Random question here: Why do I always seem to make things harder for myself than they need to be or than they really are? (I'm speaking mostly about emotional stuff here, but I guess this could apply to anything every now and then...)

I am very much tempted to blame my current mood on many things, including the weather, PMS sort of stuff -- some people get cramps or strange cravings... My depression kicks into top gear, whee! -- or any of those sort of mild, will soon change things. And that's probably what it is. But I can never convince myself of that until after the fact. I always feel like it's something so much bigger that's causing it, that I or my relationships with other people or life in generally is just fucked up or inherently flawed or something. I don't know. I seem incapable of being happy for a long period of time -- there's always at least one bad day (sometimes just a bad hour) that ruins the run of happiness and sends me back to square one as far as confidence and self-esteem goes.

Dammit, changing my background music from Rainer Maria to Sahara Hotnights was supposed to help my mood. Upbeat music, you have failed me!

Time to read, then crash, then face the rest of this less-than-ideal week.