Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Played poker again tonight, this time with my dad, Ben and two of his friends, and a friend of mine. I ended up losing all $10 I put in, which sucked. Saka ended up ahead, as did my dad and brother. Oddly enough, one of my brother's friends, Andy, is actually really good at poker... Wins money at casinos and such... But he didn't do very well tonight. Of course, bluffing was hard to manage, and we were playing some odd games, so that may have been part of it.

I think I'm actually going to get to bed (relatively) early tonight. I'm rather tired, considering I slept in until around 1 pm today.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

My internal clock is incredibly screwed up. I haven't gone to bed before at least 3 am for the past 3 nights, and I don't think I've gotten up before 10 or 11 am for the past week. It's screwed up, but at least I'm getting a decent amount of sleep.

Monday, December 29, 2003

I have reached new heights (or lows, depending on how you look at it) in laziness. I rolled out of bed around 11 this morning to eat some pancakes, then loafed about until my dad, brother, and grandma departed. Then I went back to bed.

Around 3 or 4, I recieved a phone call, and I woke up enough to carry on a conversation. I then made my way downstairs, where I proceeded to be lazy and watch TV for the next few hours. Somewhere around 7 pm I ate some dinner, and finally, at 9 pm, I decided I should probably take a bath. So I bathed and changed out of my pajamas into a different pair of pajamas. And then I played video games. All in all, a highly productive day.

I am the queen slug. I love winter break.

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Alright. It is 3:18 am (the blog is still in eastern time), and I am just about done with the CDs... I'm on my last one.

I was just checking my email, and saw a link off to the side. It was for 10 holiday-themed proposal ideas... Curiousity got the best of me, and I clicked on it. The ideas are actually pretty cool -- definately the sort of stuff that makes you go "Awww, that's so sweet." I'm curious if anyone actual does these things... Though I guess the sweetness factor is hurt a little bit by the fact that the guy would be getting the idea from MSN. Still... Some of these require some effort, so I guess even if the idea isn't original, the time and love put into it make it awesome anyway.

I'm getting sappy now. I think sleep would help.
I'm still ripping CDs, so I had to find some way to occupy myself. Therefore, I give you quiz results:

Artistic
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla


cscscsc
Compassion: You are there to share your sympathy
with others. People would consider you
affectionate and caring, and someone to look up
to.


Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla


elrond
Congratulations! You're Elrond!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Many other quizzes were taken, but these are the most interesting/notable results.

I'm up to 1.5 days of music, and there are about 6 CDs left that I may rip... Yay... *yawn*... I'm sleepy, but I'm almost done.
I'm currently ripping some of my brother's many CDs onto my laptop. According to iTunes, I have a day's worth of music on my computer now. Isn't that special?

The rabbit is hopping about my room, trying to decide what he's going to do. I thought he was going to leave, but then he changed his mind. Now he's sitting in the corner, hanging out. Hopefully he won't start chewing on anything. That's really rather annoying, especially in the wee hours of the morning when I want to sleep. Because the moment I decide to ignore it, it will turn out he's chewing on something important, like an electrical cord or a book or something. So I have to wake up enough to find him and go and convince him that no, whatever he's chewing on is really not that tasty. Silly rabbit.

I leave for Chicago in a little less than a week... Yay! I'm looking forward to it -- for obvious reasons, of course, but also just for the chance to get out of the house and Quincy for awhile. I am enjoying my break and sleeping in and being lazy, but variety is supposed to be the spice of life, so I might as well go and be lazy in the Chicago suburbs for a few days.

I am now up to 1.1 days of music. Yay...


Saturday, December 27, 2003

Alright. Just finished playing poker with my dad and brothers. Two of my friends were in earlier, but they had to leave around 11:30... And we went on a whole 2 more hours. So, since we started around 9:30 pm and ended around 1:30 am... That makes for 4 straight hours of poker. I ended up putting in $8... And I made a $4.30 profit. My dad lost about $5. Bwahahahaha (No, that's not a hint of smug pride in that laugh, not at all...) Actually, I was down fairly early on, as was Ben... And my dad and Tim were up. But then the tables turned... Ben ended up $7 or so.

Anyway, it was fun. We played some different rules, including Black Maria. It's 7 card stud, except you split the pot between whoever has the best hand and whoever has the highest spade in their down cards... And, as an added twist, if the Queen of Spades shows up, then you all have to toss in another ante and redeal. It can lead to very large pots -- which is how I came back. We also played 7 card Sweat and Reveal. You get dealt 7 cards, bet, pass 3 to your neighbor, bet, pick your best 5, arrange them in whatever order you choose, then show them one at a time, with a round of betting after each set of cards revealed. Again, large pots. There were some other games too, but those were the 2 I liked the most.

Other than that... Hmm. Earlier today I ended up going out to eat with my mom and my "adopted" aunt and grandmother, plus their brother/son (not quite an adopted uncle yet). That was fun... Lot's of interesting stories and laughs.

The laughs continued this evening, when my brothers decided to break out one of my Christmas presents: Dance Dance Revolution. They had never played it, which leads to interesting sights of flailing and such as it is. Add the sight of my oldest brother, 6'4" and no sense of rhythm and well... Let's just say it was a sight to see. A very scary, yet humorous sight. I'll probably have nightmares about it.

That's assuming I go to bed... Which I should probably do. It's already past 2, and I need to get up and meet people for lunch tomorrow. Whee.

Goodnight, all!

Friday, December 26, 2003

Christmas is officially over now... It was a good one, though, even if (or perhaps because) it was pretty low-key. We decided to just go with lights on the tree and there were no extravegant gifts. A lot of books and CDs (and video games for me).

So in-between family togetherness things and such, I've been filling my ears with Tori Amos, Hey Mercedes, and Ozma. There are other CDs that also await my listening pleasure, but they'll just have to be patient and wait their turns. I've also been playing some SSX 3 (very fun) and, of course, Soul Calibur II (sooo addicting). All in all, quite a lot of fun. And I haven't even broken out the DDR stuff yet -- that'll be my exercise for the remainder of break, I imagine.

I didn't end up going to church last night... I just went to bed instead. It was probably the best move, since I felt much better today.

And now, a quiz:

cho
You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Mmm. Chocolate. Yummy.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

I feel horrible right now. I have a headache, and I'm dead tired... I slept until about 11 or so, and then slept more from about 2 until dinner. And I still feel tired and have no energy to do anything at all. My family is supposed to do presents soon and then go to church at 11 pm... But I have a feeling that I may be bailing on church because I feel so crappy. I feel guilty about that (especially with this whole church issue with my brother), but staying up late and having to deal with noise and such is not going to make me feel any better. But we'll see.

Other than that, merry almost-Christmas to everyone.
The holidays are here. All my shopping is done, my brothers are home, and my grandmother is on her way up tomorrow. Which means she'll be here in time for the Christmas Eve service. Which I will be attending (it's the one church service I actually enjoy, and I promised a friend I'd go... She's involved in the service)... But it's unclear if one of my brothers will be going.

I can understand his logic. Going to keep Grandma pacified is kind of silly, and it is patronizing to say that she wouldn't be able to handle it. But as my mom pointed out, it's also true. This woman is not in good shape. She's a devout Christian who doesn't have the best grip on things, and I can easily see how having one of her grandchildren be rather blunt about their lack of faith could upset her. I don't think anything has been decided yet... One semi-arguement has already occurred, and I can only imagine that it will get worse when my dad becomes involved. Having stubborn people go head to head in something like this is not a very pretty sight.

But it's a sight that will probably be common over the next few days... Because you can't have the two of them together for long without something erupting. This has been demonstrated time and again during family vacations and the like. So it's bound to happen, which will make life in the house quite jolly.

I just used the word jolly. Hmm. I do believe it's time for me to go to bed.

Monday, December 22, 2003

First update since I've been home. The lack of updates has been mostly due to the fact that the it's hard to spend lengthy periods of time on the Internet at the moment, since the 2nd phone line has decided to stop functioning.

Anyway. The trip pack was fine (my bag -- the Bag of Doom -- was too large, but the guy checking it was nice enough to let it slide), and sleeping in my big bed has been quite nice. I haven't done anything productive, really... Though I have watched some movies. I saw Pirates of the Caribbean (fun), Return of the King (great), When Harry Met Sally (cute), and Kissing Jessica Stein (good).

I've also gotten a chance to see some of my friends, which was nice. My boyfriend came to visit, but he's been sick most of the time... Flu, we think. I feel bad for him, the poor guy. But he's hung in there and handled my family and friends very well. He goes home early tomorrow... And then I get to see him again in a little over a week. (Go ahead Marci. I know you want to tease me.) Hopefully he'll be feeling better by then.

Most of tomorrow will be spent down in St. Louis with one of my brothers as I run around frantically doing all of my Christmas shopping. Then we'll swing by the airport and pick up my other brother and bring him home.

And now, I'm going to go catch up on my online comics and such. Whee!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Psych is over, and I'm confident that I did well. Now I have about 5 hours until I leave. Woohoo! I'm really looking forward to going home right now. I need a break, and the idea of sleeping in my big cozy bed and seeing my family, friends, and animals is very appealing. I also have an urge to spend hours playing video games and watching movies and reading for pleasure. *sighs happily* A whole month without school or work. How wonderful is that?

Off to pack now!

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Just finished my English email exam and sent it off to my teacher. It wasn't too bad... I'm fairly confident about it. Tomorrow is psych, which I need to do a little last minute studying for. Before that, though, I think I'll do some packing... I don't want to have to do all of it tomorrow afternoon, since I'm bound to forget something that way.
Hmm. So I decided to check on my bike (which I haven't ridden for awhile, seeing as the hill up to campus is a beast). I haven't really kept it locked, since the bike rack is inside the building... And the bike rack is basically full anyway, so it's hard to find a space to actually lock your bike onto. Anyway, I figured I'd lock it up before break. Only it doesn't appear to be there. This is not cool. My lock, which was wrapped around the handlebars, was on the ground where the bike should be. Hopefully it was just borrowed by a person who was in a rush to get to a final or something. (I can hope!) Otherwise... Rar. I'll just lose a bit more of my faith in people in general.

Either way, I'm going to start locking my bike.
So I just realized that my English exam is due by midnight tomorrow, not Friday. Gah. So I either have to do it tonight, tomorrow afternoon, or tomorrow after I get home. The last 2 options do not sound like much fun, so I guess I'll be setting aside 2 hours this evening to do it. *sigh*

I'll be so glad when this is all over.
So my history final is over now, and I think I did decently on it. Now I just have to do my English and study for my psych exam. And pack, of course.

I'm really tempted to take a nap right now, but I know I shouldn't. But I'm also not in the mood to write more essays, so English is a no go. That leaves me with studying psych. So I guess I'll go do that. Fun stuff.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

I've worked on my history a fair amount... But I still need to do more, get it cemented in my mind. But it's so hard. Gah.

I really don't want to see my grade for this class. I didn't do very well on the 3 quizzes, and while I know I will pass the class, it will not be with the sort of grade I have become accustomed to. But I guess that's part of coming to Swarthmore. And anyway, can I really be that upset when I've fallen asleep during lecture so much? No, I can't.

I also need to finish studying for psychology (tomorrow's project, after my history final is over) and pack. And I really should do my English thing as well, though in theory that's not due until the 18th... So I could do it at home on Friday. But I don't know if that's a good idea. However, at this point, I may have to. Hmm. I'm not sure how I should handle this...

I definately have to finish up history tonight. There's no other option. Psych can be tomorrow afternoon or evening. The English exam has a 2 hour time limit, so I guess I could either fit that in tomorrow or maybe I should do that between my psych exam and going to the airport. Hmm. I'm not entirely sure how much time I'll have then, though. My exam gets over at noon (I really doubt it will take all 3 hours, though...), then I need to eat lunch, do my last minute packing, and then I think my shuttle to the airport will be between 3 and 3:30 (but I need to check on that). So... Hmm. Doesn't look good. I guess I'll have to try to do it tomorrow, then. *sigh* I really should have done it this weekend, but I chose to be lazy instead. Shame on me.

Okay. Time to finish history.
My history final is tomorrow. I still need to get ready for it. That's a daunting and not fun task. Which is why I kept on rolling back over every time I woke up, unwilling to leave the lovely comfort of my bed to do work. But now it's officially the afternoon, so I really can't justify going back to sleep again. Gah.

But when that's over, all I have left is psych and a 2 hour English email final. Neither of those are too scary to me, so I'm not that worried about either of them. And after that I need to pack. That is a fairly frightening task, actually... But it has a nice reward of getting to go home and sleep and see people.

But now... History. Well, actually... Shower, and then history. But history work will be started fairly soon.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

We finally made use of the half of the extra-big bulletin board that's been sitting behind our door for the past couple of months. It's now on our wall, with a few posters and a lot of odd magazine cut-outs. Most of them are ads, because when the only magazines you have available to cut up are Times, well... You're limited in picture choice. Unless you want pictures of political figures or fighting in Iraq. But we didn't. Instead, we have a large reptilian eye and a waterfall, among other things. Woohoo.

I still have not read much more psychology. But I've decided I'm just going to read the summaries. I feel guilty about it, but at least I'll be studying something.
I'm feeling rather lazy and really have no desire to read my psychology (though I know I should) or prep for my history final (though I need to). Bleh. I'm looking forward to going home and being lazy... I plan to sleep a lot and play many hours of video games. Whee!

I'll also be revamping my old website. I downloaded a new HTML editor onto my laptop, and I have some space to host the site on through school (no more ads, to the best of my knowledge... Woohoo!). So over break I'll do the coding and everything, figure out how I want stuff laid out, figure out what I want to keep, what I want to get rid of, etc... And then when I get back to school, hopefully I'll be able to upload it onto the actual site. This is the plan. But I've been planning on redoing my site for awhile, so we'll see if it actually happens.

Other than that... Not much going on. I went to a party for a bit last night, which was pretty fun, and then came back to ML and ended up talking to people until about 2 am. All in all, a pretty good night.

Around 10 am, my roommate's boyfriend came to see if she was awake yet (which was a bit of an ordeal, seeing as he's currently on crutches, the poor guy)... Which she kind of was, so he came in and told us the news about Saddam being captured. We talked about that for a bit and then talked about some other political stuff in general.

And since then I've gone to brunch, done my laundry, and read some psych. I have to read about 2 chapters a day to get done before my final. And this, my friends, is why you do not leave the reading until the last minute. I'm seriously thinking about just reading the chapter summaries, since most of this stuff is just a repeat of what I learned last year in AP... And I learned that information rather well (thank you Mrs. Soebbing), so it's more of a matter of just refreshing my memory (and allowing the information to be recalled more easily) than actually learning it. Plus, the book is only so-so in terms of writing and organization of info, so it's not a quick easy read... Not very condusive to skimming.

And that's it for now...

Friday, December 12, 2003

My philosophy paper is done and has been emailed to my prof. It's actually longer than the required 8 pages. Okay, it only goes over onto the 9th page a little bit, but I'm still proud of it. Overall, I think it's a good paper, and I hope my prof will agree.
I feel like such a music geek. I'm listening to Peter's music on shuffle, and an unlabled song popped up. It sounded familiar, so I sat and listened to it and eventually determined that it was Jeff Buckley. I just tested my theory, and I was correct: it was indeed Jeff Buckley's "Corpus Christi Carol."

And now, back to the last few paragraphs of my philosophy paper.
Okay. English paper and portfolio are now done, and I am very happy about that. I dashed up to campus (well, walked fast) and got it turned in about 10 minutes before the deadline. Whee. Walking up there was hellish, though... My shin splits, which had been gone since track season, made a magical return, and they hurt. But I couldn't slow down, because I was scared that I wouldn't get to LPAC on time if I did.

And now, after finally eating lunch at 3 pm, I'm going to crawl into bed and sleep until dinner. After that, I get to finish up my philosophy paper and email it to my prof by midnight.

Isn't finals time lovely?

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Oh yeah -- basically all of the snow is gone now. It melted away last night. Or, as Uber-Matt would say, it was eaten by the rain and fog. Either way, it's gone, and now everything is just kind of brown and yucky, with some white here and some green there. It was nice while it lasted, though.
I feel very ready for the Primal Scream. It takes place tonight at midnight. I'm already screaming silently to myself, so screaming out loud with the rest of campus won't be a very hard transition to make.
Bleh. I was in McCabe from about 1 to 5 today, and I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I have my paper sort of figured out, but then there's this secondary source thing looming over me. I know that I should have dealt with it earlier, but I just haven't had time. *sighs* And the paper, along with the rest of my portfolio, is due at 3 pm tomorrow. After that, I have to write my 2nd philosophy paper, which is due by midnight. And when that's all over, I have to start getting ready for my history and psych finals. Gah.

None of this is made easier by the fact that I really just want to either stare blankly into space or sleep for hours on end. Bah humbug.
A quiz that I got from Mama Cat's site...

tribal tattoo



You Should Get a Tribal Tattoo!


"Primal, earthy, and naturally sexy"

Describes both you and your tattoo

Subtle tattoo + subtle sensuality = perfect match!



What Tattoo Should You Get?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva


The picture is almost exactly like Kristin's tattoo... Nifty.

Most of today will be spent in the library, working on my English paper. Woohoo. Of course, before I can do that, I need to take a shower. Which means sitting and waiting for a bit until I can actually get in the shower. Until then, I think I'll sit around a bit and listen to music. Whee.




Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Very last radio show of the semester... I went the whole semester without repeating any songs, but for the last show I decided to do ahead and pick some of my favorite artists/songs that I had played this semester.
So here's the playlist:

*Mando Diao: Sheepdog
Pedro the Lion: When They Really Get to Know You They Will Run
Radiohead: 2+2=5
*Denali: The Instinct
Ozma: If Only I Had A Heart
Poe: Could’ve Gone Mad
Belle and Sebastian: Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying
Modest Mouse: Paper Thin Walls
Damien Rice: Volcano
Dashboard Confessional: Bend and Not Break
Death Cab for Cutie: The New Year
Sleater-Kinney: The End of You
Pretty Girls Make Graves: Chemical, Chemical
(International) Noise Conspiracy: Smash it Up
Weezer: Only in Dreams

The Modest Mouse song was a request from my brother. He listened last night, and I felt special.

I had every intention of sleeping until noon today, since I don't have class. Instead, I woke up around 9:50 and couldn't fall asleep again. Gah. But if I get sleepy later today, I'm taking a nap, and I won't feel the least bit guilty.


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Went to the a capella concert tonight... It was good. An all-girl group sang a version of Tori Amos's "Leather," and the all-guy group sang a Guster song.

Today was my last day of classes for the semester, and tonight is my last radio show of the semester. Whee. I get to sleep late tomorrow, which is very nice, since I'll be going to bed sometime around or after 4 am. Yay...
This song seems oddly appropriate right now...

See the strange boy talking to his shadow,
He's got a secret to tell.
His imaginary friend knows everything,
Don't let him go out.
He says they won't believe you,
You don't know what you're talking about.


Cause his eyes are always red, can't sleep at night,
Doesn't feel like being positive all the time.
Doesn't sit still, doesn't look well,
Give him something, make it chemical chemical.


You'll feel better when you cannot feel.

See the strange girl talking to her shadow,
She's got a secret to tell.
Her imaginary friend knows everything,
Don't let her go out.
She says they won't believe you,
You don't know what you're talking about.


Doesn't sit still, doesn't look well,
Give him something, make it chemical chemical.


You'll get use to cranial niches,
Smoothes out neuro-tramsmitted glitches.
You'll feel better when you cannot feel.


We'll have such a fabulous time,
Almost imitate a normal life.
You'll feel better when you cannot feel.


You'll feel better when you cannot feel...

-Pretty Girls Make Graves, "Chemical, Chemical"

It's actually worse than I thought... Which is absolutely horrible. At the same time, none of it really feels real yet. I've been given information, but I haven't seen or experienced the situation... So it hasn't really sunk it yet. I don't really want it to sink in. I want it to not be real.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Alright, enough people (enough being two...) have asked about the drug thing that I might as well explain a bit further. But you'll be recieving no names, because... Well, just because.

A guy I know back in Quincy (a sort of friend... Never a close friend, but we hang out with some of the same people, and he's a good guy) moved into an apartment of his own sometime late this summer or so. He was already smoking some pot, but he started smoking some more. Some new neighbors moved in on the floor below, and they used some harder drugs. Apparently he got involved in that. I'm not sure what he was using... I know that he used some acid at least once, and maybe also some Ecstacy, but other than that, I'm not sure... Anyway, one night he was on some stuff, borrowed his mom's new car, and totalled it. He has since moved back in with his parents and checked himself into some sort of rehab/therapy thing.

So the whole situation is pretty sucky. He's cool and pretty smart. He's done some stuff at the local community college, and he went to a college out here in the East for about a semester... But he didn't like it, so he came back to Quincy. But I think he was looking into other 4-year colleges to transfer to sometime in the next year or so. And now this happens, and I don't know what's going to happen. I hope everything works out alright.

So. That's that.
Listening to Ozma's "Korobeiniki" makes me want to play Tetris so much... But I have to come up with a thesis for my paper on Beloved instead.

There's so much stuff going on in the book that it's hard to focus on just one thing... So I'm kind of at a loss. Gah.

My mom is spoiling me. I got a cake and a tray of cookies for my birthday. Yummy. I've been nice and shared, of course. Because I'm certainly not going to be able to eat it all by myself.

Okay. Thesis-development time. While playing Tetris. Multi-tasking is great.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

So now I know more than I did, which is good, but also not. This is the sort of thing that I never want to hear about. Not because I want to live in a bubble, but because I just don't want it to actually happen. Drugs don't exactly scare me, but they do worry me a bit. I'm fine with people drinking alcohol, though I'm a firm believer in moderation. I can handle people doing pot, even though I don't really approve... But when it gets to harder stuff, then I get worried and not happy and such. I just don't like it. Maybe part of it is that I don't understand the attraction at all. I watch movies like Requiem for a Dream and I hear about things like this happening to people I know, and I just don't understand it. But I'm glad I don't understand it, I think... Because it's sort of like a guard against something like this ever happening to me. But it doesn't help people I know. So I still worry about them. Such is life, I guess... But I really wish it wasn't.

And now, a song...

I woke up...
Tried to get dressed.
But I was alarmed, I was distressed.


Though I always, always try to do my best,
I had become a sniveling mess...
A sniveling mess, a sniveling mess.


Will you love me if I'm a mess?
Will you love me if I'm a mess?
Will you love me?
Will you love me?


Hold on...
I want to make sure you comprehend.
Hold on...
I need you to be comfortable.


Did you understand?
Did you understand what I am?


With that resolved,
I guess I'll go...
Pack my bags,
Move to Borneo.


When I get there
I'll live in a tree...
I'm tellin' all y'all that's where I'll be
If you need me.


Will you love me if I'm a mess?
Will you love me if I'm a mess?
Will you love me?
Will you love me?
Will you love me if I'm a mess?


Hold on...
I want to make sure you comprehend.
Hold on...
I need you to be comfortable.


Did you understand?
Did you understand what I am?


-- Steve Burns, "A Sniveling Mess"
(Yes, that's the Steve from Blue's Clues... Odd, isn't it? But the music is good.)

We went into Philly last night and ate dinner at an Afghan restaurant. I had a lamb and rice dish, and it was delicious, especially when paired with the mango juice. Mmm. Yummy. We played poker last night too, which was cool… I put in $5 and left with $10. Woohoo.

Just before midnight Claudia called, which was really cool. She wished me happy birthday, and then when I went back across the hall, everyone there sang to me as well, which was really nice (though slightly off-key). This morning my parents called, and while I was on the phone with them, I guess Heather called. I feel quite loved.

I was working on my history paper, trying really hard to be productive. My mind kept wandering though, which created a bit of a problem. One thing that my mind hit on a few times is this whole situation I’ve heard about involving a guy I know back home.

All I know is what I’ve managed to piece together from an email and some blog entries… Not enough to know what’s going on, only enough to have the words “overdose” and “rehab” going around in my head, without any idea of what else is going on. No idea if it was an accident or intentional, no clue what drug, no idea how he’s doing… Nothing. And yeah, I’m a bit worried. We were never really close, but he’s a good guy. Funny, nice to talk to, cool. So… I’m wondering what exactly is going on, but I’m also a bit afraid of finding out.

Life is a sleazy stranger who looks vaguely familiar,
Flirting with a bimbo named Disaster at the end of the bar.
– Ani Difranco, “The Million that You Never Made”

On a lighter note, go to Google. Type in “weapons of mass destruction” and then click the “I’m feeling lucky” button (not the normal search button!). It will send you to a rather amusing site. Or if you’re feeling lazy, I suppose I could just give you the link to the site… It’s here. No matter how you choose to go there, whether through Google or the link I’ve given you, go check it out.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

I feel tired, and I really don't feel like working on my history paper. I'm on page 2 at the moment. Blech. I have to leave soon to go into Philadelphia for a special hall dinner, and by the time we get back, I'll probably end up playing poker or something.

So that means I'll have to work on the paper tomorrow, since it's due in class on Monday. Working on a history paper on my birthday. Sounds like a great deal of fun, no?

Going to go brave the cold outside and trek to the train station now. Whee.
So, I was supposed to go see Love Actually last night. That didn't end up happening, since the movie shuttle wasn't running due to the snow. Grr.

Still, after some minor problems, the night went well. Though I managed to be an abusive bed partner and kick him out 3 times in my sleep. *feels bad* He ended up sleeping on the floor for about 3 hours. He slept on the floor in his own room. *feels worse* Damn twin beds.

Friday, December 05, 2003

It's so cool to see some of my hallmates react to the snow... A few of them have never seen it. One guy was giddy when I saw him earlier today, and apparently he was taking pictures of the snowy campus. Another guy just finished making his very first snowman and took pictures to send home to Florida. It's great... It's been a really long time since I've seen anyone get this excited by snow just because it's snow (and not say, a snow day).
Playlist from last night:

*The Shins: Kissing the Lipless
Pixies: Gigantic
The Postal Service: Such Great Heights
*Elbow: Ribcage
*The Holy Ghost: Seein’ is Believin’
Alkaline Trio: Private Eye
*Broken Social Scene: Stars and Sons
*Denali: Hold Your Breath
A Perfect Circle: Lullaby
Poe: Dolphin
The New Pornographers: Mass Romantic
*Irving: The Guns from Here
Weezer: Say It Ain’t So
*The Natural History: Dance Steps
Rooney: Blueside

It's snowing... Well, actually, it seems to have almost stopped now, but it's been snowing since around 7 am, so there's plenty on the ground and trees to make the campus look pretty nifty.

I need to finish my English paper now. Such fun.



Thursday, December 04, 2003

The possible awkward situations issue has been resolved for the most part. This is good, because the idea of playing an unusual version of Russian Roulette when I opened my door was not going over well with me. Now I'll know when to knock and when to just go right on in. Yay.

In other news, I'm tired. I really want to sleep. I may just end up sleeping here in the library for a bit this afternoon. But before I do that, I have to at least make an attempt to get some work done.

My basic work schedule for the rest of the semester...

Thursday, Dec 4th and Friday, Dec 5th: Work on English paper (due Friday at 5 pm)
Saturday, Dec 6th and Sunday, Dec 7th: Work on history paper (due Monday in class)
Monday, Dec 8th through Friday, Dec 12th: Work on another English paper, work on final portfolio for English (both due on Friday at 3 pm), work on final philsophy paper (due Friday by midnight)
Saturday, Dec 13th through Wednesday, Dec 17th: Study for history final (Wednesday), study for psych final (Thursday), do English take-home final (due Thursday)
Thursday, Dec 18th: After taking psych final, finish packing, head for the airport, and go home.

Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it? And somewhere in there you have to fit in radio shows tonight and Tuesday, some stuff for my birthday this weekend, and some time to relax and sleep and such. Whee.

Oh... Last night I went to a debate between students representing some of the Democratic presidential candidates... Clark, Kerry, Edwards, Dean, and Lieberman were represented. The guys for Kerry and Lieberman were okay, but not spectuacular. The Edwards supporter was very energetic and interesting to listen to, but it was more because of the guy talking than the actual candidate. The girl for Dean was good, and the guy for Clark really knew his stuff. All in all, it was an interesting debate.

Okay. Off to do work.
Woohoo! Just got an email... The 10:30 am Astro class was going to be lotteried, but enough people switched over to the 9:30 one that it's not going to be lotteried after all. This means that for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my first class will be at 10:30 am. *does happy dance* This is so cool.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Walking into my room has become a bit of an adventure lately. It's a bit like this...

*Jen walks down the hall, notices door is shut. Her mind begins to go through the possibilities. Bracing herself, she opens the door and either lets out a sigh of relief, chokes back laughter, or resists the urge to turn and run right back downstairs or outside or somewhere else.*

It's safe during the day. After about 5 or 6, though, all bets are off. And by 10 pm or so... Well, then it can get interesting. If no one was there when I left my room, it might be safe. And if not... Well, that's when I enter with caution. I only fled once. I've laughed many times. And when I get to sigh with relief? That's just really nice. Though it's getting rarer.
My philosophy paper has been successfully completed. Booyah!

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Good news: Hotmail seems to be cooperating with my laptop again.

Bad news: I have a philosophy paper due tomorrow that I haven't started writing, we're hosting a study break tomorrow (and we haven't really figured out what we're doing), and I feel incredibly lazy and don't want to do much of anything at all.

I'm really looking forward to winter break.
For some reason, Hotmail doesn't want to work on my computer. It's working fine here in the library, and it worked on other people's computers, but it won't cooperate with mine. This is not good.

It's kind of snowing outside. Not sticking at all, but there are pretty light flurries coming down. It's nifty.

This is my last full week of classes. I have 2 days of class next week, a few days of downtime, and then finals shall be upon me. Whee.

I have a bit more than an hour before English class. Must go do something productive.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Oh... By the way, I decided to get rid of Squawkbox. HaloScan has been working nicely, so I'm just going to go with that.

I stayed awake through all of history class today. Philosophy, however, suffered because of that. I'm sleepy still, but I have work to do. Blech.
I have two more radio shows left this semester... One this Thursday, December 4th... And then my last show is on Tuesday, December 9th. Why Tuesday? Because classes on Monday and Tuesday of next week follow the Friday and Thursday schedules, due to Thanksgiving break... So the radio also follows that schedule, it seems.

So anyway... If you haven't listened to me yet and you feel so inclined, catch me on the air this Thursday or next Tuesday night, from 2-3 am EST. Just follow the links at the WSRN website and you can listen online.
This was written while I was waiting to get to on the plane back to Swarthmore...

I’m sitting in the St. Louis airport, composing this entry to be posted whenever I get to my dorm and have Internet access. It looks like that will be awhile, unfortunately. As it was, I was going to be sitting here for longer than usual… My dad had a flight earlier today, so my brother and I were dropped off at the same time as he was. That easily added 2 extra hours of waiting time… And then when I check in, I discover my flight has already been delayed and is now set to leave a half hour later. Add this to the excess time I always have fit into my schedule anyway (on time for flights is good; early is better), and that means that I’ve been sitting here for awhile. And it’s just a little after 5 pm, so I’ve got probably about 2 hours to go. Gah.

Of course, I should be using this time to do something productive. Like read history or work on my English paper. And I have read some, but it’s so hard to focus while sitting in an airport. There are so many interesting people to watch (2 people have walked by that look really familiar, and then there was one guy that was clothed solely in shades of camel and mustard yellow), random cell phone conversations that are hard to block out, and the ever-present music. The current music, since it is officially the holiday season, is jazzy instrumentals of Christmas songs. Woohoo. I think airports do this on purpose. Maybe the theory is if you have upbeat holiday music in the background, people will feel really guilty about being grumpy and hassling the attendants despite all the crazy delays, over-bookings, and so on. As long as “Jingle Bells” is playing, no one will get (seriously) hurt, or something.

I don’t know. I’m probably just making up bizarre theories because I’m bored out of my mind right now. But I can’t take a nap, because I’m paranoid that a) someone will steal my stuff or b) I will sleep through them calling my flight and never get back to Swat. I think I’m more worried about b than a, actually. I have a decent amount of faith in people (or I could drape myself over my belongings), but I have little faith in my body to wake up at the appropriate time.

Someone next to me is reading East of Eden. A girl on my other side is showing a friend a dress she bought (cute dress, by the way). A woman walked by wearing pink pants and corresponding scarf. Everyone but me seems to have a cell phone. There’s a girl whose scarf is an extremely bright and disturbing shade of yellow. Nothing exciting is going on, and it’s only 5:24 pm. An hour and a half left. A girl walked by wearing a shirt that said “Ciao Roma!” and I immediately thought of Eddie Izzard and his impersonation of Italians driving around on their scooters saying “Ciao” to everyone. God, I’m bored and tired.

I feel a strong urge to sleep, or at least sprawl out on the floor and lapse into a state of pseudo-unconsciousness, whatever that would entail. Staring at the ceiling, probably, and ignoring the world around me.

It’s 5:31 now. Gah. I suppose I’ll go back to reading history. That’s almost like being pseudo-unconscious…

*Sometime later*

Okay, I just went and checked on my flight. It seems that the departure time has been pushed back to 7:42 pm. If I could, I would bang my head against something. But that could be deemed suspicious behavior and be reported to the authorities and get me kicked out of the airport. And we definitely don’t want that.

I wish I was back at ML right now.

*And now*

So I'm back at the dorm. Yay! When I went and found Matt, he greeted me with food, since he knew I probably hadn't had much of a dinner. How sweet is that? *grins all happy-like*

However, now I'm tired, and I need to sorta unpack some stuff before I can go sleep in my now-seemingly tiny (yet still really comfy) bed. Whee.