I am tired. People are going to Pub Nite right about now, but I'm too tired to even attempt it. Anyways, I still have work to do. And I don't really like beer either.

So I am tired, but I am also incredibly proud. After dinner, I went to the costume shop. I had told people who are participating in the murder mystery dinner to stop by so we could find things. I found myself a skirt and blouse, and then I helped some of my friends find stuff too. The real pride, however, comes from the sewing. The skirt I have is black, with grey ruffles at the bottom, and white trim on the ruffles. The trim was coming off in places, and I fixed it. Also, the skirt has this nifty faux bustle effect due to folding parts of the skirt over and snapping it in place (no, I can't think of any better way to describe it). But doing that makes it too tight, so I added other snaps that create the effect while still allowing the skirt to fit. Problem solving AND sewing skills all at once. I feel accomplished.

And now to read library stuff.

Okay. So if my (very rough) math is correct... I've finished inputting data for 203 comic books. This is about 4 of the little boxes. I have 9 boxes left on the cart, and then 13 more on the shelves in the library. So that makes for 26 boxes in all. If I've done about 200, that means that's 4 boxes at 50 each. So 26 boxes with 50 comic books each... Is 1,300 comic books. Damn. That's a lot of comics.

It took me about 6 hours to get through 203 books, I think. That's about 34 books per hour. 1,300 divided by 34 is... About 38 hours or so. So yeah. This first part of the comic project (which is the bulk of the project, I think) will take me about 38 hours total. So... 32 hours left.

Off to do some reading, or maybe to nap in the sun.

The weather outside is gorgeous; I'm wearing flip-flops, a skirt, and a t-shirt, and I'm perfectly comfortable. And now I'm going to go work in the library to catalogue, etc. more comic books.

I'm so not going to get a tan this summer (again).

I am not so much the costume designer as much as I am... God, I don't even know what? Possibly costume coordinator, though even that may be too generous at the moment. No, I'm not bitter at all. *sulk*

Playlist!

* Belle & Sebastian - Dress Up in You
Wilco - Jesus, Etc.
*Matt Pond PA - Several Arrows Later
Yo La Tengo - Don’t Have to Be Sad
# Marianne Faithfull - City of Quartz
Death Cab for Cutie - Your Bruise
* Mates of State - Nature and the Wreck
Final Fantasy - That’s When the Audience Died
Low - Point of Disgust
Longwave - I Know It’s Coming Someday
Cat Power - We All Die
#* Scout Niblett - Handsome
Laura Veirs - Icebound Stream
* Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
* The Mountain Goats - Love Love Love
Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast for Thee
M. Ward - Poor Boy, Minor Key
Camera Obscura - Suspended From Class
Sufjan Stevens - The Tallest Man, The Broadest Shoulders (Part I: The Great Frontier; Part II: Come to Me Only With Playthings Now)
Pavement - Embassy Row
* Albumen - Raven Black
* The Joggers - Since You’re Already Up
* Ambulance Ltd - Straight A’s
The Decemberists - The Soldiering Life
Elliott Smith - 2:45 am
That Dog - Holidays
* B. Fleischmann - Gain
The Postal service - We Will Become Silhouttes
Enon - Drowning Appointments
* Built to Spill - Kicked it in the Sun

The fire alarm went off in the middle of my show, sometime during Low's "Point of Disgust." I think. I ignored it and muffled it with the headphones. I realize this was not a good thing to do, really, but 1) there is a fire escape right by the studio, 2) by the time I would have made it all the way down the stairs the alarm probably would have been turned off, 3) it is my duty to keep the music going, and 4) I assumed it was a false alarm, because that's usually the case. If I'm ever caught in a real fire, I'll probably die. Many a 3 am alarm has made me jaded, though being an RA has made me a bit more responsible again. But since I wasn't in my dorm, I did not feel the need to go into firefighting RA mode.

Work now, I suppose.

I am tired. Very, very tired. I was up until 3 am on Sunday night, but last night I went to bed pretty early - I think I got a full 8 hours of sleep. But I'm just feeling very run down. Worrying about classes for next semester, dealing with summer stuff, tons of work, and so forth. Last night was nice - I curled up with Orlando and read till I fell asleep. But sadly, most nights for the rest of the month (at least) won't be like that. I have to finally rewrite that English paper that was giving me so much trouble; I have to finish reading Orland and write a response paper to that; I have to start working on my final paper for Theory of the Novel; I have bunches of plays to read; I need to retackle my own play; I have to get costume design stuff done. Blarg.

And now, back to work...

A little sliver of my 15 minutes of fame: my library Staff Pick from the reference section.

The book is really interesting and made me rather late to dinner one night.

So the deans didn't okay having gender neutral 2-room doubles everywhere on campus. It makes me grumpy, and I have expressed my disappointment in an email to the Housing Coordinator (she did ask us to write her if we had any questions or concerns...). That's now the second time this semester I've questioned/expressed frustration with an administrative decision. Weird - when did I start to care so much about things like this?

Part of it, I'm sure, is a continuation of the ranting I've been doing throughout the day... This is especially the case in d'turgy class, where there was a minor moment of confrontation. I worried Mr. Magru - he was afraid it was something he had done that had upset me - but I assured him later that it was not, in fact, him. He's a good, amusing prof; my frustrations with various members of the class at various times are not his fault.

The real reason I care so much about the gender neutral housing issue, however, is probably Patrick. Things like this will effect him, and being friends with him has made me aware of these things. He could play softball now, but as soon as he starts testosterone, he can't. I honestly don't know what the administrative stance on housing in this case is. Gender neutral housing just makes life easier in this case and in other cases like it, I think. Similar personal reasons were involved in my talking to some deans about the RA selection process. Applicants from ML - ones I had recommended - got slighted, and I got upset. I know these people would be great RAs; I know that who's on the committee definitely effects the choices. People who aren't know by members of the committee aren't appointed. MLers aren't so known by the current average RA. Fellow sports people and Student Council people and what have you are. And the gap between ML and campus - which sadly does exist - gets a bit wider, I think.

Okay, enough rambling. Dinner now. Reading Orlando tonight. And really, sleep might be good as well...

*bangs head against desk repeatedly*

Okay, so earlier today I discovered that Performance Theory and Practice is 6 hours a week. I'll be taking this course next semester. I have to take this course to be a theater minor. Most courses are about 3 hours a week. So... 6. 6 hours, 1 credit. 6 hours with a man that really likes to talk. And I have no choice. Damn it. I was already thinking of not doing choir next semester, but this secures it.

Also- My grand scheme was to take Shakespeare and Survey I: Beowulf to Milton and finish out my pre-1830 credits. No. Survey I isn't being offered. So I need something else to take. My choices that fit into my schedule and fill the pre-1830 requirement: Food and Literature with Campos or The Lyric Poem in English with Schmidt. The course description for the class with Schmidt doesn't sound appealing to me - while it's not Modern American (or British) Poetry all over again, there is probably enough overlap to make me not want to deal with it. I'm kind of poetry-ed out at this point. But Food and Literature... Well, there's no course description to be found anywhere. So yeah, that's not good. But I hesitate to push off filling this requirement until Spring 2007 (when I could take English Drama before 1642, which is also not overly exciting, but...). The idea of an unfilled req (besides my culminating essay) during senior spring is nasty. I also want to try to finish out my creative writing emphasis, and there are more options open to me in the spring - Fiction Workshop, Poetry Workshop, some classes at Bryn Mawr (Screenwriting and Creative Nonfiction). But Food and Literature? What IS it, even?

This is, of course, what I'm supposed to use the shopping period for. But... I would just like to have things settled. Grr.

I need to figure out some other stuff (i.e. Do I have to take any more theater after Performance Theory and Practice? Is there any chance Lyric Encounters can be used as a pre-1830 class and make my life easier? What other requirements need to be filled? Is it too late to find a mad scientist and offer myself up as a test subject for his radical new human-to-cat transformation? Should I just hide out in the Crum Woods and become a hermit?)

And oh, I should figure out what I want to do with my future - which involves researching grad schools for library science and theater stuff, figuring out if I need to take the GRE, and all that fun stuff. *whimper* While that can be put off until this summer, it's still sort of looming over me. Bah!

Also, random note: why the hell didn't I use my Pass/Fail options?! I don't think I will get a chance to use them, since I can't do it for anything in my major or minor. I should have used one for CS, and then another for Philosophy of Religion or something. Yay hindsight. Boo average grades.

Okay. Time to read some Orlando and then have dinner with the ML RAs. Whee...

Sager was interesting. I had fun at times, and it was nice going with a large group of friends. But I've determined that Sager is not something to be attended sober. And I was, mostly. The drinks from hanging out and dressing wore off before we got there, and Olde Club (where other drinks were) was too much of a pain to get into. But mostly it was fun. But then waves of loneliness hit when we headed back to Mertz. Inexplicably, I can feel incredibly lonely even in the midst of large groups of people.

Bed now, or possibly a shower and then bed. There are many things I should get done tomorrow, but I think I'll treat myself by not setting my alarm and just sleeping. Yay sleep.

Being the organization freak that I am, I took all the info I had entered on the comics from the spreadsheet and put it into a database format. It has drop-down menus for genre and condition! I can sort by series title, and then volume number within that, and then issue number within that! It's so cool! (Yes, I am indeed a geek.)

Note: I am grumpy towards whoever did The Avengers comics. Okay people, why did you not pick a name and stick with it! Either The Avengers or The Mighty Avengers and either Avengers West Coast or West Coast Avengers would have been fine. But no, you had to have them all. And no, they are not actually different series as far as I can tell. Based on issue numbers and publication dates, I am inclined to assume that they are actually the same series and story line... And someone just decided to make it hell for anyone who tried to catalogue them in any organized fashion. Gov docs do this too, changing titles of serials and switching around numbering systems... It's very frustrating.

Wow. That... That was really geeky, wasn't it? And I also just went and changed some entries from "The Avengers" to "Avengers, The" so that it would sort all happily. I think I'm going to back away from my computer now and get some sleep...

I set out on a mission this evening. Well, sort of. I went to CVS to pick up some stuff. I got Rx (oh, insurance, how I miss you...), candy to (finally!) restock my stash, and some insanely bright red lipstick on sale (it's not so insane when applied, but it's kind of terrifying-looking in the tube).

What I did not get, and what I desperately need, is a tape measure. I have one for carpentry sorts of things, but I need a cloth one for sewing/costume purposes. There's one in my sewing kit, but it's only 2 feet long... And 24 inches is not overly useful when you're trying to take someone's measurements. I looked in CVS, I looked in the dollar store, but no. Nowhere can I find a tape measure. I think I may have to take the actor to the costume shop and take the measurements there - they have 2 measuring tapes there, but they won't loan them out since they're worried they won't come back.

Grr towards stores and their lack of tape measures!

I started my library/comic project today. I spent 3 hours looking at comics - 119 of them, in fact - and sorting them. I've set up a spreadsheet which contains the following information for every comic the library has: series name, issue name, volume number, issue number, date, condition, genre, publisher, and any notes I need to remember.

So far the three genres I've concocted are superhero, sci-fi, and other. Other will probably be broken down further at some point, but for now, it's a catchall category. Sci-fi got its own because of the number of Aliens books. Superheros are winning by quite a bit, however. There are especially a lot of Avengers, Alpha Flight (which I've never heard of), and Azrael (also a new one for me). I got through the As (or at least the As that were in the correct spot) and got a bit into the Bs. It is a formidable task... They don't look like much on the shelf, but you start going through them one by one and it gets a bit time consuming...

Off to dinner now, because my stomach is making funny noises at me.

16.5 pages of play oddness. And now I sleep.

Playlist:

M.I.A. - Bucky Done Gone
Fischerspooner - We Need A War
Sleater-Kinney - Combat Rock
The Dresden Dolls - Gravity
Criteria - Kiss the Wake
She Wants Revenge - Tear You Apart
Editors - Munich
Nine Black Alps - Cosmopolitan
The Subways - Rock and Roll Queen
* The Joggers - Neon Undercarriage
* Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor
The Wrens - Faster Gun
The Holy Ghost - Seein’ is Believin’
# The Washdown - Learning Makes You Handsome
# Shoplifting - Contrapuntal Prancing
The Kills - Fried My Little Brain
Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights
Bloc Party - Helicopter
Franz Ferdinand - 40’
The Rapture - Olio
* B. Fleischmann - First Times
* Mates of State - So Many Ways
* Built to Spill - Goin’ Against Your Mind
* Arab Strap - There is No Ending
* P:Ano - Foot Hills
Autolux - Angry Candy
TV on the Radio - Satellite
* Portugal. The Man - Elephants
* Belle & Sebastian - White Collar Boy

And I have about 16 pages of stuff for playwriting tomorrow, which I am now going through and making happy in regards to formatting and the like. Whee.

Still to do tonight: Meet up with people to see if their costumes fit, show someone the available rooms on my hall, and have an RA meeting. Oh, and sleep. That would be good too.

I'm now up to 11 pages of random weirdness. It's growing on me, though I have no idea how the class will react to it. *crosses fingers*

I have 5.5 pages of something really random and weird that I don't entirely hate. Yay?

More coffee if it's still there, then home for ToN reading and bed.

Okay, definitely been spending too much time in McCabe lately. I've got things down to a routine...

I enter McCabe to do work. If I have a lot of writing to do and need space to spread out papers, I choose (A). If I have reading or straight typing to do, I choose (B).

(A) I go to the 4th floor (3rd floor now, I guess?), the "back" of the building. I sit at the table by the doors to the central staircase. I work here until I am done, need a change of scenery, or run down my laptop's battery.

(B1) I go to the 3rd floor (er, 2nd), the nook at the "front" of the building by those stairs. I sit in the black leather chair.
(B2) If this seat is occupied, I go up a floor and sit in that blue chair.
If both of these are taken, I am sad and see if spot (A) is open or look for another comfy chair elsewhere.

No matter where I end up lately, it seems that my battery starts to run low. Sadly, there are no convenient outlets by (A), (B1), or (B2). Therefore, there is (C), where I am right now.

(C) Top floor, study carrel near the back of the building. By a window, but more importantly by a power outlet. Located by PR 115.W - 479.P6 I. I keep coming back to this one desk, though I'm not sure why. I'm a creature of habit, I guess. I have yet to deal with having this spot taken.

So now my computer is plugged in and happy. I am less happy, but I am wired in my own way, as I am reaping the benefits of free coffee from downstairs. Whee.

Back to my bland attempt at a play.

In an interesting turn of events, I am not crying for myself as much as I am crying for all of my friends. Everyone is stressed, upset, unhappy, and it's horrible to see. I want to do something for them, but it seems like I can't. And that's really sad.

I thought I had an idea for a play, but while it sort of worked in summary I have no idea how to actually write it. So yeah. I'm getting a tiny bit stressed over it.

Many props to Shydoubie for throwing a really great party tonight. Electronica is fun to dance to, but strobe lights make me feel at least twice as out of it as I really am. Still, very very fun. And on that note, I collapse in my bed.

Today was nice... The weather was pretty good, I had an interesting library class, there was a poetry reading, and I went to the reception (in a swanky house) afterwards. But now I'm going to be lame and probably read and then crash. I'm so, so tired... I went to bed at 4 am Tuesday, 2 am Wednesday, and then around 2:30 am last night. So I'm sleepy. Also, most people are off seeing V for Vendetta tonight - which I want to see, but I was already committed to working at the poetry reading.

Also, life in general is looking up, at least for me. Some of the awkwardness seems to have dissipated, which is quite good. But things are not all good in the lives of my friends, and that makes me sad.

Today has been much, much better. My ToN prof replied and was very understanding... We're going to meet tomorrow and try to sort things out. I got in touch with my costume design advisor for the play I'm working on, and we're going to meet tomorrow as well to look at research and all that. I have ensured myself at least partial employment this summer (at the library again, to supplement the internship I hope to have). My stomach seems to be cooperating.

Not everything is great, of course. I'm still worried/upset about various things. And I really, really need to write for playwriting. I need to write something substantial, too. And I have no real place to start. Grr.

The saga continues...

I was up until after 4 am trying to come up with a way to salvage my paper. I have yet to figure anything out. I am, as I told my prof in an email, "adrift in a sea of summary and explication without any thesis in sight." (Yeah, crisis can bring out the poet in me.)

My stomach is still uncertain about its relationship with food. I've eaten some things and kept them down, but I can't get rid of the sense that that might change any minute.

I have nothing done for playwriting, nor do I really have any ideas about what I could write.

I woke up this morning to discover that it was flurrying outside. It was 70 and sunny out on Monday, and now it's snowing. Even for March that's a bit freaky.

I feel like going back to bed and hiding under the covers for the rest of the day. I'm not really depressed about the situation, which is surprising but also nice... I just think that if I hide, nothing else can go wrong. At least, if something does go wrong, I won't know about it. Ignorance is bliss, and all that.

In an impressive display of how things can go from bad to worse, I have:

1) Decided that my paper is utter shit and should most likely be started over. Bits and pieces of it will be salvageable, I suppose, but I need to find myself a goddamn thesis and stick with it.

2) Determined that really, everything else is going to hell too, so why don't we just put just about everything under the heading of "failure" along with the paper.

3) Lost what little self-composure I had for the day and broke into tears during the walk home.

4) Had my body revolt, leading to me almost throwing up before my stomach realized there wasn't anything in it to get rid of. Yeah, I may have caught the stomach flu that's going around. I wouldn't be surprised.

5) Almost achieved an interesting state of numbness where I'm just so overwhelmed that I'm unable to do much of anything at all.

I mean, I knew today wasn't going to be great, but really, I was hoping for something a bit better than this.

So. Most of the "progress" I made on my paper today? Totally being undone as I attempt to make things coherent in hopes that I will eventually reach a point where things change from explaining the article into actually making a new point. I can practically feel my eyes glazing over and my brain shutting off...

I feel like I'm writing in circles, repeating myself and not actually moving forward with anything even slightly resembling an actual argument. I'm guessing that I'll be in the library until it closes at 1 am, and I'm worried that I won't actually be done with my work at that point. Eep.

Playlist!

Of Montreal - Good Morning, Mr. Edminton
The Delgados - All You Need is Hate
Super Furry Animals - Hermann Loves Pauline
Blur - London Loves
Built to Spill - Big Dipper
Spoon - I Turn My Camera On
* Arctic Monkeys - Perhaps Vampires Is a Bit Strong But...
Stars - Death to Death
* Arab Strap - If There’s No Hope For Us
* Jana Hunter - K
Yo La Tengo - Georgia vs. Yo La Tengo
The Decemberists - July, July!
* The Mountain Goats - Up the Wolves
* The Wolf Parade - I’ll Believe in Anything
Wilco - I’m the Man Who Loves You
Cat Power - I Don’t Blame You
Elliott Smith - The Enemy is You
Iron and Wine - Jezebel
* Neko Case - Star Witness
* Destroyer - Watercolours Into the Ocean
* Belle & Sebastian - Another Sunny Day
Architecture in Helsinki - Fumble
Beulah - Popular Mechanics for Lovers
The Magnetic Fields - When My Boy Walks Down the Street
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Let the Cool Goddess Rust Away
The Holy Ghost - Sarah Needed
The Deadly Snakes - There Goes Your Corpse Again
British Sea Power - It Ended on an Oily Stage
* Albumen - Silent Sunrise
* The Elected - Did Me Good

I am proud of tonight's moments of continuity: Wolf Parade after "Up in the Wolves" and The Magnetic Fields after "Popular Mechanics for Lovers" (which has a line that references The Magnetic Fields' album 69 Love Songs). Yay for being a dork.

As soon as my show is done, I'm off to McCabe to be productive. Boo to productivity.

It already feels like it's been ages since break, and it's only Tuesday. This is not good at all.

I spent most of Sunday doing stuff for d'turgy (rearranging the scenes in Woyzeck, writing up my play report on Lulu, answering my question about The Cherry Orchard, and reading 5th of July); when I finally finished all of that, I just collapsed. Then yesterday was spent in class for the most part... Bits of free time were spent making sure I had the argument of the article I'm writing about for ToN down pat. This was a very long involved process. In retrospect, perhaps I should have just launched into the paper itself, but I really do think this is the best way to do it... I just don't have the time for it. Anyway, that ate up a considerable amount of time. On the upside, the weather was gorgeous yesterday, so working on it outside in the warmth made it seem less painful. Around 9:15 or so I took a break and went running, since the weather was just so nice. My body was not overly happy with this plan - my knees are less than happy with me today - but it was still nice. And I wandered through the nearby labyrinth for my cool-down, which was really nice and soothing. Then it was back to work, sadly. I wrote for awhile, then took a nap, then wrote more, then took a nap, then just slept. I didn't finish it, but my prof is fine with me emailing it in later today, so it should be fine. I really need to get out of this habit of letting myself sleep a bit before I'm done. The one time it's worked I slept for about a 4 hour chunk and then just woke up really early. But it's so hard to resist the sleep...

So today I have to finish my paper. I also need to write for playwriting tomorrow. I have an appointment from 2 to 3, and them I'm supposed to give blood at 3:30 (but given my cold and tiredness, I may back out on that). Then I have my radio show from 6 to 8. My plan is to go directly to McCabe after my show and hole up and get work done. That's what I did for some of my work on Sunday, and it went fairly well, so I'll try it again. Fewer distractions and all that -- most significantly a lack of a comfy bed. The library closes at 1 am. Hopefully I'll be done with my paper long before that and will have made significant headway on the play.

*sigh* I did not finish The Mill on the Floss, but I think it's going to have to be ignored for now. I need to start on Orlando so that I'll be done with it before I have to write about it... Though first there's a back of theory articles to read. Blarg. And I have library internship stuff to do (though I usually enjoy that, so I'm okay with it), including working at a poetry reading on Friday. Then there's the summer stuff to apply for - RA position, jobs, etc. I also need to finish getting research for Zoo Story done so I can meet with the director and my advisor. This feels like the week from hell. And it's not helped by the fact that this year has basically consisted solely of weeks like this. *slumps in chair*

Today was good, though perhaps not as productive as it should have been. Pizza over at Mertz, then hanging out in ML this evening. Margaritas + friends + games = fun. Break should go on forever.

I'm back at Swat now. It's nice to be back, because now I can isolate myself. I had a great time on the trip, but really, every once in awhile you just need to be alone. Sadly, I must also begin thinking about doing work... Since I have a lot to do. Boo. I'll probably put it off until tomorrow, though maybe I'll do some light reading tonight. We'll see.

Highlights of the trip: Really, just about everything was fun. Even the long long car ride was entertaining most of the time. And hiding words in the Boggle board was way more fun than it should have been...

It's 6:30 am on a Saturday and I'm awake. There are so very many things wrong with this...

And so the trip to Georgia begins!

There are some very tempting concerts happening in Philly in the next few months...

Sun, 3/26 - Arctic Monkeys
Sat, 4/8 - Neko Case
Sun, 4/9 - Arab Strap
Tues, 4/11 - Wolf Parade
Sun, 4/16 - Ladytron
Sun, 5/14 - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Right now the Arctic Monkeys and Neko Case are very enticing. Especially Neko Case; I've listened to her new album a lot over the past few days... (WSRN, sometimes I love you!) I'm going to have to check out some of her older stuff.

Now I need to finish packing so I can get sleep... Since I have to be ready to go at 7:15 am to go pick up Alex and the other car with Meagan. And then we all leave Swat around 9 am, in theory.

My week is basically done. Which is good, because it's been far too long as it is. Tuesday was busy and anxiety filled, Wednesday was long, and today was just... *sigh*

The good news: I got reappointed as an RA. I'll be on ML 3rd, so I'll have a mix of freshman and upperclassmen. So that's cool. But the 3 people I wrote recs for, people I really thought would be excellent RAs, didn't get spots. Basically no ML people got it. I mean, there were 2, plus Ben and me, that lived in ML this year, but... It's not quite the same. Anyway, much sadness and frustration about that. And I talked to two of the deans, trying to sort out what happened... And I mean, I sort of understand, but it still really sucks and hurts. So.

Anyway, adding this onto the past two days is a recipe for a very unhappy me. I've been tearful all day, generally managing to hold it back, but not always. But my week is basically over now. I'm going to do laundry and let my mind deteriorate tonight (by watching TV and Newsies.

And on Saturday I leave for Georgia with a group of my friends. It should be fun, but it's like the world decided to screw me this week just to balance out the fun trip. Stupid world.