaterine, which came from hekateros "each of the two"; it could derive from the name of the goddess HECATE; it could be related to Greek aikia "torture"; or it could be from a Coptic name meaning "my consecration of your name". The Romans falsely derived it from Greek katharos "pure" and changed their spelling from Katerina to Katharina to reflect this. The name belonged to a 4th-century saint and martyr from Alexandria who was tortured on the famous Catherine wheel. This name was also borne by two empresses of Russia, including Catherine the Great, and by three of Henry VIII's wives.

And Behind the Name only had first names, so I don't have anything for my last name. I think it's derived from the German word for "red," though.

But as it is, my first and middle name seem to imply that I'm a smooth, white girl who may have an affair that will either result in someone being tortured or consecrated. (Or perhaps consecrated while being tortured...) It also seems that there's a good chance I'm royalty (either Russian or English) and just don't know it.

I will now find something else to do to kill time until dinner and my radio show.

Feeling rather blah today. Not exactly sure why. I don't feel like doing anything at all... I read some psych, but was so tired that I needed to take a nap afterwards. I did my drawings for art before that (ah, the thrill of drawing boxes...), and that's been about the extent of my excitement for the day. Though there was that whole kicking the wall in my sleep thing in the wee hours of the morning. That hurt. My big toe is most displeased with me.

And yes, I do know this is one of the world's most boring posts. But I feel the need to do something, and nothing sounded worth doing.