Listening to The Beauty Pill... The Unsustainable Lifestyle is quickly becoming my current favorite album. It's good stuff, mellow at times, but with this sort of tension to it all the same. I don't know...

I feel like I'm not thinking straight at the moment. I feel very detached from myself, like my mind has removed myself from my body, and now they're both just kind of sitting there, like "Now what?"... I need to do work; I really, really need to do work. But it's easier to sit at the computer and keep checking my email even though I'm not actually expecting any messages, even though I need to write emails to other people.

I feel very blah. I lost another $5 playing poker last night. That means for the entire year I'm down about $10... It's really not that much, when you put it into the context of money spent for entertainment and such, but I don't like losing. And I've just kept on losing in poker for the past month or so. I think I'll stop playing for awhile. Next time people play, maybe I'll just watch. Be like the girls in a casino (or at least girls in movie casinos) that hang out by the guys, flirting and such. Or not.

I think I always write like this after I read Portia's blog. Even though I only met the girl once, and don't really know her at all, and don't really know who or what she's writing about, I still visit her blog every now and then just because of the way she writes. Clauds writes like that too, sometimes... It's just so amazing, so beautiful. Like music and poetry in the form of prose, losing the rhyme and rythm but still keeping the spirit of it all.