I'm sort of crying. They're random tears... Those silent tears that just stream down your face, tears that are practically unconcious and don't seem to have a direct cause or source. It's like a leak in a dam, all the emotions build up until something finally slips through, escapes, breaks free and shows itself to the world.

I feel like I'm falling apart, both physically and mentally. My body is aching... My knees keep popping and cracking, my muscles are tight and sore. My head hurts; I hardly ever get headaches, but I've been getting them for the past few days. I'm tired... I fell asleep in study hall again today. Today at least 4 people asked me if I was okay. I don't know if I am. I have a lot of stuff I should be doing, but I can't focus on it, I can't force myself to do much of anything. All I want to do is sleep, or at least stretch out on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I almost wish I was catatonic. It would be nice to have an excuse to not move or do anything... No track practice, not much of anything... I just want a break from everything. 3rd quarter sucks - there's no days off until spring break next month. Weekends don't count anymore, since I'm too busy doing homework and such stuff. I want to freeze time, get a good 12 hours of sleep, and then start everything up again. Maybe then I could function normally. Maybe then I could survive.