Today was basically swallowed up in a happy dose of fiction and discussion on writing. Four Swarthmore alums - Adam Haslett '92, Yongsoo Park '94, Chris Castellani '94, and Joe Gangemi '92 - came to read, conduct workshops, and talk with people. I heard readings by Yongsoo, Chris, and Joe... All were different but all were good. I caught the last bit of Adam's talk/workshop, then got to listen to all of Joe's. I also sat in on the final panel-style Q and A thing. And I bought a copy of Joe's book and got it signed. This last bit makes me ridiculously happy, as I developed a bit of a fan-girl crush on him over the course of his reading and talk.

By and large, the guys were novelists, though I think Adam also does a lot of short stories. Joe's main focus is on screenwriting. Mel Gibson's company is producing one of his scripts. Johnny Depp is going to produce the script based on the book Joe read from today. He's adapted some of Stephen King's stuff for the screen. He cowrote a script - about vampire heart surgeons - with a friend. I don't think the script ever saw the light of day, but the friend later went on to write 'Minority Report.' So yeah, getting all that info in the brief intro before his reading was a bit of an overwhelming "wow" moment. And then, when he turned out to be a funny, really nice guy who wrote really well -- well, fan-girl crush.

All of the guys were really nice, and all have had quite a bit of success. On one hand, it's a bit mind-boggling and scary to think that these guys -- all in their 30s -- have already worked so hard and done so well. It's a lot to try to match. On the other hand, it's awesome to hear about Swat grads who have done really well in mainstream areas like popular literature and movies.

You hear a lot about Swatties who do quirky things when you pick up the Swarthmore alumni magazine. You hear some about the ones who are more mainstream and just too well-known to ignore (i.e. Jonathan Franzen). But these four guys, with their various awards and success stories? I would never have heard about them if not for this weekend organized by the English department. The editor of Glamour, Cindi Leive, is a Swat grad. She got mentioned in one Swat publication in 2003, apparently... But I only found out when she came for a dinner/discussion done by Career Services.

It's nice to hear about these people who are successful in more mainstream areas. Because honestly, while going out and being a midwife may be cool, I'd rather be a screenwriter. The midwives made the cover of a past Swat alumni publication. The same issue had about a column on Gangemi publishing his novel and selling screenplays. I remember reading the midwife story; I wish I had remembered the article on Joe. I probably leafed past it; the first few lines of the article do ring a bell.

Basically, I guess my issue is this: I know Swat prides itself on quirkiness. I understand and like this... But I do think they should be better about showing more of the facets of what you can do with your degree. Given attention to the more unusual choices and stories is good; being reminded that you can have a more 'normal' career and still be happy and successful is nice too. As it is, there's almost this unconscious push towards the unusual, like you won't be a noteworthy alum if you're doing something linked to popular culture. This frustrates me.

It also seems to go against the school's more mainstream push of late. The new admissions DVD, the attempt to tone down the intense image, and so on... All of that seems to be aimed at polishing up the quirky image to make the college appeal to a wider group.

And this is where it gets weird for me. I like the quirky image. I don't want the college to aim for a more mainstream crowd, because there are a lot of things that seem to come with it -- such as the increased issues with drinking that seem to have emerged over the past few years -- that I don't want to see here. I love Swat, I love the intense image. I even love the intense reality, no matter how much I complain about it. But I do like the possibility of more mainstream success, of becoming an editor at a bigger publishing house instead of a specialized non-profit press.

I guess I feel somewhat hypocritical, wanting this quirkiness now while preserving the chance to go back to the mainstream after graduation. I feel odd wanting to be seen as a quirky Swattie but also wanting to be reminded about alums who have succeeded in popular culture. I want my cake, and I want to eat it too, because it looks like a very tasty cake... But then I feel bad. Not right away, no... But when I do this, when I reflect on the incongruities of how I want to be seen now and what I dream of becoming (even if many of those dreams will, in fact, never happen -- I mean, lead singer in a band? Still a dream of mine, never happening...), that's when I feel bad. Maybe not bad, but confused to some extent.

I have now rambled on for a good long while, and that should stop now. It's been an hour since I started writing this, and while I definitely got distracted by other things, that is still too long. It's time for philosophy reading and bed, I think.