In the course of 2 days, I have become very attached to So Long, Astoria... The 4th song in particular...

I got your letter and the poetry you sent me,
Postmarked in December of last year.
I really hope you're doing better,
All your friends close by your side...
One step closer to recovery.


I wish there was something I could say
To erase each and every page that you've been through,
Even though it's not my place to save you.
I appreciate but can't accept
This thank you note that's sealed with your last breath...
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up.

If you'll just hold on for one more second,
Just hold on to what you have.
If you'll just hold on, just hold on...

These arms remain stretched out to you.
Maybe someday you'll accept them,
Or maybe it's too late
To save a young girl's heart
That's long stopped beating.

Wake up, wake up, you've gotta believe...
Wake up, wake up, you can't give up...
Time keeps going on without us,
Long after we're dead and gone.

I wish there was something I could say
To erase each and every page that you've been through,
Even though it's not my place to save you.
I appreciate but can't accept
This thank you note that's sealed with your last breath...
I won't stand aside and listen to you give up.

If you'll just hold on for one more second,
Just hold on to what you have.
If you'll just hold on, just hold on...
You will wake up tomorrow.

- The Ataris, My Reply

So yes, I've fallen in love with the song... It seems to be a good response to my overall mood of this past week... I just need to "hold on"...

Moving on... I've decided I'm rather temperamental. *Every person who has ever met Jen stares at her with an 'Uh, duh expression* Okay, okay... So yeah, it's pretty obvious that I'm very temperamental. But I was thinking about something else today, about the way I act when I'm upset... I'm not sure how to say it. Fickle? Contradictory? Uncertain? Variable? I can't think of a word that seems quite right. But what it comes down to is this: When I'm upset, I always think I want people to ask me what's wrong, to try to comfort me, and so on. But as soon as someone tries to do so, I lash out at them, or at the very least, don't appreciate it much. So what is it in that split second - the time in which I go from being ignored to being consoled - that changes my mind? I suppose it could be some sort of idealistic thing... The consolation I desire is not the same as what they offer. But I usually lash out immediately, before they even have a chance... So that doesn't quite work. Hmm. This is somewhat frustrating.

And now more song lyrics, just because...

If I die tomorrow, would this song live on forever?
Here is my unopened letter to a world
That never shall reply...

From this second story window,
I can hear the church bells calling out my name.
This table is set for one...
Even angels would be homesick in this forsaken town.

On random notes of parchment,
I'm scrawling my existence,
Dressed in white.
This candle radiates throughout the night,
And it's never burning out.

From this second story window,
I can hear the children down on Main Street.
They're singing their songs tonight...
In the shadows I will listen to their every movement.

Mr. Higginson, am I not good enough for the world?
Am I destined only to die the same what that I lived?
In seclusion...

From high upon this mountain,
I can almost see your lonely windowsill...
They'll carry you off tonight.
There's a ghost in your old bedroom,
And a candle burning bright.

If I die tomorrow,
Would this song live on forever?

- The Ataris, Unopened Letter to the World