Last night? Never doing that again. I have confirmed what I always thought - drinking that much only leads to badness. So let's just chalk this up to a learning experience and move on, shall we? Many thanks to Jamison, Kyle, Emily, and whoever else helped me out (because yeah, there's a lot of fuzziness) - especially Kyle and Emily. Thanks guys. And yes, Mom, I'm okay.

The real question, though, is why I randomly woke up at 6:30 am...