Yeah. To quote Dashboard Confessional...

So this is odd,
The painful realization that all has gone wrong...
And nobody cares at all,
And nobody cares at all.

Writing an email when, blam! it hits me full-force. I have a pathetic social life. Sometime, in the last semester of school or so, I seem to have lost the people who I at least used to think were my friends. Maybe not lost, but at least misplaced or became distanced from, or something like that. I will say that it is most definately my fault in some way. I got busy with the play and then track, and I was always focused on school. With my second semester activites, I started to hang out more with some other people. But most of those people never reached full-fledged "friend" status -- they were good aquaintences that I talked with and hung out with when our paths crossed. Now that school's done, our paths have ceased to cross, and I'm left stranded. I've talked to a few people this week, but I haven't done much of anything with anyone... And it sucks.

Even as I acknowledge that some of this isolation is my own fault, I'm also forced to realize that the people who I've drifted away from may not have been very close friends in the first place. Sure, we hung out and all that stuff. I have a link to their website on this page. But when someone made use of that website to insult me, not a single one of them said a word in my defense. So if they don't care about me, should I really care about them? But if I don't care, what do I have left? A very limited number of good friends here in town, and maybe a handful more scattered across the country? It's depressing when I stop and think about it. And if I really think aobut it, I remember that most of my good friends from my junior year went away to school, and I lost touch with almost all of them. Even my correspondence with my friends from camp seems to be dwindling, as the email slows, coming only in occasional spurts, with only one person remaining a constant throughout it all.

So yeah... I feel very small and lonely right now.