We're reading witness poetry in Lit class... Poetry by people who saw/experienced nasty things, like the Holocaust and revolutions and civil wars. Some of it's pretty depressing; the rest is very depressing. But I don't care, because most of it is also very good, and it's not like I'm a happy-go-lucky person anyways.

That said... I really liked this one portion of a poem... It's from Anna Akhmatova's Requiem...

Confess: I was prepared,
am somehow ready for the test.

So much to do today:
kill memory, kill pain,
turn heart into a stone,
and yet prepare to live again.

Yeah. So I like the whole depressing, twisted to do list aspect of it. I kind of wish my to do list looked like that. But no, it's boring... Homework, reply to email, clean room...

I actually did attempt to clean my room today. Or I forced the mess in the corner into a more contained area. Which is really all that can be expected unless I'm given a large block of uninterupted time (say, a week) to deal with it. I'm such a pack rat. It's really not good.

Track season is winding down. I haven't really done much, meet-wise, but that's okay. I suck and I know it. The head coach and the distance coach ganged up on me and a friend... We have to run the open mile tomorrow. *forced enthusiasm* Yay.

Hmm... I was just reading Bun-Bun's blog. It makes me happy to actually be able to put a face and voice and personality with most of the blogs I read now. I don't know why it makes me happy; it just does. I also don't feel quite so odd reading the blogs. Before they were just Claudia's friends that she had talked about. Now they're Claudia's friends that I've met and hung out with.

Sketti appears to be down at the moment. Surprise surprise. I wish it was more stable; it's so entertaining... And I did want to read some of the messages, see if anyone had replied to some stuff. But I suppose it will have to wait.

For some reason, I think there was something else I wanted to write... Ah yes, it was about my lack of social planning skills. Typical conversation with me is like this:

Friend: Hey, do you want to do something tonight?
Me: Sure.
Friend: So, what do you want to do?
Me: Um... I don't know...

At this point, the conversation usually dies. Because most of my friends also lack social planning skills. Or maybe we just have undeveloped skills, since there is nothing to do in my town. Either way, after the Junior/Senior Reception on Friday, my friends and I were standing in the high school parking lot trying to come up with something to do. We completely and utterly failed.
Other evidence that I have poor social planning skills: up until 4 hours prior to the dance, I had NO clue what I was doing beforehand. I was also half an hour late when I finally did figure out what I was doing. I have no idea what's going on for prom... And I really probably should have some thoughts on that. But no, no, I don't.

There's other stuff I should be working on as well, in addition to prom nonsense. Homework, geting ready for AP tests, and graduation stuff. The chances of me having to give a speech are looking pretty high. Gah. Public speaking in front of lots of people. I promise that I won't read from Dr. Suess's Oh, The Places You'll Go, or whatever it's called. Sure, it's a good book. But I think I've heard at least a few lines out of it at every single graduation I've attended. So yes, I think I shall be trying to avoid that cliche... And probably fall prey to another one. *shrug* Such is life.