I am feeling better and worse at the same time. I don't really feel the need to cry right now (not as much anyways), but I am feeling kinda bitter. I feel like she's shut me out of her life... She doesn't even realize it. Lit class is hell, sitting next to her, being reminded every second that I apparently don't matter that much to her right now. She has other, newer, more exciting friends. Friends that I helped her start hanging out with. A new boyfriend. So I get ignored, get ripped apart verbally. They're jokes, sarcasm. But they hurt so damn much. I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental break-down. Back and forth I go, from sanity to madness. I'm having trouble coping with this. Even those that know what I'm going through right now and apparently care about me are subtly stepping around it, it seems. Asking me if I'm okay, but never really trying to figure it out or make it better.

I slept today, when I got home from play practice. It was wonderful. I could have slept straight through dinner, through this evening, through the night, and woken up in the morning. Sleep is such a wonderful release. Sometimes I wish I could sleep forever.