Ah, library patrons. What wacky hijinks will you come up with next?

Today I spent a good five minutes on the phone with a patron, debating his late fees. Our system usually sends out courtesy notices via email to remind people that they're books are due soon, but the emails have been unreliable since our switch to the new system this summer. Because of this, this patron didn't receive a notice, and he didn't receive an overdue notice until 2 weeks after the books were due. I was arguing that while the courtesy notices are lovely things, they are a COURTESY, and you're still responsible for knowing when your books are due (it's stamped in the back!) and renewing/returning them on time. He wasn't having it. I gave up and transferred him to my supervisor. I think the patron finally won, but geez. Mind you, this was over $6 in fines. Not a minuscule amount, but really not that much, either. I wonder how he would have acted if it had been $20 or more.

The other excitement of the day came while I was sorting books for reshelving. I noticed a slip of paper in a book, so I pulled it out. (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: please remove all bookmarks, sticky notes, labels, paperclips, etc. from books before you return them. They can cause damage to the books when left inside for long periods of time.) But this was no ordinary piece of scrap paper. It was a check. A signed check, no less. Date and amount filled out, but not the recipient. If I had far fewer scruples, I could have added a nice chunk of change to my bank account.

Psychosocial evaluations are weird. A lot of the questions are pretty basic background information, but then there's the part where you have to quantify how bad you feel. How often do you feel tired? How often do you feel like hurting yourself? How often do you lack interest in activities? Some of these are easy enough to answer (How often do I feel tired? ALWAYS. Wait, scratch that - 90% of the time. There are occasional bouts of energy). Other ones are harder, especially because they don't really give you a guideline of how to phrase your answer - x times a day, a week, whatever? x% of the time? I went with percentages and kind of felt like I was just making numbers up. I don't know exactly how often I feel bad; I just know that it's more often than I feel good.

As of around 11 pm EST last night, the United States had a new President-Elect: Barack Obama. This makes me very, very happy. (Though I do admit that my glee was somewhat lessened by my cat's decision to celebrate by puking.) Red states went blue, voter turnout was great, history was made!

More good news: the various anti-choice state propositions and measures were voted down. The bad news: the various anti-gay state propositions and measures were passed. A nice succinct summary of the various propositions can be found at Feministing.

It's so weird that a single election can represent great hope and progress, yet also reflect such inequality and close-mindedness. I wish we could do away with state-sanctioned marriages in general. Just make everything civil unions; reserve the term 'marriage' for the religious rite and leave its definition up to the churches, synagogues, mosques, covens, etc. Separation of church and state: it's good for all involved.

Blergh. It has been a long week. Yes, it is only Monday, but since I didn't really have a weekend, I feel like last week never ended.

Fun and exciting things that have happened in the past 7 or so days: I did not do the homework I was supposed to do, my grandmother died, I discovered some of my clothes no longer fit, I flew home for the funeral, I saw about 100 McCain signs in the country (and 3 Obama ones), my flight back to New York was cancelled and I had to fly on a different, later one to a less convenient airport, my cat puked on my bed in the wee hours of the morning, the construction in the building was really loud and actually knocked some stuff off the bathroom shelves and into the toilet, I had an eye exam, they broke the nosepiece of my glasses while trying to replace the pad bit, I still have not finished my homework, and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

I'm going to go eat cheesecake for dinner now.

I should be in class right now. I'm not.

There are a few reasons for this. One is that my homework isn't done. I got the arts-and-crafts type bit done with no problem. (Drawing and coloring is very soothing. I should do it more often. That and yoga.) As for the rest... well, my concentration and focus failed me, partially due to a killer headache. This leads to reason number two - I feel like shit. Physically, I have a cold or something along those lines. So I am very tired and sniffly and headachy. Good times! But really, the cold isn't the worst of it. The problem is that I feel like shit mentally and emotionally.

I made a promise to myself a few months ago. I would take care of myself, find a doctor, get my medication adjusted. I haven't. Not even close.

I've made half-hearted attempts to find a shrink, but I got frustrated quickly. Trying to find someone covered by my insurance, someone who is taking new patients, someone who answers their phone or at least returns messages... So far, no real luck. (Bonus! While I was typing this up I got a return call. It started off okay, until I said that I was mostly looking for medication management. I know me - if the pills are right, I'm generally pretty good. But all her med management spots are filled. So once again, I'm screwed. Yay!)

At this point, my meds have almost run out. I feel guilty about this, because I really should not have let it get to this point. For heaven's sake, I've been dealing with this for about eight or nine years now. I should know better than to wait until the last minute.

But when I'm feeling okay, I don't really think about it. And when I'm feeling bad - well, then I don't really want to deal with it, because I'd rather be curled up in bed or distracting myself with hours of crime shows than making phone call after phone call. I procrastinate with everything, why should my own health be any different? Of course, there's the fact that it's my health and well-being, but clearly that's not enough motivation.

The truth is that I'm tired. I'm tired of trying, caring, worrying, and working. I'm tired of being a responsible adult. I'm tired of feeling stressed, feeling isolated, feeling alone, feeling out of place. I'm tired of crying, of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. I'm tired of being tired.

Forgot!
by Stevie Smith

There is a fearful solitude
Within the careless multitude,
And in the open country too,

He mused, and then it seemed to him
The solitude lay all within;
He longed for some interior din:

Some echo from the worldly rout,
To indicated a common lot,
Some charge that he might be about,
But oh he felt that he was quite forgot.

I hate a lot of things when I have a headache. And right now I have a headache. So I hate the homework I'm working on, I hate the noises coming from upstairs, but most of all I hate the cellphone conversations. People aren't allowed to use their phones inside the library, so they stand just outside the door by the elevators and talk there. Sometimes they talk at length, which is how I learned much more than I ever wanted to know about one guy's evil landlady and the troubles he was having getting his security deposit back. This one girl has been out there for a good 15 minutes or so, and I can hear just enough to be annoyed. Her voice is grating on my last nerve, and I don't even get the minor pleasure of learning random useless factoids about her life, as she's speaking in French (I think - I could be wrong). Grar.

Oh. She's done now. Thank heavens. I'll just go back to hating my homework, then. Maybe I'll go get some Advil.

I'm sick, and I have been for a while now. I don't know what it is. Allergies? Maybe, but my eyes aren't itchy and I am not sneezing much, so I doubt it. Flu? Probably not, since I don't have a fever. Cold? This is the likely culprit, but why is it lasting for so damn long? Seriously, this is at least week 2 of this. And I am tired of it.

Admittedly, the cold-thing has been evolving and changing all this time. It started with a non-stop runny nose, then everything became congested and stuffy, then all the mucus moved into my chest, and now it seems to be split between the chest and nose. I've been doing a decent amount of nose-blowing and sniffing, though at least it's no longer all the time. And since I got some Robitussin, my cough has been mostly under control. (Though I forgot to bring it with me to work on Tuesday night, which led me to coughing so hard that I threw up. Fun!)

Maybe the problem is that I'm continually exposed to germs. I work in a library, so I'm constantly touching books and things that have been touched by tons of other people. And I haven't had a real weekend for a a few months (1.5 days off does NOT count as a real weekend in my book, especially when much of it is spent cleaning or doing homework), so I'm tired and worn down, so my immune system probably isn't at its best. To be honest, I don't really remember the last time I wasn't tired or didn't have at least a bit of a runny nose. And that's worrisome. I want to be healthy, dammit!

Oh so exciting discovery - seems they got rid of AppleWorks. I have TextEdit and that's all. I refuse to buy Word, because I don't like it, and it costs too much for how little I actually use it. Looks like I'm going to be downloading OpenOffice.

Erg. In my efforts to try to transfer my iCal stuff from my iPod to the new MacBook, I ended up erasing the stuff on the iPod instead. So if I ever jotted down a note about when your birthday is? Yeah, it's probably gone now. Sorry.

My iBook died last night. It froze up and the trackpad stopped responding. I restarted. It made all the right noises, but the screen didn't light up. I turned it off, tried again. No good. Today I took it to a repair place. The verdict? The logic board, the brain of the computer, had died. My hard drive is fine and can be salvaged, which I'll look into soonish. But the computer is unusable without the logic board. Replacing it would cost somewhere around $700 - not worth it since the computer was 4 or so years old. So I went to the Apple store and picked up a shiny new MacBook. It's lovely, but it doesn't feel like mine yet. Right now I'm transferring music and some other stuff from my external hard drive, trying to get the settings just so, etc. And the computer is similar to what I had, but it's different enough that not all the shortcuts and habits that I had will work. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but for right now, I miss Athena.

Tonight was a TV night. Some Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune on in the background while doing dishes and eating dinner, and then the 2 hour premiere of American's Next Top Model. This season features Isis, a MtF transgendered woman, and she's amazing. She was sought out by Tyra and co. after being one of the background models in the homeless shoot last season. Homeless woman becomes model? Good TV fodder. Transgendered homeless woman becomes model? Wow. But Tyra and the show's judges and producers are dealing with the issue in a pretty respectful and cool way, as are many of the contestants. Some of the other contestants? Not so much. Grr. But Isis took great photos and wowed the judges (2 of whom didn't know she was trans until the panel discussion) and got called second, so she she'll be sticking around for a bit, yay!

And then we switched over to the Republican National Convention. Why? I don't know. First up: Rudy Giuliani, with one of the most mean-spirited and condescending political speeches I have ever heard. Seriously, my jaw dropped at the way he said "community organizer." The level of cruel mockery in that speech was appalling. It was followed up with Sarah Palin's speech, a horribly bland thing that spent way too much time talking about her family. Yes, family is important. Yes, you are a mother. (Side note: Piper Palin is frigging adorable, and the camera caught her licking her hand and then slicking down her baby brother's hair. Hilarious.) But come on. When people are questioning your experience and ability, is it really a good plan to spend about half the speech focusing on your family? Mention them and move on. Of course, while I was bored with the family talk, I got grumpy when she talked about politics, so maybe I'm just hard to please. Or just too liberal to listen to that crap without my blood pressure rising significantly.

Oh, and one last political note: I am now registered to vote in the state of New York. Twice. That's right, the state of New York essentially committed voter fraud for me and sent me two different voter registration cards. Exact same info on both except the serial number. I tried to call them and straighten it out today, but I couldn't get through to a an actual person. I guess I'll have to go to their office next week. Fun times!

It's possible I'm drunk (okay, it's certain I'm at least a bit tipsy), and it's true that I was already a little bummed out today. But neither of those fully explain why a few minutes ago I was bawling in front of the TV during the introductory video to Hillary Clinton's DNC speech. On this day in 1920, the 19th Amendment was put in effect, giving women the right to vote. 88 years later, we have 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling. But the ceiling is still there. Hopefully it won't take another 88 years to finally smash it.

Dear 20th Century Fox: I hate you.

What is this crap about suing Warner Brothers over Watchmen? More specifically, what the hell is with this: "Surprisingly, Fox said it would rather see the film killed instead of collecting a percentage of the box office." Seriously? Do you want to have the fans screaming for your heads?

Do you think you can make a better movie? Because I highly doubt it. Have you seen the trailer? It's fantastic. Visually, it's stunning. It looks like the graphic novel come to life. I'm not sure who thought to cast Jeffery Dean Morgan (aka Denny Duquette on Grey's Anatomy) as the Comedian; I associate him with rom-com type shit, but I'll be damned if he doesn't at least look the part. The casting look great, especially when you consider some of the earlier casting suggestions (Robin Williams as Rorschah? Richard Gere or Kevin Costner for Nite Owl? WTF?). The Smashing Pumpkins's song is perfect too. I love the trailer. I just finished the book, and I'm anxiously awaiting March so I can see the movie.

Don't ruin this for me, Fox. You already pissed me off with some of the stuff you did to the X-Men movies, and while I enjoyed From Hell, it was nothing like the graphic novel. I haven't read The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, so I can't compare it with the movie version, but the movie wasn't that great. Just step away from Alan Moore's work. Take your cut from WB, but for heaven's sake, let this movie be released. I need it for my soul.

Oh, and Warner Brothers? If for some reason you've attempted to water down Watchmen to get a PG-13 rating, I will find those responsible and kick them in the shins.

I mentioned in an earlier post that many of my favorite Jez commenters have started their own blogs. You can find most of them listed over in the sidebar, but I thought I'd highlight some of them, starting with the fashion blogs.

geometricsleep.
Laia reviews fashion shows, posts pictures of things she likes (and things she hates), and showcases some of her own fashion choices. She is much cooler and way more daring with her style than I'll ever be; the site serves as a nice reminder to take some risks once in a while. The site has also been featured on elle.com.

Fit for a Femme
Skinny Bone Jones chronicles her outfits and occasionally shows off her tomboy. This site is wonderful, and Jonesy tells you what the items are and where she got them in addition to posting photos. At some point I should go through the archives and compile a list of designers/brands/shops to check out, but I'd probably end up spending too much money. Besides, I could never look as fabulous as SBJ; I certainly can't compete with her shiny, shiny hair.

Nadarine: I'm not drunk, I'm brilliant.
Nadarine writes about more than fashion stuff, but she often posts photos of her awesome outfits, so it definitely needs to be on this list. I want to steal many of her dresses as well as her vintage Mary Janes.

All of the the ladies listed above have inspired me to step up my fashion game a bit. They make it look so easy! Of course, since I was stuck in a jeans and t-shirt rut, there wasn't really anywhere to go but up. But still. Today I'm wearing a dress and gladiator sandals. Sandals that aren't flip flops! Will wonders never cease?

Perhaps a bit more practical than inspirational is Frugal Kitten, who finds and shares deals. She hasn't been posting much recently, perhaps because it's not always easy to find cheap but nice clothes and accessories. Or maybe she's just busy at the moment. Either way, hopefully she'll be back in full force sometime soon.

It's Olympics time. I've been watching some of it, at least when my television lets me. (Seriously, it's a matter of if the TV is cooperating or not. My reception of NBC is fairly crappy - if you cross your legs with the right leg on top, it might be crystal clear; left leg on top, nothing but static; uncrossed legs, picture but no sound. It's highly unpredictable.)

So far I've managed to catch some men's gymnastics, a bit of beach volleyball and women's gymnastics, and some swimming. I don't really care about volleyball, and the women's gymnastics always creeps me out a tiny bit, though I do think it's awesome that there's a 30-something year old woman on the German team. Men's gymnastics is insanely impressive, especially the rings, high bar, and parallel bars. I also love the pommel horse - I'm curious if any of these guys have tried break-dancing before; some of the routines would translate pretty well, I think.

Swimming I find less interesting, mostly because all you can really see is a bunch of splashing. Enter technology. They have the World Record line projected onto the screen during some races; it's this green line that moves along the pool showing the WR speed. Usually people are a bit behind it; sometimes their hand is a bit ahead of it and they narrowly beat it. Or in the case of the men's 4x100 freestyle relay last night, half of the pool is keeping up with the line and a couple of people are a full body length ahead of it. It was insane. The US's B team beat the record in the semi-final; the A team obliterated it in the finals. It seems a record is broken in every swimming event - I watched a heat of the women's 400m freestyle semi-finals; Katie Hoff from the US beat the Olympic record that had been in place for about 20 years. The very next heat an Italian woman beats this new record. Craziness.

I got back from my week-long trip to my parents' yesterday, and I took today off work to regroup. Vacations are never as relaxing as you want them to be. I went to a wedding, caught up with a friend, visited family, did some shopping, and went to the zoo. Oh, and I got sick. That part was especially fun.

In some ways today was more relaxing than the rest of the week had been. I'm feeling a bit better (though still not great - curse you, runny nose!) and got to sleep in a bit. I also went to the DMV. Not relaxing, definitely time-consuming, but also happily uneventful. I now have my interim NY state driver's license and have filled out my voter registration form. The rest of the day was spent lazing about, napping, and watching some Buffy. I'm re-watching the series (when it was on TV, I watched until they went to college) and I'm on season 2 now. This means Spike and Oz, yay!

In unrelated news, the weather needs to stop thwarting me. Specifically the clouds. The temperature is great right now (so nice after the horrible heat of the Midwest!), but it started to pour just as I got off the subway at Coney Island today. I went to a tiny bit of effort to look decent for my ID photo, and then I got drenched. *shakes fist at sky* Hopefully I won't look too much like a drowned rat in the picture - waiting in line allowed me to dry off somewhat, at least. When I left the DMV the weather was lovely again, so when I got home I decided to sit out on the fire escape and get a bit of sun. Cue dark clouds and yet another downpour. At least the second time I made it indoors before the rain. And tomorrow is supposed to be nice, so maybe I'll go out and head over to the park at some point. Don't thwart me again, clouds. I need the exercise.

Amazon will be selling a special collector's edition of J.K. Rowling's The Tales of Beedle the Bard, and it looks AMAZING.

I hate writing papers. You would think that as an English major in college I would have found an approach that works for me, but no. Unless procrastinating and writing at a rate of about a paragraph an hour counts as a valid approach. It certainly doesn't count as a good approach. It's like pulling teeth. Write a bit, distract myself until the pain eases up, write a bit more.

I don't mind the research and outline portions of papers -- in fact, I usually enjoy those. As long as I'm at least slightly interested in a topic, I'm happy to seek out articles, essays, etc. and skim them. Taking information from those and coming up with a rough outline usually isn't too bad either. It's just taking everything and pulling it together into a coherent lengthy paper that I have trouble with. By the time I sit down to write, I've generally thought about the topic so much that I'm tired of it. I just don't care anymore. This is one of the reasons I'm going to become a librarian. I'll just need to find information and resources; it'll be up to other people to take those things and create a paper from them.

Of course, right now I'm in library school, and guess what? I have to write papers. Currently I'm working on writing a research proposal, a mockup of something that could conceivably be published if I actually performed the study, sent out the survey, etc. I'm interested in my topic/question (How have advances in technology and digitization impacted artists' book collections?) but as usual, the paper-writing process is brutal. (Note to self: try to avoid jobs that want me to actually publish things. An academic librarianship with faculty standing is probably not in my future.)

On the plus side, I'm learning some interesting things, such as the names of places that have collections of artists' books. Did you know that Yale's Arts Library has an Arts of the Book collection? It does! This is from their website: "The Arts of the Book Collection (AOB) / Arts Library Special Collections Reading Room is a research facility housed in the Sterling Memorial Library. Wooden bookshelves with decorative carvings hold the collection, which contains both examples of and reference materials about the arts related to the book. Topics such as binding, book history, illustration, calligraphy, graphic design, paper making and decorative papers, typography and more are represented. Contemporary examples of artists' books and fine printing are housed alongside more traditional publications." Someone please give me a job here when I graduate, okay?

Sadly, in order to graduate and be qualified for a job at a place like that, I really need to finish this paper. Curses. Back to work I go.

I am, by and large, a creature of habit. I don't like being daring. I am hesitant to try new foods. I like finding a routine that works for me and sticking with it. This is true for hygiene/beauty products as well. I've pretty much stuck with 2 lotion scents for the past 5 or 6 years. Unless I have a strong desire for burgundy, blue, or black nails, I general paint my toenails silver.

The drugstores, however, seem to be conspiring against me. It started with the body wash. I have tried many over the years, but some time in college I settled on Caress's Berry Indulging. Then I couldn't find it anywhere. So I switched to something else. Next time I ran out, I couldn't find that one, either. Last time I got St. Ives Vanilla; I ran out recently and haven't been able to find any, so I've gone back to an Oil of Olay body wash I've used before. It's annoying, because I can have some trouble finding a scent that I like, but it's not the end of the world.

The real catastrophe? The apparent disappearance of my favorite shampoo. I occasionally use anti-dandruff or clarifying shampoos, but the bottle that has always been there for me is good old Suave Strawberry Shampoo. More recently it's been Suave Fresh Mountain Strawberry, but it's basically the same. I spent lunch today attempting to track down a bottle. I visited 3 different drugstores with absolutely no luck. They have Suave Green Apple and VO5 Strawberries & Cream, but no Suave Strawberry. This is a problem. I cannot bring myself to buy a different shampoo. The scent is part of my shower experience, and I refuse to part with it.

Thankfully, I don't think the scent has been discontinued; a quick Google shopping search yields plenty of results. Of course, I'd feel a bit absurd buying cheap shampoo online, so I'm going to try to see if I can find any while I'm visiting my parents. But if that fails, I'm probably going to cave. I need that sweet strawberry smell, and buythecase.net is selling a case of 6 bottles for $15.42.

Information you will hopefully never verify for yourself: If you drink a large glass of apple juice and end up throwing up soon afterwards, the vomit will in fact taste/smell vaguely of apples. This does not make the experience any more pleasant.

Related: Does anyone know if preserves (standard store-bought strawberry preserves) go bad? The jar was refrigerated, it wasn't that old (certainly wasn't past the expiration date), but it may be responsible for my unhappy stomach.

I'm redoing the layout and look of this site, and it'll probably be changing a lot until I find something I'm happy with. I'm also thinking I'll switch from my current commenting system to the built-in Blogger comments (which didn't exist when I started this site in 2003!), so old comments will disappear, unfortunately. But the archives will reappear, so if you have a craving for high school and college angst, you'll be able to get your fill. Yay?

There's been a bit of a kerfluffle over at Jezebel, a site that has been very near and dear to me this past year. In many ways it's a complicated bit of internet politics and grudges, but this Salon article sums up many aspects of the recent shit-storm pretty well.

A lot of the "old guard" commenters have been leaving (or getting banned), and the quality of the comments has been changing for the past few months. I used to read all the comments on certain posts, but lately I can't get through many unless the subject is very important to me. (I did skim all 1000+ comments of a recent post discussing Moe and Tracie's appearance on Thinking and Drinking, but this is because a) I'm insane and b) I was working the evening shift and didn't have much to do.)

Jezebel got me through some rough periods this year - feeling lonely and friendless in NYC, a heart-wrenching breakup, bouts of renewed depression. And for that, I am grateful to it and for it. I met some great people because of it, and I'm hoping I'll stay friends with many of them. Some of them have their own wonderful blogs, and I'm turning to them to feel the procrastination void.

I'm not going to abandon Jezebel completely - there's still some great posts on it. I strongly recommend reading things posted by Megan C and Dodai, and some of the other contributers are good too. The "Fine Lines" feature on Fridays is great. But I'm going to pare down my 'friends' list, maybe use it to track great commenters so I can read their stuff without having to wade through the rest. I'm going to try not to get emotionally invested. It's draining and time-consuming, and the costs aren't worth the benefits anymore.

In some ways, I guess I'm just fickle. I'll get devoted to or obsessed with something - a band, a website, a comic strip - and then I'll get burned out and just stop. The best of the bunch manage to renew my interest; these are the things I stick with. We'll see if Jezebel manages to make the cut.

More informative tidbits about life in New York:

1. The times you desperately want to sit on the subway because you're dead on your feet are inevitably the times that you can't find a seat. Sometimes the world will taunt you with half a seat, someplace where you could rest if only that guy would close his legs and that woman would put her purse on her lap.

2. New York is a big place, but once you've settled into a routine, it doesn't feel that way. At some point, the coffee guy will start to make your coffee (just the way you like it) even before you've finished saying good morning.

My archives seem to have disappeared, which is a bit frustrating. Sure, they're filled with high school emo-ness, but they're mine, dammit! I don't think I accidentally deleted any important code when changing the list o' links, so I'm not sure what's up.

I've lived in New York City for a little over a year now, and I've learned a few things.

1. Do not make eye contact with anyone holding a clipboard on the sidewalk. If you do so accidentally, break it quickly and keep walking. The clipboard people general support good causes (Greenpeace, the Democratic party, gay rights, etc), which makes the guilt that much harder to deal with if you actually engage with them.

2. I apparently send out vibes of friendly direction-givingness, at least when I'm near Washington Square Park. I get asked for directions all the time, even when I'm wearing headphones. The lost souls will let half a dozen people go past and single me out. I think I've only (accidentally, I swear) misdirected a few of them.

3. Mixed drinks are more expensive here, but they're also stronger. I don't know why, really, but just know that your usual limit is not a good gauge of how much you can drink. Trust me. If you end up ignoring these words and smashing your forehead into a window that is closer than it appears, well, that's your own fault.

4. Speaking of deceptive windows: do not lean in closer to examine those pretty decorative eggs or whatever is on display in that gallery. It will only bring about embarrassment and pain. Again, just trust me on this one.

I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay to spend money.

There are certain areas where I have no problem with it, mostly when it comes to buying books. I've started buying CDs again, though I'm trying to get used stuff when I can. I even bought some new video games a couple of weeks ago. Where I have trouble is when it comes to buying clothes. I have to talk myself into spending more than about $20 on a single item. I'll stand in the dressing room, going through what I could wear it with, question if I actually need it, looking for fitting problems that will make me put it back on the rack.

This wasn't a problem when I was younger, probably because I was using my parents' money. Actually, that's not quite true, since this problem first manifested while they were still paying my bills. I guess after going through my closet so many times, after getting rid of so many barely worn clothes, I started to feel guilty. I started to analyze my purchases more, to reconsider things.

In many ways, this is a good thing. Most of the clothes that I have now are items I wear on a fairly regular basis, except for the fancier dresses and such. (On that note - someone, please invite me to a swanky cocktail party. I have the dress, but no place to wear it.) However, I'm also in a bit of a rut. I'm afraid to count and see how many grey and black t-shirts I have. I'm trying to branch out slowly - for instance, I've gotten a few shirts that are a bit nicer and aren't grey, black, or navy. But each purchase is a battle for me, especially if it involves colors. Will I actually wear a purple blouson tee? (Answer: Yes. But hesitantly.) Will I wear something with ruffles or flounces? (Answer: So far, no.)

The battle becomes much more involved when the price increases. It's not like I'm shopping in designer boutiques or anything, either. (Confession: I am terrified of going into nice, non-chain clothing stores. I stare at the windows wistfully and then flee.) I'm talking about J. Crew or Banana Republic. And it's not like I'm buying trendy things that can only be worn for a season. The black eyelet a-line skirt I wore today? I think I've had it since 8th or 9th grade. I like simple, classic stuff.

In theory, this sort of clothing is what one SHOULD spend a bit more money on. They're the wardrobe staples, the investment pieces. But I have so much trouble doing it. I'm an adult now. (Supposedly). While I can get away with wearing jeans and a t-shirt to work every day, I feel like I should be stepping it up a notch. I want to dress nicer. I pet soft sweaters, sigh over lovely pinstriped skirts. But as soon as I see the price tag, I freak out a little.

Today I made progress. I went to J. Crew to look at a dress that was on sale online. They didn't have it, but I tried on some other stuff, including a dark grey knit dress and a navy blue a-line skirt, which I bought. Of course, I'm still not 100% convinced that I should have bought them. That's why the tags are still on them. If they past the roommate test, they'll get moved into the closet. Then I'll force myself to wear them. And I'll continue my baby steps toward dressing more like an adult. Admittedly, these steps are being taken in cheap flip-flops, but that's an issue to deal with another day.

All the fluff/down in my comforter has shifted to the bottom, so in an effort to redistribute it, I decided to hang it and another blanket over the fire escape this weekend. For awhile, it was fine. It was a little windy, so I sat out there with it, keeping it anchored. Then I decided to check my email, so I crawled back into the apartment. Just then, a big gust of wind came and grabbed the blankets. One fell on the ground 3 floors down; the comforter got caught on a bush.

So I got to climb down the fire escape and retrieve the blankets. This led to a few discoveries: 1) The fire escape ladder is HEAVY. God forbid there's ever a fire in my apartment that prevents me from going out the front door. 2) Once you're in the 'back yard' of the building, there's no easy way out, at least not that I could see. I got my blankets and stood in the yard, looking for a way out. The only option, it seemed, was to climb back up the fire escape - a tricky feat when laden with a 2 double-bed blankets.

"Do you need help?" I squinted and looked up. It was two of my downstairs neighbors; the little boys that helped me and my roommate move in. One of them climbed out the window. After I explained the situation, he climbed halfway down the ladder, and I handed him one blanket, and then the other. Then I climbed up and, with the help of the boy, pulled the super-heavy escape ladder up. Thanking the boy profusely, I took my blankets back upstairs, shook them out, and took them inside.

My new effort to redistribute the down involves flipping the comforter over. It means that I have a tag in my face while I sleep, but it's a hell of a lot easier than doing battle with the ladder again. Also, I think I'll be looking into clothes pins for any future airing attempts.

It's spring cleaning time! I've closed/deleted my Hotmail accounts, finally. I kept forgetting to check them every 30 days, so I lost all of the emails I had been saving anyway, which was sad. I also got rid of Friendster, since I never used that, and I think I'm going to take down my personal website as well - it hasn't been updated in 4 years or so, I've lost interest in it, and there's not too much there anyway. I'm not sure if I have the originals of those files anymore, though, so I probably want to try to copy things before I remove them for good. At some point I may even update the various links that I have here - try to actually reflect what sites I'm interested in now.

I should probably do some physical spring cleaning to the apartment too, instead of concentrating on the online stuff...

My hair this morning:


My hair now:


This is probably the most dramatic haircut I've gotten since 4th grade, when I went from hair down to my waist to shoulder-length.

It's been ages since I've posted. Life is fairly good,and I start my MSLIS classes next week. MSLIS = Master of Science in Library and Information Science. And it'll be an MSLIS with a concentration in Rare Books and Special Collections, so maybe I should make it MSLIS:RBSC, or something. Whee.

The real reason for this post, however: shiny things!

1. I am now the proud owner of the beautiful Heavy Red red and black brocade Victorian corset, an item that I have drooled over for at least a year. It was on clearance (I may have gotten the very last one - it's no longer available), it was in my size, so I bought it. Practical? No. Amazingly gorgeous? Yes!

2. Apple is ridiculous. To be more precise, the MacBook Air is ridiculous. Between 0.16 and 0.76 inch thin? 3 pounds? Craziness. I do, however, want the Time Capsule. Automatic wireless backup AND a Wi-Fi base station? Too cool. But I don't have the right operating system, and I already have an external hard drive and a wireless router - so it's completely unnecessary. But damn cool anyway.

After more than 3 months, I have finally found a decent replacement for the science center coffee bar. Or to be more accurate, for their mocha smoothies. Au Bon Pain has an okay mocha drink, but it's the wrong consistency. The guy with the cart in front of work has good, cheap coffee - both regular and iced - but it's not the same. But today on my way in to work, I walked down 3rd instead of 4th, craving caffeine, and a little shop caught my eye. I don't remember what it's called, but I'm sure I'll be able to find it again. First big plus: cranberry orange muffins. Second plus: iced mocha. I ordered it thinking it would be like most regular iced coffee, but no, this was blended smoothie style, just like the ones from the science center. Heavenly. One wouldn't think that finding a replacement for Swat's mocha smoothies would have been very important, but you have to keep in mind that they were what got me through junior year. I cut back a bit senior spring, but still - they were my go-to caffeine fix. This new replacement is missing the whipped cream option, and they're too expensive to get all the time, but still, at least the cravings can now be satisfied. Yum. :)

The process of applying to library school has officially begun - I filled out a request for an application. So now I need to get my rec letters together, update my resume, and write my personal statement. Whee.

In other news, I've been spending a lot of time with a cute, geeky Australian boy. My cat Schrodinger has been extra cuddly and affectionate, which is nice. The weather has been lovely. And, as always, I'm tired. I suppose you can't have it all, right?

Right, so it's been awhile. I'm still alive and actually doing rather well. I have managed to successfully find an apartment, graduate from college, move to Brooklyn, start work, and get a cat. I've just completed my 3 month probation period at work, so now I have insurance. Basically I've spent the past 3 months enjoying my new low-stress lifestyle. Free time! Reading for pleasure! No homework! There's rent and bills to pay, of course, but thus far it hasn't been too bad.

However, I plan on adding new stressors in the coming months -- I'm hoping to start classes for a master's in library science in the spring, and then in the fall I want to add classes for another master's, this one in costume studies. (Not costume design - it's more the history and culture of clothes than how to create costumes for theatre - info on the program can be found here.) In about 4 or 5 years I'll hopefully have completed both programs and will be able to get a job at a fantastic place like the Met's Costume Library.

All of this means, of course, that I'll probably be living in New York for longer than my originally-intended 2 or 3 years. But as long as I'm not living in Manhattan itself, I'm fine with that. My neighborhood is pretty quiet and safe, there are plenty of parks scattered throughout the city, and there's lots to do (when I can motivate myself to do anything other than loaf, of course). I was worried that I'd hate it here, but it's grown on me rather quickly.

Interestingly, one of the things I miss most about Swat (besides, of course, the people and the wonderfully strange conversations) are the plants. The city has lots of parks, but they're mostly patchy grass and trees as opposed to the lush greenery of the arboretum. It strikes me most whenever I walk by this flower shop near work - if I breathe in deeply, it reminds me of being in one of the gardens. A weird bit of nostalgia, I suppose. It's somewhat balanced by the joy of being in a state with sensible liquor laws - it's just so nice to be able to grab a bottle of wine or some cider at the grocery store, though it's certainly not as entertaining as an expedition to Delaware. :)

I have a job! Starting on June 11th, I'll be working at the library of NYU's Courant Institute. Now I just need to find an apartment... Well, that and graduate, but there's not much more I can do about that - all of my work is done and handed in.

My very last radio show playlist ever...

The Walkmen - The Rat
Cat Power - He War
Beulah - Silver Lining
Yo La Tengo - Sugarcube
TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun
The Postal Service - Nothing Better
Bloc Party - Banquet
Sleater-Kinney - You’re No Rock n’ Roll Fun
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Chemical, Chemical
Ted Leo/Pharmacists - The High Party
The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
Elliott Smith - The Enemy is You
Sufjan Stevens - The Dress Looks Nice on You
Stars - Calendar Girl
Mates of State - Nature and the Wreck
Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
The Mountain Goats - Dilaudid
Weezer - Only in Dreams

Julia Stiles is starring in and producing an adaptation of The Bell Jar. I came upon this news this morning at Pajiba.com, and I also saw it on Gawker.com. When I read it on Pajiba, I was hopeful - I like Stiles, mostly because I still enjoy Ten Things I Hate About You, and I'm a fan of Sylvia Plath's work. The Gawker post made me a bit worried, but it's really the item in Variety that made me lose hope: "Book has many dark overtones, but Rattray said the project will emphasize some of the more uplifting elements. "Esther Greenwood has a strong outlook on life, and we're really looking to bring out the humor in the character," she said. "We don't want to do a depressing descent into the world of suicide."

It's THE BELL JAR, people! There's more than one suicide attempt, electro-shock therapy, and a very bloody deflowering. It's been a while since I've read it, but according to Wikipedia, the end is very open-ended. I imagine that will change - they're probably going to tack on a happy ending where she returns to society all better. Yes, there is some humor, and Esther is strong in some ways, but it's hard to say someone "has a strong outlook on life" when they worry about their future, see no desirable options available to them, and try to kill themselves.

Anyway, this is just another instance of my inability to escape Sylvia Plath. I'm working on my senior English essay (topic: biography in the interpretation of poetry, focusing on Plath as an example), and I was sketching out my plan for my final book arts project today (a flexagon book featuring Plath's 'Lady Lazarus').

Tonight was my best of the semester show; next week should be my last show and will be the best of all 4 years.

The playlist:

The Hold Steady - Hot Soft Light
Tralala - Yellow Taxi
Amy Winehouse - Rehab
Feist - When I Was a Young Girl
Cat Power - Living Proof
M. Ward - Right in the Head
Sufjan Stevens - Bushwick Junkie
The Arcade Fire - No Cars Go
John Vanderslice - Exodus Damage
Neko Case - Look for Me (I’ll Be Around)
Eels - Not Ready Yet
Beulah - Emma Blowgun’s Last Stand
Yo La Tengo - Mr. Tough
Cold War Kids - We Used to Vacation
TV on the Radio - Hours

The playlist for this week's show:

The Arcade Fire - Windowsill
Cat Power - Love and Communication
Neko Case - Pretty Girls
The Mountain Goats - Dance Music
Pedro the Lion - Big Trucks
Sufjan Stevens - The Mistress Witch from McClure (or, The Mind That Knows Itself)
Wilco - Pot Kettle Black
Broken Social Scene - 7/4 (Shoreline)
Built to Spill - Goin’ Against Your Mind
* Tralala - We’re Coming Out
Beulah - Cruel Minor Change
* Of Montreal - Gronlandic Edit
* Feist - Mushaboom
* Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
Tori Amos - Talula (The Tornado Mix)

The webcast was down (probably due to the lovely weather and subsequent power outage), so we were only broadcasting locally. Which means I probably had a grand total of maybe one listener. Maybe. Ah well.

In other news, I applied to three more jobs this weekend, bringing the grand total up to eight. Whee.

And now I'm off to bed, but first: Happy birthday, Mom!

The playlist for my special “The Future is Scary, Eep!” show:

Eels - Not Ready Yet
John Vanderslice - Ambition
# Skating Club - Panic and Doubt
Blur - The Debt Collector
The Cure - Subway Song
The Gothic Archies - The World is a Very Scary Place
Desaparecidos - Survival of the Fittest/It’s a Jungle Out There
Operation Ivy - Big City
Le Tigre - My My Metrocard
Enon - Normal is Happening
The Fitness - Day Job
# New Order - Working Overtime
Sleater-Kinney - By the Time You’re 25
Regina Spektor - The Ghost of Corporate Future
# Trembling Blue Stars - Hurry Home Through the Crowds
Harvey Danger - Pike St./Park Slope
The Walkmen - 138th Street
The Mountain Goats - This Year

When you start mapping out apartment locations (thank heavens for Goggle Map, btw), interesting things happen. For instance, I just had a group of 5 promising apartments turn into a set of 2 apartments - because 4 of the listings were for the exact same place, by the same realty company. Different brokers, though, so different text/descriptions - and, oddly enough, different prices. $1800, $1875, $2000, $2000.

Usually this sort of overlap is frustrating, but there has been one exception - 2 listings for the same Kensington apartment, both by the owner, both that sounded like really promising apartments. The descriptions actually emphasized different things, though - so when you put the 2 together, the place sounds even better. And it's affordable. I'm sure something is wrong with it, but I don't know what yet.

Playlist for the week:

Rouge Wave - Are You on My Side
* Arcade Fire - (Antichrist Television Blues)
Sufjan Stevens - Bushwick Junkie
Fiona Apple - Tymps (The Sick in the Head Song)
Steven Burns - Mighty Little Man
Visine - PJ Olsson
* Amy Winehouse - You Know I’m No Good
TV on the Radio - The Wrong Way
Driver of the Year - Volume Switch
Spoon - The Way We Get By
* The Hold Steady - Massive Nights
Friends Like These - Karen
Sleater-Kinney - Step Aside
* Tralala - One Hard Turn Deserves Another
* Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Yankee Go Home

Playlist:

M. Ward - Paul’s Song
* Feist - When I Was a Young Girl
Neko Case - Look For Me (I’ll Be Around)
* Amy Winehouse - Rehab
* Tralala - Are You Gonna Dance (With Me)?
* Arcade Fire - No Cars Go
* The Western States Motel - Powerlines
Wilco - Jesus, Etc.
Sufjan Stevens - To Be Alone With You
Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Bed is for Sleeping
Jeff Buckley - Dream Brother
My Brightest Diamond - The Robin’s Jar
Regina Spektor - Carbon Monoxide
* Of Montreal - She’s a Rejecter
* Matt and Kim - Yea Yeah

And now I go to bed. Yay bed!

A rather disjointed radio show tonight, thanks to sleep deprivation and not feeling drawn to any one genre in particular:

* Tralala - Early Tonight
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Phenomena
Enon - Shave
DJ Shadow - Organ Donor (Extended Overhaul)
The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
Shark Quest - The Rosetta Barrage
Sleater-Kinney - Entertain
Bif Naked - Leader
My Brightest Diamond - Workhorse
The Go Find - What I Want
* Junior Boys - Caught in a Wave
Pretty Girls Make Graves - This is Our Emergency
Metric - Glass Ceiling
* The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!

Yesterday the temperature got up to 79 degrees. Right now it's 67, and there's a good chance of rain this evening. Tomorrow, the high is 35, with snow likely. That's an impressive weather change right there. I guess the flip-flops are going back into my closet again.

Oh man, any possibility of productivity tonight just went out the window for me. Whole first issues of DC Vertigo comics online, for free. And at least 3 or 4 that I really must read, plus another 10 or so that look very interesting. Yum.

Playlist:

Driver of the Year - Even the Devil Has Friends
Death Cab for Cutie - The Face That Launched 1,000 Ships
Tegan and Sara - Where Does the Good Go?
Stars - Reunion
Beulah - Emma Blowgun’s Last Stand
Cold War Kids - We Used to Vacation
John Vanderslice - Letter to the East Coast
M. Ward - Chinese Translation
Neko Case - John Saw That Number
TV on the Radio - Ambulance
Cat Power - Lived in Bars
* Feist - Secret Heart
The Mountain Goats - Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod
Elliott Smith - Pictures of Me
* Tralala - Tallmansville, W. Va.

I've swapped time slots on WSRN, so now my show will be from 9-10 pm on Mondays.

I'm sick. Blarg. My throat hurts, especially when I swallow. I think it's just a cold, but it's still not much fun. Anyway, I'm skipping my radio show tonight (I've found a sub); I've decided to minimize talking and do as much sleeping as I can. Whee.

Playlist:

Barry McGuire - Eve of Destruction
John Vanderslice - Heated Pool and Bar
The Decemberists - The Legionnaire’s Lament
The Mountain Goats - Lion’s Teeth
* TV on the Radio - Hours
Sleater-Kinney - Get Up
Cat Power - Good Clean Fun
Wolf Parade - Dear Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Mysteries
Stars - What I’m Trying to Say
Built to Spill - Traces
Interpol - Obstacle 2
Head Like a Kite - Injecting 10ccs of Temptation
Fischerspooner - Cloud
* Tralala - Yellow Taxi

Playlist for last night's radio show:

Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko
Sneaker Pimps - Tesko Suicide
Ladytron - True Mathematics
Fischerspooner - Emerge (Junkie XL remix)
Arab Strap - If There’s No Hope for Us
The Hold Steady - First Night
Cat Power - Crossbones Style
Portishead - It’s a Fire
Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong
The Go Find - Modern Times
Bloc Party - Blue Light
Architecture in Helsinki - Souvenirs
Asobi Seksu - Walk on the Moon
Massive Attack and Portishead - Teardrop

My first radio show of the semester had a small issue: the aux wasn't working, so I couldn't use my laptop. Which meant that most of the show was spent scurrying back and forth between the studio and the music library.

The playlist from the all CD show:

The Hold Steady - Hot Soft Light
The Music Lovers - A Hell of a Kid
Spoon - All the Pretty Girls Go to the City
Cat Power - Living Proof
Yo La Tengo - Mr. Tough
Belle & Sebastian - Sukie in the Graveyard
John Vanderslice - Exodus Damage
Wolf Parade - It's a Curse
The Wrens - This Boy is Exhausted
Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye'd Boy
Stars - Elevator Love Letter
Akron/Family - No Space in This Realm
Wilco - Can't Stand It
M. Ward - Right in the Head
M. Ward - Four Hours in Washington
TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun

My radio show this semester (my last one on WSRN ever) is Monday, 8-9 pm EST.

This has been a very draining 24 hours, both emotionally and physically. Found out about 2 engagements, had a long day of classes, pondered god and existence and such while doing my religion class reading, stressed about my future, and comforted/helped a friend whose grandfather died today. The last one, on top of everything else, led me to sort of go into confessional/emotional purging mode, which was probably good for me... But also -- (Note: This posting was interrupted by yet another deep emotional talk. I am now freshly drained of tears) -- very, very exhausting. Which is why I really need to go to bed now.

Too many people from my high school are getting or have gotten married. It's starting to freak me out - it seems like every time I log into Facebook there are new wedding pictures.

On a pleasanter and unrelated note, I am officially done with my work for the semester, so now winter break can begin in earnest. Yay!

My last radio show of the semester (and the main reason I actually bothered to get out of bed today):

Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche
* Jens Lekman - Jens Lekman’s Farewell Song to Rocky Dennis
* Beirut - Rhineland (Heartland)
Beulah - Calm Go the Wild Seas
* Cat Power - Could We
* The Mountain Goats - Woke Up New
Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
* M. Ward - Requiem
TV on the Radio - Hours
* The Gothic Archies - Dreary, Dreary
Wolf Parade - It’s a Curse
Belle & Sebastian - The Blues are Still Blue
John Vanderslice - Coming and Going on Easy Terms
Voxtrot - Rise Up in the Dird
* Built to Spill - Traces
* Boy Least Likely To - Monsters
Mates of State - Think Long
Sigur Ros - Saeglopur
My Brightest Diamond - Something of an End
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Parade
The Dresden Dolls - Shores of California
* Exit Clov - MK Ultra
The New Pornographers - Use It
* The Hold Steady - You Can Make Him Like You
* The Futureheads - Skip to the End
Junior Boys - In the Morning
The Go Find - Igloo
* The Music Lovers - A Hell of a Kid
* Yo La Tengo - Black Flowers
Broken Social Scene - 7/4 (Shoreline)
Weezer - Only in Dreams

Tonight on WSRN there will be a special 2 hour Tuesday edition of my radio show! Phrasing it that way makes it sound much more special than it is, of course - my show is today because we're on a Tuesday=Thursday class schedule to make up for Thanksgiving, and I have 2 hours because the people with the show after mine can't make it. But still!

Anyway, it's my last show of the semester; it starts at 5 pm EST.

I'm 22. It doesn't feel very different.

This week's playlist:

Wolf Parade - We Built Another World
Of Montreal - Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games
The Go Find - City Dreamer
The Cardigans - Fine
Broken Social Scene - Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl
Sufjan Stevens - Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!
Sufjan Stevens - Angels We Have Heard On High
Sufjan Stevens - Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!
The Muppet Show - Mahna Mahna
Thurl Ravenscroft - You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
* The Shins - Phantom Limb
Beulah - A Good Man is Easy to Kill
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Naked Sun
Dandy Warhols - I Am Over It
* Califone - Spiders House
* The Futureheads - Worry About It Later
*Klaxons - Gravity’s Rainbow
* Exit Clov - DIY

I have one more radio show this semester; due to weird class schedules to make up for Thanksgiving break, it will be on Tuesday. Still 5-6 pm, though. So you should listen. Yes, you.

Quiz time:











And now I sleep.

This week's playlist, brought to you before the end of the show thanks to advance planning (ooh!):

* Joanna Newsom - Monkey & Bear
My Brightest Diamond - Dragonfly
Neko Case - Margaret vs. Pauline
* The Gothic Archies - This Abyss
Jens Lekman - The Wrong Hands
* Yo La Tengo - The Weakest Part
Voxtrot - Mothers, Sisters, Daughters & Wives
* Beirut - Rhineland (Heartland)
Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself
Broken Social Scene - Fire Eye’d Boy
* Cat Power - I Don’t Blame You
Beth Orton - Couldn’t Cause Me Harm
Pedro the Lion - Bad Diary Days
Elliott Smith - Pictures of Me
* The Mountain Goats - New Monster Avenue

I think next week is my last show of the semester, but 5 (6 when this show gets put up) of my shows are up on the WSRN website in podcast form. Spiffy, huh?

I don't think I've ever been so happy to hear the clanging and gurgling of the pipes before. Still no actual heat, but it sounds promising.

It's cold outside. My radiator is also cold, meaning that I too am cold. For some reason, the heat is on the fritz, and I am not pleased. I'm huddled up in a sweatshirt, fleecy pants, thick socks, hand warmers (I finally finished knitting them!), and a blanket. And still, I am cold. Grr. And brr.

Good news: Vanya is over, and a received compliments on the costumes. Yay. Bad news: Now I get to write the papers I've been putting off. At least I have a firm thesis and decent outline for the Shakespeare one... It makes things slightly less bad.

Playlist:

Sigur Ros - Saeglopur
* The Gothic Archies - Dreary, Dreary
Bright Eyes - Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh
Wilco - How to Fight Loneliness
Low - Broadway (So Many People)
John Vanderslice - Trance Manual
Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead
Tori Amos - Cloud My Tongue
Sufjan Stevens - All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands
* The Mountain Goats - Wild Sage
Iron and Wine - Cinder and Smoke
* M. Ward - Requiem
* Neko Case - Dirty Knife

Vanya costumes are done! I no longer have to live in the costume shop! I'll need to go back for some visits (I know there's a hem I need to fix, and socks to find), but the major work is complete, so there will be no more long hours and late nights in the shop. Whee!

I think I'm running solely on adrenaline and sugar right now. I have work to do, but I don't think I could actually focus on anything. I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that I'm not sewing, and it's harder than you might think.

This week's playlist:

* Neko Case - The Needle Has Landed
Belle & Sebastian - Judy and the Dream of Horses
* The Gothic Archies - Smile! No One Cares How You Feel
Cat Power - Speak For Me
Broken Social Scene - It’s All Gonna Break
John Vanderslice - Promising Actress
Low - Just Stand Back
The New Pornographers - The Body Says No
* The Futureheads - Skip to the End
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Parade
TV on the Radio - Dirtywhirl
* The Music Lovers - Alan Lake
* The Hold Steady - You Can Make Him Like You
The Unicorns - 2014
* Built to Spill - Goin’ Against Your Mind

The Gothic Archies include Stephin Merritt (the guy from Magnetic Fields) and Lemony Snicket (the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events). The album is actually based around the books, and apparently some of the songs are on the audio books. You have no idea how much this delights me. :)

I was in Target this evening, shopping with Allison, when we came across this: the FurReal Pony. It's kind of terrifying. It's over 3 feet tall, moves its tail and head (in a rather twitchy manner), and makes noise. In some ways, it's ingenious - lots of little girls ask for ponies, and this is significantly cheaper than buying, feeding, and boarding a real horse. At the same time, it's also very disturbing.

I went to the FurReal website and was looking at their other products, which include a variety of "newborn" animals - chimps, lions, tigers, bears (oh my!), puppies, kittens, and bunnies. By the way, what the heck are "baby bunny sounds"? Because apparently these bunnies make them, but the only noises I've heard out of any baby bunnies are squeaks of pain/fear when Katie finds a nest. And I highly doubt that those are the kind of noises they're talking about - otherwise, there are going to be a lot of little traumatized kids.

On a somewhat related note: I was watching cartoons on Saturday (Which, btw, are not as cool as the cartoons I remember as a kid - a sign of lower standards on the entertainment companies' part, or the beginnings of nostalgic longings on my part? You decide.), and a Barbie commercial played a few times. Featured in this commercial was the coolest version of the Barbie Dream House that I've seen in quite a while - 3 stories with a winding staircase, and spiffy furnishings.

Finally, as this post demonstrates, I am apparently dealing with my impending graduation by regressing back to childhood. Ah well.

This week's playlist:

Pretty Girls Make Graves - The Number
My Brightest Diamond - The Robin’s Jar
John Vanderslice - Pale Horse
* Built to Spill - Wherever You Go
Spoon - No You’re Not
OK Go - It’s a Disaster
* Pas/Cal - Little Red Radio
Sufjan Stevens - Super Sexy Woman
* Yo La Tengo - Mr. Tough
Mates of State - Think Long
The New Pornographers - Sing Me Spanish Techno
Broken Social Scene - Windsurfing Nation
Primal Scream - Rocks
TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
* His Name Is Alive - Seven Minutes
Enon - Disposable Parts
* The Music Lovers - A Hell of a Kid
* Gertie Fox - Modern Love

Play list for this week:

TV on the Radio - Hours
My Brightest Diamond - Disappear
The Wrens - Boys, You Won’t
The Arcade Fire - Headlights
* The Mountain Goats - Woke Up New
* Broken Social Scene - Handjobs for the Holidays
Mates of State - Running Out
* Boy Least Likely To - Monsters
Beulah - Hello Resolven
* Built to Spill - Liar
* Jens Lekman - Jens Lekman’s Farewell Song to Rocky Dennis
Sufjan Stevens - Vito’s Ordination Song (Acoustic)
* M. Ward - Post-War
* Yo La Tengo - Black Flowers

The world would be a much better place if papers wrote themselves.

Instead of doing my work, I'm busy being productive in other ways. Like poking around the internet for useful information on cool libraries and possible publishing jobs for me and/or a friend.

Among the things I've discovered is Ugly Duckling Presse, a tiny, volunteer-run publisher that works with poetry and artist books, among other things. I now desperately want to volunteer there, because, well, they sound damn cool. Sure, there's no money to be made in it, but it would be an interesting experience and teach me a lot more about artist books (they of the sometimes strange design and high cost, and generally of extreme awesomeness). Actually, the UDP artist books are pretty cheap - the limited facsimile edition of one book is only $250. Granted, that's with 100 copies available, but still: compare it with one of the artist books at Granary Books - 35 pages, 45 copies available... $2,500 each. (Of course, the Granary book sounds pretty impressive - accordion-style, so it can be unfolded and turned into more traditional art to be hung on the wall; each has 15 bits of archival material from the artist's studio, etc.)

Anyways, my point is that I'm much more interested in digging up this relatively random information than working on a paper for theatre class. Maybe I would make a good reference librarian after all.

The chances that I'll be moving to NYC after I graduate have just gone up. See, I want to work with pretty books. Rare books. Special collections. The cool things that are usually kept in rooms with special temperature control. Art books that are so strange you're not even sure they should be classified as books.

But where does one go to learn about working with such books? Library school? Yes, but apparently not just any library school. I've now browsed through the websites of most of the ALA-accredited library schools. If I wanted to be a school media specialist and deal with kids, I could go just about anywhere. If I wanted to be an archivist and file away old letters, I would have many options. And most of the schools offer classes on rare books or in preservation. But if I want to actually specialize in rare books/special collections, my best options are in the New York area.

Option 1: School of Information and Library Science at the Pratt Institute. They offer a concentration called Art and Humanities Library Services/Cultural Informatics. It's a mouthful, but "Career opportunities in this area include research and academic libraries, museums and library research, archives and special collections, art and performing arts librarianship, digital libraries and archives." In other words, my sort of thing.

Option 2: Palmer School of Library and Information Science at Long Island University. They actual offer a concentration in Rare Books and Special Collections. And: "Students will develop proficiency in rare book curatorship, archival techniques, the history of the book, rare book cataloging, preservation, and exhibition planning. They will become acquainted with major collections through field trips and internships, and will have opportunity to meet experts in this area." Also, a lot of the classes for the concentration (though probably not for the core requirements) are offered in Manhattan. And they're associated with the University of Virginia's Rare Book School, which is nifty. (The Rare Book School offers 5-day, non-credit classes in various cities on cool topics like Book Illustration Processes to 1900 (Woodcuts! Lithography! General prettiness!) and Introduction to Illuminated Manuscripts.)

Happily, NYC has lots of libraries and bookstores where I can work while working on my degree. Because eating is helpful, and I don't actually want to live in a cardboard box.

No DC this weekend after all - last night I cancelled my reservations after realizing what I had left to do (Shakespeare midterm, packing, etc), how tired I was, and how early I would have to get up. Maybe next weekend, assuming I get things done this week.

This week's playlist:

My Brightest Diamond - Something of an End
The Dresden Dolls - Shores of California
Sneaker Pimps - Lightning Field
* Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s - Vampires in Blue Dresses
Sufjan Stevens - Joy! Joy! Joy!
Junior Boys - In the Morning
The Go Find - Igloo
The New Pornographers - Use It
* The Hold Steady - Massive Nights
* Yo La Tengo - The Room Got Heavy
* Beirut - Brandenburg
* Built to Spill - Traces
Stars - What I’m Trying to Say
* Broken Social Scene - 7/4 (Shoreline)
Metric - Monster Hospital

This post is brought to you by my inner geek and my intense need to procrastinate:

Stikfas are some of the coolest toys ever. My brother got me the red dragon and warrior woman combo last year, and it's fantastic. And the other sets they have are also great. Beta Female Demoness? Very cool. Mechana Segmented Robot (in the yellow and blue, of course)? Adorable - the robot has a little bear friend! So cute! Explorer and jungle cat? Nifty. The phantom? So versatile! The scythe for the Grim Reaper, the pumpkin for the headless horseman, chains for the stereotypical ghost, see-through body for the Invisible Man, and a crown for a Stikfas recreation of the beginning of Hamlet! Because these toys call out the need to be used in stop animation videos, and people have done so - skateboarding, fight scenes, even a bit of Star Wars.

Which brings me to some other nifty toys, courtesy of =http://www.thinkgeek.com/">ThinkGeek. I had already come across Darth Tater, a Mr. Potatohead version of Vader, but there's apparently also a Spud Trooper and Artoo Patatoo (complete with a little Princess Tater 'hologram'!). And then there's the plush Yoda backpack, made to look like you're giving Yoda a piggyback ride, a la Luke's training in The Empire Strikes Back. So geeky, but so very neat.

Okay. Time to sleep. Shakespeare midterm in about 8 hours, whee!

I have a train ticket to DC for this weekend. Whee!

This week's playlist (before the show is actually done, since the Decemberists' song still has about 6 minutes left):

* Yo La Tengo - The Race Is On Again
John Vanderslice - White Plains
* Cat Power - Could We
* Jens Lekman - F-Word
* Neko Case - Star Witness
Sufjan Stevens - For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti
* Beirut - The Gulag Orkestar
My Brightest Diamond - Workhorse
The Dresden Dolls - My Alcoholic Friends
* Exit Clov - Beast Simone
* Camera Obscura - If Looks Could Kill
* Built to Spill - The Wait
* The Decemberists - The Island: Come and See - The Landlord’s Daughter - You’ll Not Feel the Drowning

Really heavy on the rock department playlist stuff this week, but that's because there's good stuff on the playlist. Most of the show was played off of *gasp* actual CDs instead of my computer! Amazing!

So I picked up my Shakespeare book today and flipped to 12th Night. At least, I tried to. 12th Night starts on page 333. My book jumps from 320 to 369 - cutting off As You Like It mid-scene and giving me only the last page of 12th Night. It then proceeds as normal for a bit, with the entirety of All's Well That End's Well. Then there's the intro for Measure for Measure - or the intro to the intro. That gets cut off mid-way as well, giving me another copy of 12th Night's last page, then another full copy of All's Well That End's Well. Then, finally, it proceeds as it should.

So my complete works of Shakespeare has only part of As You Like It, two All's Well That End's Well, and no 12th Night. Lovely. This is going to lead to an interesting discussion at the bookstore...

The Sufjan Stevens concert was excellent; the opening band, My Brightest Diamond, was fantastic. Yay good music!

Playlist from my radio show this week:

* Exit Clov - MK Ultra
John Vanderslice - Coming and Going on Easy Terms
Mike Doughty - I Hear the Bells
Rouge Wave - Are You On My Side
* Beirut - Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)
* Sufjan Stevens - The Henney Buggy Band
Bright Eyes and Neva Dinova - I’ll Be Your Friend
Elliott Smith - In the Lost and Found (Honky Bach)/The Roost
Belle & Sebastian - Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying
Cat Power - The Greatest
* Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
Mates of State - Nature and the Wreck
Stars - Calendar Girl
* Jens Lekman - At the Dept. of Forgotten Songs
Final Fantasy - The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead
* Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken
* Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s - Paper Kitten Nightmare
* Sufjan Stevens - The Mistress Witch from McClure (or, The Mind That Knows Itself)

And now I sleep, because sleep is good.

I am stressed and unhappy and hating work and feeling unproductive, but at least I have a stomach full of tasty milkshake and quality company for my moping.

The first radio show of the semester went decently well, I think. It was kind of weird doing just an hour, though I'm sure I'll get used to it.

The playlist:

Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche
Beulah - Calm Go the Wild Seas
* Beirut - Postcards From Italy
* Voxtrot - Rise Up in the Dird
Mates of State - Fraud in the ‘80s
* Exit Clov - Communist BBQ
Stars - Look Up
Wolf Parade - It’s a Curse
* Be Your Own Pet - Bicycle, Bicycle
Le Tigre - Deceptacon
Sleater-Kinney - Combat Rock
The New Pornagraphers - Twin Cinema
Belle & Sebastian - The Blues Are Still Blue
Pavement - Date With Ikea
* Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s - Talking in Code
* Jeff Hanson - Now We Know

I just received a letter about my culminating essay for English - the requirement for me to graduate with an English major. My impending graduation now seems much more real. Gah.

Off to do my first radio show of the semester now - let's hope we break the tradition of having a bad first show, shall we? *knocks on wood*

The large scale event for this semester has been announced: The New Pornographers. Yay! Also, while I haven't heard of any of the bands coming to Olde Club this semester, it seems like an interesting mix - the usually indie rock, but also some jazz. And a week from now I get to see Sufjan Stevens.

*is encompassed by waves of musical delight*

Evidently I'm no longer capable of sleeping more than about 6 hours in one stretch. I'm not well-rested after these 6 hours, mind you, but I am awake. Last night I went to bed around 1:30; this morning I was awake around 7:30 even though my alarm was set for 9. A similar thing happened yesterday, too... But yesterday, after being up for an hour or so, I went back to bed for another hour, hour and a half of sleep. But I can't go back to sleep right away - after all these years of sleep deprivation and napping to catch up, I seem to have trained my body not to expect anything more than 6 hours. In some ways, this is useful - when I can only get 6 hours, it's nice that my body is reasonably alert. It's bad in other ways, though - namely when I could get more than 6 hours, I can't. At least not without an hour of reading or something before crashing again, anyway.

It seems WSRN loves me more than I love it. I applied for a one hour time slot this semester - I want to do a show, but I already have enough time commitments - and they gave me a two hour show. I almost went with it, but decided not against it. Some rearranging was done, and I got my hour: Thursdays, 5-6 pm EST time. Whee.

Last night I and 3 others took advantage of Restaurant Week (meals at great restaurants for $30 - appetizer, entree, and dessert) and went to Estia. Getting dressed up was fun, getting out of the Bubble was nice, and the food was amazing. So, so wonderful. Especially the lamb we all had for the entree - so tasty! Alas, Sharples today is going to be a bit of a let-down.

I think it may also be about time that I bid adieu to my social life for the semester. This morning I was thinking about what I need to get done this weekend, and it's not a pretty list. Eek.

Facebook's new newsfeed thing creeps me out. Yes, technically it is all information that was there before - which is why Facebook is the best stalking tool this side of MySpace - but you had to look for it before. You had to go to your friends page, look at who had recently updated their profiles, and then figure out what those updates were. Effort had to be made; now all you have to do is log in. If I even so much as glance at the newsfeed, I feel sketchy. And it's impossible to not look at it, since it's right there, smack dab in the middle, with no way to opt out or avoid it.

Here's what I don't really get. Facebook is free for users, therefore it must make money through advertisers. The advertisers get more bang for their buck the longer a user is on the site, since that way the user will see more ads. The newsfeed compiles all sorts of info you had to dig for before - i.e. it can drastically reduce the amount of time a user spends on the site. Which means it decreases the amount of exposure ads get. This seems like a bad business move on Facebook's part, and that's even before you factor in the number of users who are leaving the site because they're creeped out. So... Why? What's the rationale?

Today is the first day of classes - the first day of my last year in college. Eep.

I deem my hall theme a success! Even (perhaps especially) the Quad of Evil is pleased. Yay!

Long day today - early start, followed by a 1.5 hour bus ride, followed by a few hours rafting on the river, followed by another bus ride... So now I'm going to crash. Hopefully my body will let me sleep longer for 6 hours tonight.

Public service announcement: I have way too many clothes. This message brought to you by the lack of closet space in my new room.

I'm back at Swat after a week at home. RA training starts tomorrow, and right now I'm working on unpacking. My new room is nice - the bed is comfy (I tested it by napping this afternoon - in my defense, I got up at 6 am today, which is unheard of for me), I have my own bathroom, and the room itself is rather large. And it's not in the basement, which is saying something, since I lived in the basement for 2 full years - calendar years, too, not just academic, since I spent 2 summers down there as well. Having to climb stairs is kind of weird, and I miss having the water fountain fairly close by. More exercise for me, I guess.

Time to unpack a bit more before my brain shuts down completely.

Because I'm doing just about anything instead of the work I should be doing, I bring you this tidbit of information from a CNN.com article on the horrible heat: "...zookeepers are feeding lions frozen blood to cool off." That's right, the lions at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston are getting treated to blood smoothies. No word on whether the polar bears are getting the same sorts of perks.

Okay, back to procrastination.

I have procured myself a pretty boy.

There's a heat advisory for the area for the next few days. Today - high in lower 90s with heat index in upper 90s. Tuesday and Wednesday? High around 100 with heat index around 110. Whee!

At least I'll be in the air conditioned library for most of those 2 days...

I have really amazing and intricate henna on me entire left arm, stretching from my shoulder to my hand and covering my ring finger; I also have a smaller pattern on the top/side of my right foot. It's nifty - yay for Allison! Of course, now I have to let it sit and not pick at it, which gets hard as it dries, since it starts itching.

Right now I'm the best kind of tired - happy tired from swinging, sliding, laughing, climbing, running... Yay for friends and acting like a kid.

Food for a barbecue for 40+ people = expensive. And leads to a very, very full grocery cart. Whee.

A rather up and down day, overall. Get to work early - up. Feel crappy and leave after an hour - down. Sleep - up. Still feel nauseous - down. Deal with people - down, then up. Boo to stupid people, but yay for friends. Especially friends who cheer me up by staying up late with me and making brownies.

The downside of no longer having a niche: when I'm bored, there's no one I can go to and say "I'm bored, let's do something." Actually, there are more downsides than that, but that's the one that's currently bugging me. The boredom and desire for people to do things with is heightened by the fact that I actually have been doing things the past few nights - hanging out and talking until the wee hours, playing a board game here and there, etc. But the people I'm closest to this summer have all gone away for the weekend, and while there are people still here that I'm getting to know better, they're not yet the sort of friends I feel comfortable bothering uninvited. Even with close friends I've always preferred to be the one that got called, rather than the one that does the inviting. I don't know - I have rejection issues or something, I guess.

I could (and should) do research stuff and whatnot. But it's Saturday night! And also, I just don't feel like it. I'd consider wandering outside and into the woods or over to the playground to swing, but it's still raining. And while walking and moping is something I'm fine with doing, walking and moping in the rain is a bit too much.

Bush vetoed a bill to increase funding for embryonic stem cell research. I'm doing research for my internship and reading about lovely things like people publishing white supremacist newspapers and defacing tombstones in a Jewish cemetery by painting them with swastikas. I don't even want to glance at the headlines of the NYTimes. All in all, I'm just swimming in happy, uplifting news. Excuse me while I attempt to distract myself by... oh, hell, I don't even know. Grr to the world.

I think I may be a horrible person. I am, at the very least, a very large chicken. *mope*

And now to deal with the leak in the bathroom ceiling.

Problem guy outdid himself this morning. Around 3:30 am, I hear a knock on my door. Still half-asleep, I don't respond right away, hoping I'm dreaming or something. More knocking. I stumble out of bed, open the door. And there's problem guy. He asks me where he can find a vending machine. Yes, he woke me up (when my door sign said "Sleeping - disturb for emergencies only") to ask me where he could get a snack. Sadly, I was too bewildered and groggy to make any sort of witty retort about how having the munchies is really only an emergency if a) you haven't eaten in days and are quite literally starving or b) you're diabetic and going into shock. Instead, I just asked him to repeat himself and then mumbled that there were vending machines in the bike room... I didn't add that the dorm isn't that big and that he could have found them by wandering around for about 15 minutes, tops.

I don't think he even apologized for waking me up. Usually people apologize profusely for waking me during a nap or even just knocking when my door says "busy" - and they generally have real issues, like being locked out or having a smoke detector going off or something. I like those people so much more.