Ah. My mother is taunting me. The box from Swat is Ben's graduation present for me, and Tim apparently came up with a really cool idea for a gift. Yeah, my mom takes unholy glee in telling me just enough to get me intrigued and then clamming up. The big meanie.

In other news... Whoa. Folks, we have a world-class messy situation on our hands here. I wish I had some good advice to give, but I'm pretty clueless. *shakes head* Man...

There's a fairly large box sitting on my kitchen counter right now. It's addressed to my brother, who is still up at Williams right now. It's from the Swarthmore Bookstore.

I desperately want to know what's in it! I have zero patience, grrr...

Today was my last full day of high school. Now I have 3 days of finals, and then I'm done. And I only have 2 real finals (But neither should be difficult), in addition to finishing up my Problem Solving project... So basically, it's all over. It's pretty cool.

Also... I heard The Ataris on the radio. This makes me happy, just because it does. It's all about the little things.

Really odd event just happened a few minutes ago. I heard weird squeaking, and when my mom and I went into the kitchen to investigate, we found... A baby bunny. Apparently being followed by the fat cat Lucy, who was probably a bit confused. We've had mice before. They're small, they can get inside the walls and stuff. A rabbit however... No.

Current theory: We had the front door propped open so the animals (2 cats, 1 rabbit, 1 dog) could come and go as they pleased while my mom cut the grass. Maybe the little guy was scared and ran for the relative safety of the house. Or maybe Chip (our rabbit) decided to be a foster dad.

Yeah. Anyways, it was unusual.

I think I may have taken at least one of these before, but I can't remember. Worryrock posted them on Sketti, and what the heck, why not...




Saves the Day


What emo band are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Here's a quiz I found through Dan's Livejournal...

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

Tragedy struck today. Okay, maybe not.

The first thing you should know is that I have a stuffed rat (Don't give me that look! He's very fuzzy and cute.). His name is Paco (Paco the Packrat, haha). He usually sits on my bed, but I have a tendency to knock him off in my sleep. Which is how he ended up on the floor today, I guess. Anyways... I walked into my room after school, and he was sitting on the middle of my bed, which struck me as odd. I picked him up... And his tail was mutilated. I think the vacuum tried to eat it. It looks bad -- I think we're going to have to perform surgery, give him a replacement tail. Poor guy.

I finally got my pictures from Atlanta and California developed. I had a few pictures from Christmas on the first roll... That's just sad.

Go check out the new Sketti. It's very nice.

You are Cherry Garcia. Cherry Ice Cream with
Cherries & Fudge Flakes. The edible tribute to
guitarist Jerry Garcia & Grateful Dead fans
everywhere, it's the first ice cream named for
a rock legend.


Which of Ben and Jerry's Ice cream flavor are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

If I had gotten any result other than this, I would have been upset. As it is, all is right in the world. Except for the fact that my freezer is currently lacking Cherry Garcia... *curls up into fetal position*

In theory, I just spent about 3 hours working on my Problem Solving paper. Right. That explains why I have next to nothing done. Gah.

Nemesis is back. Yay.

I'm so flattered. He's returned to insult me! Hmm. He never did respond to my reply. How sad.

For some reason the survey post was saved but not published when I filled it out. That's why it says Wednesday but only appeared on Friday. My computer's just odd. But that's okay, I guess.

Taken from Jonathan/Claudia/Portia, who all got it from someone else (I just feel like doing it):

Last cigarette: Don't smoke.
Last car ride: Home from track practice.
Last kiss: After school in the parking lot. Yeah, I'm one of those annoying people who commits PDAs.
Last good cry: Umm... Hmm. I cried some last night, it was a decent cry. But full out good cry? Probably the night of the 10th.
Last book read: Currently reading The Things They Carried for class and Immortality for pleasure.
Last cuss word uttered: Not sure, most likely damn. Because I say that often.
Last beverage drank: Milk
Last food consumed: Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garica. Damn good stuff.
Last crush: My on-going love for the distance guys... Hah.
Last phone call: A telemarketer. She asked if my dad was Philip Roth the writer. It was odd.
Last tv show watched: Gilmore Girls
Last time showered: This evening, after my bike ride. Well, technically it was a bath. Actual shower: this morning.
Last shoes worn: My running shoes. New Balance.
Last cd played: Rooney, CD of the same name.
Last item bought: Food at lunch - pizza and a drink. Yummy.
Last downloaded: Uh... No idea.
Last annoyance: My mother's update on my grandma's health while I was otherwise occupied.
Last disappointment: Myself, for various reasons.
Last soda drank: Sprite, I think...
Last thing written: Random note of something to remember.
Last key used: My car key.
Last words spoken: "I'll be off in a bit" - to my mom about the computer.
Last sleep: Last night, from a little after midnight to about 5:15.
Last IM: John
Last sexual fantasy: I plead the 5th.
Last weird encounter: My friends in general.
Last ice cream eaten: See last food eaten.
Last time amused: Hmm. Today at practice, with the cane-ball fiasco.
Last time wanting to die: Ooh. Not sure. Not too recent. I'm happy right now. YAY!
Last time in love: Now, and now, and now... You get the idea.
Last time hugged: Um... Probably after school today.
Last time scolded: My mother. She really wants the computer.
Last time resentful: I think I'm always resentful in some way.
Last chair sat in: This lovely computer chair.
Last underwear worn: Boring, normal white. I'm plain.
Last shirt worn: Weezer t-shirt. "If it's too loud, turn it down."
Last time dancing: Maybe around me room, listening to music. Real dancing? Prom.
Last poster looked at: Uh, any of the many in my room, I suppose. Newsies, Poe, Weezer, Monet -- it was one of 'em.
Last show attended: If movies count, The Matrix: Reloaded. If they don't, my choir performance Sunday. Otherwise the spring play.
Last webpage visited: I attempted to visit Sketti. It was down.

Okay, giving the computer to my mother now...

Track season is officially over for me. *sniffle* It feels kind of odd, knowing that I now have the time period of 3 to 5 open again for such things as homework (or more likely naps and procrastination)... I'll miss parts of it, but I know my legs will be glad for some type of break, even though I'm determined to exercise on my own.

I'm attempting to scheme (well, merely brainstorm and perhaps plan, but scheming just sounds cooler), but I'm having little luck. My main hope for advice/suggestions had nothing. Gah. I will think of something. Just you wait. Grr.

Cancel just about everything in the last post. Refocus mild frustration, and then let everything else give way to renewed faith and a really pleasant "Damn, I'm happy" kind of feeling. Because damn, I'm happy right now... And it's the best kind of happiness, too. That mellow, relaxed, and quiet sort of happiness that happens when things are good and I feel loved and everything just feels right. It's rare but wonderful.

I'm not sure which is bothering me more: the fact that she apparently knows more about what he's done than I do (Which I will admit irks me more than slightly...) or what he's done (Which I don't know the full extent of... So it could be worse than I think or (hopefully) not as bad). Either way, I'm in a less than thrilled mood... Though I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do.

It's in the past, right? He knows it was stupid and he stopped, as far as I know... So why the hell is this still getting to me? Damn overly high standards. They'll be the death of me yet.

If you're trying to figure out my latest bout of cryptic angst... Don't. I think I'm over it. I'm feeling much better now. Yesterday started out really bad (Really, it is very unfair to have a horrible even occur before 8 am... I'm just not prepared to handle it that early), but improved from there.

Prom is tonight. Woo. I have to attempt to make myself look feminine and pretty. Hmm. It's a daunting task, especially when it comes to the hair. I don't care. I plan on having a good time, despite the fact that they will play very crappy music. Damn the crappy music. I can only here so much Nelly before my brain starts to writhe in pain. Unfortunately, that's about the time they decide to throw on that stupid cha-cha song, or whatever it is... The one that gives you instructions on how to dance to it and is too long and too annoying to be listened to. Then my brain just lapses into a coma and refuses to function until the song ends.
I'm considering bringing a copy of "Only in Dreams" or some such song and forcing them to play it. It would be cool; almost everyone but me would hate it, and I wouldn't really care. Then again, "Only in Dreams" is pretty long. Hmm. I wonder what else I could bring... Must figure this out. I demand at least one decent song to dance to. Just one. Is that asking too much?

I feel like I should be attacking this head-on, not side-stepping anything... But I don't know how to be direct about it, because I really don't know what the problem is. Something is just off. And there's also the fact that being sort of direct (in a "let's talk about this stuff" way) is what led to this in the first place. And well, it obviously didn't seem to do much, because I still feel about the same as I did Wednesday afternoon.

Gah!!!!!!!

This sucks. I hate the teen drama/angst factor that is so prevalent in my life at the moment. Like I said before, I'd much rather have the romantic comedy thing going on. But that's definately not what's happening.

This is it. I am forcing myself to pry my fingers off the keyboard, turn off the computer, and go upstairs. Jesus. This is pathetic... But also a rather good indication of just how much this is bothering me. Double gah.

I get the feeling that I'm on the verge of being overly analytical and perhaps a smidgen paranoid. Maybe somewhat defensive. Okay, maybe more than on the verge, more than perhaps, and more than somewhat. I don't know. It's all very odd. Emotion is taking reason, dragging it out back, and beating the shit out of it. It ain't pretty, folks.

The worst part? That I know I should just get over it and settle for what I was given (Given's not quite right... Offered? Recieved? Eh, none of that's right... What I have, the current situation, the unchangeable facts of reality....), but for some reason, I can't. It's just there, and its presence just makes everything magnified. Little things that would not bother me seem much bigger... And even as I acknowledge that I'm blowing things out of proportion, I continue to do it. So yeah. Reason is staggering away with a black eye and a bloodied nose, trying to muster all its strength to come out the victor... But I don't know what the outcome of the battle will be. Maybe something will come and break up the fight. That would be kinda of nice. I think my psyche needs security guards or bouncers or something like that. Some way to keep everything under control, make things run a bit more smoothly...

Okay. That was one odd extended metaphor/analogy/some such thing (My lit terms have fled my brain... Shoot)... I think I need some sleep.

This week has been interesting, for lack of a better term.

I feel better than I did before. But I'm still not exactly sure what to think, I don't really know what's going on to some extent. I don't know where I stand. I'm unsure, I'm uncertain, and it's driving me crazy. Well, not crazy, perhaps, but it is definately annoying and unsettling. Confound it.

Sometimes I wish life was like a movie. A romantic comedy, perhaps, maybe like 10 Things I Hate About You. Sure, the plot would be pretty bland, but in the end you'd feel all happy and good and everything would work out according to the obvious plan. The good guys win, the couple falls in love, etc, etc -- everything turns out well and is package in an appealing way. I guess I would get bored with it after awhile... But for a short time, it would be nice and simple.

You are Trinity. The most loyal follower of
Morpheus, you will risk anything to help him,
whether your crush Neo likes it or not.
You are strong-willed, and its always either your
way, or the highway.

"No? Let me tell you what I believe. I believe
Morpheus means more to me than he does to you.
I believe if you're really serious about saving
him, you are going to need my help. And since I
am the ranking officer on this ship, if you
don't like it, I believe you can go to hell.
Because you aren't going anywhere else."


What Character From The Matrix Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cool. I'm seeing the new movie tomorrow. Booyah.

Quizzy goodness:


You're Hobbes. First of all, the makers of this
quiz would like to congratulate you. You have
our seal of approval. You are kind,
intelligent, loving, and good-humoredly
practical. You're proud of who you are. At the
same time, you're tolerant of those who lack
your clearsightedness. You're always playful,
but never annoying. For these traits, you are
well-loved, and with good cause.


Which famous feline are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay!

AP tests are over. The chem exam merely harassed me (Damn you, short answer questions 5 and 6! Curse your ink and paper and your souless words!); it did not brutally maim me as I had feared. Psych was practically enjoyable after that.

I am happy and mellow and relaxed and all that other good stuff right now. I'm sure I'll be back to being stressed and sleep-deprived tomorrow, but for this one afternoon/evening, I am fine and dandy. After I got done with the psych exam, I came home and did nothing. I lounged about in the front yard, read some, napped some... But I did nothing "productive"... And I thoroughly enjoyed it. For the first time in a long while, I sat down and watched TV (Okay, that sounds really pathetic... Yes, the highlight of my day has been being a lazy couch potato... But dammit, I don't get to do that much). That led to my lovely discovery of the day: Gilmore Girls. I've never watched it before *ducks to evade possible projectile objects from Claudia's direction*, but I watched tonight and got hooked. The downside: I have barely any backstory on any of the characters (not a huge deal, but it would be nice), and I've missed what, 2 or 3 seasons? Still, it was an hour well spent.

So, all in all... Happiness.

Quizzes of boredom...

In ten years, you'll be an out-of-work English
major, living in someone's basement on black
coffee and cigarettes. Hey, don't feel bad,
this is how I'll probably end up too.


Where will you be in ten years?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmm. Yay. This comes as no surprise.


You like things quiet. You prefer to be alone.
Most weekends you can be found sitting alone in
your room, painting abstract pictures and
writing poetry. You don't have many friends,
and you like it that way. But lets face it,
you can't lock yourself away forever. Stop
being such a scrooge and get out!


What's your phobia?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, as an out-of-work English major, I should be able to avoid most human contact. Sweet. The future's looking brighter.

I'm going to get a one on the AP Chem test. I know nothing at all. I was working on a practice test, and it just sucked. Gah. $80, wasted. I want to take a nap; it's too late to save myself from failing. But I'll feel bad if I don't at least try to study. Damn being a perfectionist and actually caring about stuff like this. Damn everything.

I feel sort of bad. I know I should've emailed much sooner. Her last email has been sitting in my inbox for 9 days or so, and I didn't reply. Sorry Shpike. I'll try to be better about it, really I will.

I feel very distant right now. I haven't talked to anyone besides my parents today. It sucks. I'm craving some sort of connection with someone right now. I'd even settle for mindless small talk over ICQ at this point. But no one's on. And I'm off to bed soon. So there goes any chance at companionship for the day. I should have picked up the phone after dinner and tired to call someone, tried to go out and do something. I wanted to. But I didn't. Stupid me. I regret it now. I don't know why I didn't do it. Actually, I do know why. But it's a dumb reason, an assumption I made that, if it turns out was not true (though I'm willing to bet it was correct) will result in me kicking myself at least somewhat.

I think that I will go to bed now. Tomorrow will be another day of homework and a next-to-last-minute, frenzied attempt to stuff lots of chemistry knowledge in my brain. It will probably be boring. And I will most likely go another day without really talking to anyone. Curses. And then will come Monday, which will be a pizza-less night for me. That thought bugs me. Their presence makes me somewhat on edge. It makes me almost selfish. I don't think that I want to share. Because sometimes it seems like it's all that I got, and if I have to share, I get weekends like this, where one night is great and the rest of the time is just a sort of exile. The fact that I feel this way makes me feel pathetic; I think it upsets me just as much as the actually thing itself.

I don't know if any of this made any sense whatsoever. I don't think it did. I don't think I care. If anyone really gives a damn, feel free to ask for further explanation. I may or may not provide it.

Random quiz...


You're Alice.


Which Alice in Wonderland Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I like the picture, and the result is probably accurate, though disheartening.

I'm taking a break from studying psych. The AP exam is Tuesday. I'm sure I'll do fine, but I'm studying anyways. My AP chem test is also Tuesday. I should study for that, but I keep putting it off. I enjoy the class, and I have a good grade in it, but... I don't think I'm going to do well on the exam. Take away my notes and give me questions over everything I'm supposed to know, and I'm bound to flounder. I'm not sure why, but chemistry information just doesn't stick with me as well as say, English or psychology... Reason number "somewhere in the thousands, I've lost count" for why I'm majoring in English, perhaps double-majoring in psych.

The girls' track team set 4 school records at Western Big 6 yesterday, 2 of which were also meet records. Yay girls.

Anonymous insults... Because Nemesis is just too damn cool for everyone at Sketti, it appears. And yet he still continues to post. Makes perfect sense.

This makes me smile with devilish glee:


Mean lil fellow, arn't you?


What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was going to say it made me happy, but I've used that recently. I felt the need for some variety. And I also like smiling with devilish glee. It makes me happy...

Dammit. I resorted back to the "It makes me happy" line. Must stop that...

I want food. Where is my father? He's supposed to bring dinner home. It's past 8... I'm hungry. I refuse to start my homework until after dinner (No, there is no good reason why, other than I want to stay on the computer until then...). At this rate I'll start my homework at about 9. Rar. And I was hoping to get to bed at a decent hour, too. Gah. Dad, stop playing golf and come home. Good grief.

He's home. I can now consume food. Hallelujah.

We did speed work in track today... And I made it through all of it for the first time in at least a month. And it was fairly nasty, too. We did a pyramid: 100m, 200m, 300m, 400m, 400m, 300m, 300m, 200m, 200m, 100m, 100m. That's a grand total of 2600m of running. (Go my mad math skills!) One one hand, I'm very proud that I finished it and very glad that I survived. On the other hand, I hurt. If my legs could talk, they would be yelling the foulest of curse words at me. And I just know that tomorrow I'm going to feel extremely sore. But it's okay... Because I was going to hurt no matter what. At least this way I have the satisfaction of knowing I finished what I started.

Go check out Mama Cat's post about haiku error messages. I wish my computer did this... While the actual problems would still remain (read: my computer is a slow piece of junk), I would at least be inspired to curse my computer in a more eloquent manner.

I especially like this one:
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

And this one is also pretty nifty:
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

And people say poetry isn't fun.

I haven’t seen the new movie (and this guy isn’t in it anyways), but…


You are Beast!
You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

This makes me happy. Beast is cool, blue, and hangs upside down while reading books like Animal Farm. Nifty.

I enjoy Monday nights. They're rather entertaining. So I'm kinda sad that tonight was the last time I'd be going to pizza night for awhile. Okay, I know that this is a self-imposed exile. I could still go. But the various comments and such that still persist after 3 and a half months are annoying enough. I really don't feel the need to be exposed to a whole new group of guys who will make similar, oh-so-witty cracks... Therefore... No more pizza night for me.

The AP Lit exam was not as bad as I had feared. I am relatively confident that I did well on it. The remainder of the take home chem test... Well, that sucked. I didn't do any more work on it last night. I just did the whole thing after school. I went to Stew's room at around 2:40 or so, and managed to leave at 5:20. That's gotta be some sort of record for after-school help... I'll admit that I wasn't completely focused, though. There were a few other people there, and we were joking around quite a bit. So I might have gotten done sooner if it hadn't been for that... But it wouldn't have been half as entertaining.

I got on the computer half an hour ago to work on a close reading for Lit. I have not even started yet. Gah. Damn my lack of focus...

My brain is goo. It's bad. I have a 3 hour AP exam tomorrow morning. I have a take home chem test due tomorrow - it's not even half done. I will be staying after school tomorrow to work on it, I suppose. And I also have to find a poem for my Lit presentation... Which will probably entail a trip to the library at this point. Joy. So much stuff... And only a limited amount of time to do it in.

I was supposed to go back to work after spring break. Then it became the beginning of May. Now it's looking like after graduation. I just don't have the time. Time is of the essence... Gah.

I think it's about time for me to get some sleep.

Yay for Mama Cat and her take-charge attitude. I have been forced to at least think about prom and all that goes with it. The Long-Legged Furby thanks you, Mama.

For some reason I started playing my Incubus CD tonight... I haven't listened to it for awhile. But I'm glad I thought of it... I'm enjoying it.

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.

- Incubus, "I Miss You"

Pretty song. I like it.

I'm catching up on Mama Cat's blog... She's posted some interesting quizzes, so you know what that means...



What Anime Stereotype Are You?

"Get a personality!"? Ouch. I've just been dissed by a quiz result. That hurts.



What Anime Art Style Are You?

Graceful? But of *course*... That explains why I run into so many things.


You are the Low-Fidelity All-Star. You were born
with your cool, and it's totally natural. You
run the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they
can ingest as much coffee as you) to the geeky
hipster (Mario Kart, anyone?).


What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Mmm. Coffee...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Oooh! Looks like Denum was right on when he gave me that sheet that said "heretic" on it...

Okay, I really need to go work on homework now. Blech.

So the commenting system lives again. It seems that it is somewhat inconsistant. I don't care... As long as the times it works outweigh the times it doesn't, I can deal with it.

This weekend is homework weekend. I don't want it to be, but it seems I have little choice. I've read the poems for Lit and did the practice AP Psych test, but I still have a massive pile of chem homework, as well as a take home test... And then there's the AP Lit exam on Monday morning. *whimpers, curls up into fetal position* I miss those days when weekends meant little-to-no homework and plenty of time to do stuff with friends. *resigned sigh* But life goes on. And I have every intention of finishing out the school year on a high note.

In the spirit of reciprocity (and because they're cool people), I have added links to Bun-Bun's blog and Jonathan's site.

Something seems to be going wrong with the commenting system. It was fine earlier today, but now it seems to have vanished. I don't know what's going on. It upsets me. Rather than try to solve the problem, I think I'll hope it fixes itself (Hey, it worked with Blogger last night...) and go eat some ice cream and take a nap instead. Yep, I think that sounds like a plan.

Nevermind. It fixed itself, it seems. But I'm still going to bed.

Blogger, what are you doing to me? "Currently does not have a default page"? I don't like this...

*whimper*

If it hasn't fixed itself by tomorrow... Well, then I start to panic. But now I'll just go to bed.

Commenting system, I command you to work.

*waits a minute*

It worked!

Comment away!

So I signed up with SquawkBox. Let's see if this is going to work... Please work...

It's not working. Gah! What did I screw up?

I did not get to bed by midnight... I got to bed at 1 am. Joy.

Ffej is getting after me to add a commenting feature. So I'm going to see what I can do.

I still really dislike online chemistry quizzes. Thankfully the one I just finished is the last one of the year... I did not go out with a bang -- unless you considering doing atrociously going out with a bang...

It's 11:00 pm. My father just came in and told me to go to bed. I still have a poetry close reading to do. That's one whole page of single-spaced poetry analysis goodness. There is no way on earth I can go to bed. I'll be happy if I'm in bed by midnight. In order to achieve this goal, I need to get started.