Fun quotes from Christopher Durang's The Marriage of Bette and Boo:

Bette (at her father's funeral): "Boo, thank you for being sober today. Look how happy it makes Skippy."
Boo: "Skippy's drunk."

Karl (after the 3rd stillborn child): "You missed it, Boo.
Boo: "Did it live?"
Karl: "Not unless they redefined the term."

Matt: "Although crazy people often mean well, meaning well is not enough. On some level, Attila the Hun may have meant well."

And my favorite:

Matt: "I don't think God punishes people for specific things."
Bette: "That's good."
Matt: "I think He punishes people in general, for no reason."

Black comedies are fun. :)