I stayed up until 5 am for no good reason, and then I decided to let my body sleep as long as it wanted. No alarm, classes be damned. So now I'm up, and I feel much better. Sleep is a very good thing.

Had a psuedo-existential crisis this evening. Went to a poetry reading given by a student than won a grant, realized I'll never be able to write like that, but also felt like writing. I had an hour to kill before my radio show, so I wrote some poetry. I insulted myself and my tendency towards angst in my writing, and then it somehow turned into musing about existentialism, which led to the psuedo-existential crisis.

Existentialism class has taught me that I can, in theory, give my life meaning even if it's not inherent. But that's not very reassuring when you're sitting there and all of the sudden everything loses it's purpose and meaning, and you just kind of go numb, overwhelmed with the fact that nothing really matters. And yet, paradoxically, the numbness hurts. It's painful, it brings tears to the eyes, then it just gives way to sorrow. That's where I'm at now. Sitting here with unexplicable salty tears running down my face, wanting something, but not sure what it is.

The playlist of the radio show I somehow managed to get through:

Enon - UTZ
* Prosaics - Failure
Yo La Tengo - Everyday
Switchblade Symphony - Funnel
#* Isis - In Fiction
Nine Inch Nails - The Day the Whole World Went Away
Fischerspooner - Sweetness
The Beauty Pill - Rideshare
Super Furry Animals - Furryvision
Explosions in the Sky - A Song for Our Fathers
Iron and Wine - Cinder and Smoke
* Spoon - I Turn My Camera On
* The Unicorns - Tuff Luff
* Stars - What I’m Trying to Say
Marvin the Paranoid Android - Reasons to Be Miserable (yes, that Marvin... He has 4 songs, you can find them at http://www.hhgproject.org/index.html, a web encyclopedia of Douglas Adams’ Hitchiker’s Triology)
The Kicks - Mir
* The Evens - Crude Bomb
Ted Leo/Pharmacists - Come Baby Come
* British Sea Power - It Ended on an Oily Stage
* Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast for Thee
Guster - Demons
Snow Patrol - How to Be Dead
#* Lunchbox - The Living End (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
Jimmy Eat World - Blister
Hey Mercedes - Frowning of a Lifetime
Braid - First Day Back
The Junior Varsity - Housefire
#* Gratiitude - Drive Away

Not much else to say, because really, it doesn't matter.

My iPod has come, and it is currently filling up with songs. There is much happiness.

Now for work. Grr to work, grr I say.

iTunes, why do you like to pretend that songs are on the same album when they're really not? Or that songs are on different albums when they're really on just one? Silly iTunes, you mess with my "shuffle by album" option by not actually doing it.

Unrelated note: Iron and Wine = good. Some of the best mellow music I've ever heard. Sam Beam, you are a cool folky guy, keep up the fantastic work.

And now back to Simone de Beauvoir.

Just got done with the housing lottery for rising juniors. Not sure how long the wait-list is, probably decent size. I've discovered that the lottery is just as stressful on the other side of the table, especially when you're the only RA for that dorm there. Eep. It was fine until the very end, when ML was the only place left with singles.

In general, my hall looks good so far. It's also still half-empty, and who knows who will end up in there. But my half of the basement is almost full, and with the exception of 2 people who I don't know, they're all cool folks. So that's good.

Now time for some more work, whee...

I've pre-registered for my fall classes. Hopefully I'll actually get all of them. *crosses fingers*

So, it looks like I'm going to be spending a decent amount of time in Mertz next year, since about half my friends will be living there. Woot.

As a candidate for the latest idiotic women's fashion idea, I present the thongboy, also known as a thong back boy leg panty. Basically, boy shorts that are also a thong. An idiotic idea because it rids the thong of it's only useful purpose, which is to get rid of panty lines. So. Panty lines and a constant wedgie - the worst of both worlds. Nice work, lingerie designers.

Went out to dinner with my family again, as well as friends of my brothers. It was nice, and I got some Ben and Jerry's afterwards. Cherry Garcia is good.

Blarg. I desperately want to sleep. I got lots of sleep last night, so I'm not really physically tired, but I just feel draggy and just want to curl up and do nothing.

My family is in Philly right now. We went out to dinner with Kyle's family last night, and will be going out to dinner with a friend of Tim's tonight, then just doing a family thing for my mom's birthday tomorrow. Yay non-Sharples food!

I was going to "sell" my MP3 player to my mom, but in the process of loading music onto it and showing her how to use the software and such, it decided to have a hardware problem. This problem is apparently unfixable without sending it back to Creative. So yeah, so much for that. I guess I have a nice paperweight now...

And I also ordered my iPod today, and am now anxiously awaiting it's arrival.

Now, however, it is time to do some more work. Whee...

So, the summer housing lottery? Horrible. I did end up with a single in the basement though, so that's good. Marci, it's actually your room... But it was marked as a senior room on the plan (meaning not available until May 31st)... So, um... You're not staying until then, are you?

Various other people I know are scattered throughout the building, including John and Maarten in my room and Ken and Alex in one of the barn doubles. It'll be an interesting summer, I think. We will see.

Time to get some stuff done, then to sleep!

When mistaken weather forecasts are good things: when the forecast says the high is 60 and it will be partly cloudy, but it's actually 65 and sunny.

I'm taking my laptop outside, where I will hopefully be able to see the screen anyway. If not, I will start my paper the old-fashioned way and go pen and paper. Must. Enjoy. Weather.

I just had my best philosophy class ever. I had understood the reading, so I understood the class discussion. Not only that, but I participated, got the connections she made to other things, even related it back to something else we had discussed last month. I felt on the ball and it was an utterly fantastic feeling. *basks in happy glow of comprehension*

Now to write an English paper that I really should have written awhile ago. Not an overly appealing task, but it'll be okay.

Victory is mine - I resolved the memory issue (it involved going into Rescue mode and cleaning up files), and wiped everything from the MP3 player, returning it back to a clean slate.

So. Anyone interested in buying a 40 GB MP3 player?

I'm reading Simone de Beauvoir's The Ethics of Ambiguity right now. I'm not very far, but I'm actually understanding it. Part of it may be that she's currently rehashing Sartre, which we've already discussed in class. Part of it is also that she seems to use simpler language, which I am eternally grateful for. But I'm getting it, writing parts of it in my own words in the margins, etc... And it feels really nice to comprehend it, to not just have to stop and blink at the page and start over again.

I think I inadvertently became a feature on a tour today... I was napping in my nook in the science center and I kind of woke up for a bit, and I think there were people walking buy looking at me, kind of shaking their heads laughingly at the crazy sleep-deprived college kid. And then I woke up again later to Jawaad writing "Sweet dreams" on the chalk board over my head. But a nice nap altogether. Yay naps.

So. After realizing I'm really going to want lots of music to listen to during my library shifts this summer (yes, it's allowed, even encouraged), I decided to see if my MP3 player would get along with my iBook. I hadn't tried before -- the MP3 player itself seems to have a glitch that doesn't let it fill up as much as it should, and it only uses MP3s, so I can't easily take stuff from iTunes and put it on there (since iTunes uses AAC or whatever). So yeah. I hadn't tried it before. But I did just now. And it's not happening. And then I look online. It requires Windows. Rar.

So. It's looking like I'll be trying to sell this, probably for a decent amount less than I bought if for, because of the glitch. And then I think I may look into getting an iPod. Mmm, iPod...

Reading now, really.

Another Tuesday, another radio show:

Cat Power - I Don’t Blame You
* Black Mountain - Don’t Run Our Hearts Around
The Holy Ghost - Seein’ is Believin’
The Flaming Lips - It’s Summertime (Flaming Orange Pallbearers)
* Bloc Party - Like Eating Glass
#* Boycrazy - Bad Things (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
The New Pornographers - It’s Only Divine Right
* Mob Stereo - Privileged Position
Her Space Holiday - Tech Romance
Elastica - Nothing Stays the Same
* LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge
* Radar Bros. - Show Yourself
That Dog - Side Part
* Enon - Drowning Appointments
Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground
Switchblade Symphony - Dirty Dog
Placebo - Every You Every Me
Asobi Seksu - Sooner
* AK-Momo - Return to N.Y.
* Styrofoam - Your Eyes Only
Sunny Day Real Estate - Every Shining Time You Arrive
* Yo La Tengo - Big Day Coming
The Walkmen - Wake Up
#* Gratitude - All in a Row
Ted Leo/Pharmacists - Treble in Trouble
* You Me & Iowa - Bigger Than Boston
* British Sea Power - Please Stand Up
Interpol - Obstacle 1
* The Ponys - Glass Conversation

The AK-Momo song wasn't very good... I won't be playing anything off of that album.

Not much else to say. I remembered to go to the admissions office and withdraw my application for that job, so no interview for me tomorrow. Woohoo.

Time to read some poetry and then go to sleep. Yay sleep.

I officially have a summer job. I am very pleased and very, very relieved. I'll be starting work at McCabe Library on May 16th, and then working Mon-Fri, 9:30 am to 4:30 pm until August 5th or so. It should be fun... Okay, some portions of it will be mind-numbing, I'm sure, but I'm getting paid $7.81 per hour and don't have a strict dress code, and also don't have to work nights or weekends, so I'm not about to complain.

This means I will not be in Quincy over the summer. I may take off a week or so in the middle of the summer, but it will probably be after my parents move into the new house, so I'll be going there. Sorry guys... You'll just have to come out to Philadelphia if you really want to see me.

*does happy "I'm gainfully employed" dance*

So that didn't require much twiddling. Just got an email back -- I'm meeting with them at 3:30 pm. Commence with the butterflies... I don't know if this really counts as a job interview, but still... Why did I have to wear the jeans with the massive hole in the knee today?

Another email just came, reminding me to bring my housing form if I need them to fill it out. Which I do. Which also indicates to me that they are actually hiring me. Which is cool and a massive relief.

*happy dance*

My large amounts of sleep enabled me to get up to campus during my advisor's office hours. I didn't actually have any questions really, it was more like "Here's what I want to take, do you think Lyric Encounters will be lotteried? No, that's good. Okay, well, thanks then." None of my advising meetings have involved actual advising, it seems... Mostly because I have everything figured out before I ever get there. Yay preplanning.

My sleep did not, however, prevent me from falling asleep in philosophy class. Not sure why I dozed off, but I just did. Must remember to consume caffeine on Thursday before class. Maybe that will help. We'll see.

I got an email from the library... They want me to come in today or tomorrow, talk about the work involved, etc. So it looks like I most likely have a job, which is cool. Woot. Hopefully I'll get to talk to them today, secure the job, and get out of actually doing the interview for the admissions job, since I'd rather work in the library anyway.

I will now sit and twiddle my thumbs until the library emails me back. *twiddle*

I went to bed at 10:30 last night, just because. And I just got up now. It's wonderful.

I ran, and it was good.

The route: out the back door of ML, up the driveway. Take a right, go down Harvard Avenue to Morgan Circle. Take another right, run that loop, run up through a little path to another street, take that to Chester Road. Take a left on Chester, and run. Run past Yale Avenue, where I usually turn. Run past Harvard Avenue, keep on running until I hit the train station. Run down the stairs through the tunnel, up the stairs, onto campus. Run up Magill Walk until I hit the first set of stairs. Stop.

Let lungs fill up with air, return heart to normal rate, let sweat dry. Walk up rest of Magill Walk, go into Parrish for water, look at the block results. Discover that there are a lot of blocks that weren't taken - many in Pitt, maybe even some of the Lodges? Bizarre. Walk a bit more, then head out.

Start running again. Barrel down the hill past Sharples. Run through the tunnel (different one than before), run past the fieldhouse. Run past the soccer field, past the playground. Take a right onto Harvard. Run down the street, run through the Deadly Crossroads (aka the intersection of Harvard and Yale). Stop.

Milage? Unknown. Not even sure how long I ran time-wise. But it was longer and further than I normally run, so that's cool.

For some reason, I decided to see what Ann Coulter has been writing lately -- I think it was reading a parody of an inane journalist that reminded me of her. But I actually read two of her columns, and I must say, my brain is most unhappy with me. It took a little more than 2,000 words to fully enrage me -- probably much less than that, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say it took both columns to do the job. Her ideas are, of course, immensely frustrating. The terms she uses are occasionally beyond belief... For instance, the "ban on girl priests"... Girl priests. Girl. Not female, not women. Girls. I didn't realize anyone was discussing whether 12-year old girls should be allowed to be priests. 30-year old women, sure. But last time I checked, most people didn't refer to them as "girls." Though I suppose she could have said "gal priests" and made me that much angrier even faster.

Perhaps my biggest problem is that she really can't write that well. "Come Back, Liberals!" was perhaps one of the most painful things I've read in a long time. It's vaguely stream-of-consciousness, or maybe more like an outline, as it seems to be only loosely connected to any main idea and has many 1 and 2 sentence "paragraphs"... You could maybe take this and make some structurally decent if you really tried, but it's probably not worth it. How is it that this woman has one book, let alone four? How is it that people actually read these books? Or maybe they don't read them, maybe they just buy them for the pictures of her that appear on three of the books' covers? How is it that people read this stuff for more than amusement and raising their heart rate? How are they best-sellers?!

*deep breath* Okay. One final note before I go find something suitably intelligent to wipe this from my mind. Her new book is entitled How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter. I feel like it should be something like How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Have a Death Wish) or How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Want to Showcase Your Ignorance). And really, posing in front of a chalkboard, as if she were here to teach us? And here to teach us while wearing what looks to be a black leather vest, no less.

Okay, off for some mind-cleansing.

The life drawing session was cool... I think it'll be fun to do a life-drawing class. I don't feel like I'm great at it, but I'll get better, I think.

Screw was fun... I enjoyed watching people be silly. I also saw one guy get stood up, which was really sad. Saka, Bizzy and I ran into each other and chatted for a bit. The Vertigo-go show was enjoyable, but not their best. The dance was fun, even though I didn't stay all that long. It's nice having friends who dance and don't really care how they look dancing. Makes it much easier to look silly yourself.

Oh. The pretty pretty outfit I wore -- corset-y top, black skirt, heels -- was indeed pretty. But the corset shirt did not pass the basic requirement of being mostly comfortable... I couldn't really bend over or sit down normally, and while dancing the wires that gave it its shape decided that jabbing into me would be fun. So when I took it off, there were red marks around my ribs. Owie.

Now time for a shower and work. It's a beautiful day out, so I think I'll be doing my reading outside and possibly getting a bit tan.

Further proof that I'm just too emo to always agree with Pitchfork: They gave Rainer Maria's Long Knives Drawn a 4.4, and I think it's a really good album.

Started out good
Started out bad
I still wanted a taste
Of what I already had

The fruit is golden
When it falls from the tree
And it's spoiled by the time it gets to me

It's a dilemma
Of girls and boys for centuries
Should I be with you?
Should I forget about me?

First it feels right
Then you stay up all night worrying
It's the awful truth of loving

Could've been noble
But it started out fast
They say that kind of thing
Will never last

The peach is perfect
When it falls from the tree
And bruised by the time it gets to me

It's a dilemma
Of boys and girls for centuries
Do I really know you?
Do you really need me?

First it feels right
Then you write a novel worrying
About the awful truth of loving

And by the time
You bide your time
A year goes by
And you don't act any older

And by the time
You bide your time
A year goes by
And you don't act any older

And when the stakes are high
I'm careless with the dice
And now it seems like
I'm pushing my luck all the time


-- Lyrics from "The Awful Truth of Loving" by Rainer Maria

It's possible that the entity known as Kitlay to some is no more. I'm not sure -- it's kind of unclear. But if it's true, well... Weirdness.

In other news, not much. I should be doing work right now, but I'm not. At least I'm doing laundry... That counts as productive.

I mentioned the life drawing session to Siyuan, since I knew she went last time. She has convinced me to go. So charcoal and naked person, here I come.

So today was good. Lunch with Joy, nap, dinner, walking in the Crum (the mud tried to eat my flip-flops; next time I will be more prepared, perhaps), Kill Bill 2, hanging out, Soul Calibur II.

Tomorrow is Screw, and of course work. There's an open life drawing session tomorrow afternoon that I'm considering going to... It would be cool, but I should also probably spend that time doing actual work, or laundry or something. We'll see.

Now, to get more sleep. Because sleep is good.

I had lunch with Joy today, and it was wonderful. Lunch with friend + kitten + Cherry Garcia = happy Jen. I'm also a sleepy Jen, though, so now it is time for me to curl up for a nap.

Oh. Almost forgot. The library is not evil, just silly. They're holding a meeting next week to figure out how many people they need this summer, who they're going to hire, etc. The librarian I talked to today wasn't even aware that the summer housing lottery was Thursday, or that having a job or not decided when you got to pick your room. The meeting is scheduled for Thursday, but she said that she would try to get it rescheduled for earlier in the week because of the housing lottery. So I may have a job there yet. I also turned in my admissions job application anyway, and have the interview for that on Wednesday -- before I know about the library job, no doubt. So we shall see what happens.

And now, to nap!

The admissions office is sneaky. I signed up to be a host for prospective students last semester, and I hosted 2 or 3 specs. Then they never called me. Now I have an email reminding me that I have to host for Ride the Tide as well, since I'm a registered host. Ah well. I've got plenty of room, so it's not really a problem. Just unexpected, because I had forgotten it was part of the agreement.

Done watching Scarface... I was not overly impressed. I've revised portions of my paper, but I have to finish it up. So that is what I shall do now.

Yay for Robert! I was stressed and upset, so I left my stuff in Cornell and went for a walk. I knew Kyle was in seminar, so I couldn't talk to him. I tried calling home, but I got the answering machine. So I wandered into the science center and went by Paley's lab just in case... And Robert was in there, working on the computer. I went in, and he calmed me down, and told me it would be okay. If I didn't get the library or the admissions job, I could see if there was anything else available on campus. And if there wasn't, he said he could help me look for jobs in bookstores and music stores in the surrounding area, perhaps in Philly. And that made me feel a lot better. And Kyle also suggested that I could see if the area library had positions available, even if they were just on a volunteer basis. After all, an unpaid internship and volunteer work? Pretty similar.

So I feel better now, and I'm going to go by the library tomorrow and see if I can get an answer out of someone. Now I'm going to watch Scarface while revising my classics paper... (by hand, unfortunately, as I need the computer to watch the movie) And then later tonight I need to read for English, and then go to bed and sleep.

All of the sudden a massive headache has appeared out of nowhere. My paper is staring at me, needing to be revised, and I just don't want to do it. *sigh* I'm tired of work, but right now I don't want the summer to come, because I don't really know what I'm doing yet. That lack of set plans is making me worried and panicky and upset. I have this fear that I won't actually DO anything this summer, and that makes me very unhappy. I slacked off last summer. I don't want to do that this year. The idea of jobs and such is creeping up on me, and I want to add to my resume so I can get a decent internship next summer... And right now, the chance of doing that this summer is completely up in the air. I expressed interest in the summer library work early, I turned in my app weeks ago, and they haven't said a damn thing to me about it. It pisses me off -- I want to know so I can plan for something else if I need to. Don't they know they're dealing with half-crazed, stressed, overachieving Swatties?

*whimper* I can't work on this paper right now. I need to go for a walk or something, try to figure things out. *sigh*

Second day in a row that I've warn a skirt. This trend will end tomorrow, no doubt, when it gets a bit cooler again.

Finished the latest puzzle in Cornell just a few minutes ago. Now there is no distraction from my work. Damn.

No word from the library yet, which is making me grumpy. Maybe they're not hiring me but don't want to actually tell me? Either way, I picked up an application for a summer job at admissions... Problem is there are only 3 spots available, and I don't have tour guide experience. There, things are not in my favor. Maybe I can pull off a spectacular interview and convince them otherwise. Or maybe they'll let me know about the library before my interview and I'll be off the hook. Or maybe I need to go to the library and demand information. I emailed them, but that doesn't seem to have done anything.

And if they both fall through? Stay here, I guess, look for random summer job at Borders or something... Maybe go home after we move into the new house, get to help redecorate and such. I don't know. I really just want the library thing to work -- it'll make everything so much easier.

Time to actually do work -- I have a classics paper to revise, whee.

The joy of a decently written WA draft: an easy revision process. Mmm... So nice.

First off, today? So beautiful. Days like this make me happy to be here even when I'm stressed and busy... The campus is just too, too pretty. I had acting in the amphitheater -- we sat around and read Othello out loud, and it was nice. I actually got some sun, so I am not as ridiculously pale as I was this morning, when the sight of my legs was a bit blinding.

Still no word from the library. Grr... I'm going to go to the admissions office tomorrow and pick up an application for that, I think. Just in case... *worries*

Alright, time to revise my philosophy paper.

I would just like to say that TV on the Radio's Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes is an amazing album, and "Staring at the Sun' is a simply fantastic song.

Now back to work.

My body has taken matters into it's own hands, it seems. Despite setting my alarm for 7:15 am, I just woke up recently. I was going to skip classics anyway, though I had been planning on going to English. However, I will gladly take this as a sign and go back to bed for awhile...

Let's start off with a little blasphemy, shall we? Blaspha-me, blaspha-you, blaspha-everybody! (Ah, Eddie Izzard...)

If I were God over LiveJournal... by shinikami
Username
Jesus would be	queyla
The four archangels would be	sinsofthedove
and	etoanshirdlu
and	aridice
and	wkndnmnaco
The Blessed Virgin would be	aleaders
Satan would be	stillsputtering
The antichrist would be	pekkiou
And YOU would be	Dead
Quiz created with MemeGen!

So I'm God, but I'm also dead. Nietzsche and Trent Reznor would approve. And I, despite my deadness, would be dating Satan. And the Virgin Mary and Jesus would be dating... And Maki, Maki of all people, would be the Antichrist. The Satan/Sin/Death triad of Paradise Lost has nothing on this.

On to more normal things... Like my radio show playlist. Very mellow tonight, as I'm not doing all that well. I need like a day to just sleep. I also need my work to magically disappear. Neither is happening any time soon.

Belle and Sebastian - I’m a Cuckoo
Wilco - How to Fight Loneliness
The Shins - Turn a Square
The Decemberists - The Tain
* Iron and Wine - Evening on the Ground (Lilith’s Song)
* American Analog Set - Play Hurt
#* Tullycraft - Sad, Sad Day (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
That Dog - Holidays
* Laura Veirs - Ether Sings
Ani DiFranco - Up Up Up Up Up Up
Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
Tori Amos - Caught a Lite Sneeze
* British Sea Power - Be Gone
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Badly Drawn Boy - Born Again
Elliot Smith - Ballad of Big Nothing
Final Fantasy - An Arrow in the Side of Final Fantasy
Sufjan Stevens - Romulus
* Radar Bros. - Is That Blood
Mojave 3 - Prayer for the Paranoid
#* Nick Drake - One of These Things First (off the Garden State soundtrack)
Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) (off the Kill Bill, Vol. 1 soundtrack)
#* Marianne Faithfull - The Mystery of Love
#* Ben Lee - Ache for You
Poe - Amazed
#* Remy Zero - Fair (off the Garden State soundtrack)

Very few playlist songs, but whatever. It was nice.

Sleep eventually, possibly some reading now...

Interestingly, when I write on Sartre, my language becomes almost as convoluted as his. Maybe it's some weird innate feature of philosophy? Or at least of his philosophy?

"One key point in the section entitled “Possibility” is the notion that the possibilities available to a person are dependent upon that person to sustain them. The possibilities that I am considering become my possibilities, and they have no existence outside of my conciousness. To mantain one of my possibilities, it is neccessary to maintain a self or essence that in turn maintains the possibility, that continually recreates the possibility as my possibility."

That is my opening of my 1 page response paper that I'm working on, and it's likely to just go downhill from here...

Of course I haven't finished the Sartre reading yet -- I've been letting myself get distracted. I always do.

One thing that distracted me was filling out the application for the rock director position at WSRN. Yep, I'm going to try for it again. We'll see what comes of it. I know that it's a bit of a time commitment, and that being an RA will eat up some time, and that this semester was busy already... But I think next semester will be better. For starters, I'll have 3 hours more outside of class (acting is 6 hours of class per week rather than the normal 3)... Also, I should have less reading. Philosophy of Religion will be a hefty chunk of reading, no doubt, and Lyric Encounters will have some, as will Playwriting, no doubt. But it should be less than this semester, and it will be different stuff. Also, I'll have art to break it up, which will be nice. And Fridays will stretch out gloriously before me, with no classes to mar their beauty.

This is all if I get the classes I want, of course. Lyric Encounters may get lotteried, and I'm betting Life Drawing may too. Playwriting will be okay, I think, and Philosophy of Religion should be fine. But hopefully through crossed fingers (and puppy dog faces and earnest begging if need be) I'll get everything I want. We'll see.

Now for reading, really.

So. My parents bought a house. It's in Innsbrook, about 45 minutes outside of St. Louis. This, as you have probably already figured out, means that my family will be moving. It's kind of weird, but the house is really cool, so that's nice. But it does mean that I've probably spent my last break in Quincy ever. I may be back to help move stuff, and maybe try to stop by other times, but... By and large, Quincy has officially been consigned to the past.

It's kind of been happening already. I think the last break I referred to going back to Swat as going home, actually. Of course, in two more years that will change too, but I don't really want to think about that yet. The idea of being grown up is kind of weird. Wait, more than kind of weird... It's very weird and a bit scary. I like some aspects of being older, but the notion of a job/career and heading out on my own and all of that is just... intimidating, I guess.

But now is not the time to dwell on that. I'm tired, and I have more Sartre to read before I can let myself go to sleep.

Pasta bar and puzzles are turning out to be my weaknesses. They could be my downfall. (Not really sure how, but I suppose it could happen...)

What's more likely to be my downfall is my desire to slack off. Of course, it won't actually be my downfall -- as Emily said last week, the work always gets done. (This of course does not apply to things like reading, but it does hold true for papers and such)

A slightly better week ahead of me, with Screw to look forward to. Still, the rest of this month is going to be pretty busy. And then classes will be over, and I'll have final papers to look forward to. Woot.

After wavering back and forth due to the yucky weather, I decided to stick with the original plan and go to the formal. I'm glad I did -- it was a lot of fun. I got to hang out and chat with people, drink champagne, and had a generally fun time. It was only from 9-11, so I also had time to do other things as well. All in all, an excellent evening.

Tomorrow -- work, of course. Curse daylight savings and the loss of an hour. That's one more hour I could have spent working (or more likely, sleeping or slacking off...) Bah. On the plus side, of course, is the fact that it will stay light longer, which is always nice.

Some reading for me, I think, then to sleep.

My pretty outfit (rose corset top, black skirt, heels) may have to wait until Screw next weekend to be worn. Damn you rain, and damn you shoes for being inappropriate to wear in the rain. I will have to find a substitute outfit that I can wear with my knee-high boots, because those are okay in the rain.

God, I feel like such a girly girl right now...

Time to head up to campus for my WA conference. Whee...

It's rainy and grey. Blarg.

My entire family (plus 1) is going to be here during family weekend. Originally, my parents were coming. Then one of my brothers and his girlfriend decided to come. Now the other brother is coming as well. It should be fun.

The weekend after that is Ride the Tide, which Saka will be at.

Yay for people!

I saw the student production of 12th Night last night... It was fantastic. I enjoyed it immensely. People were very well cast, most of the acting was quite good, and the costumes were beautiful. Any Swatties who weren't already planning on going -- go.

Also finally got around to watching Kill Bill, Vol. 1 last night. I will eventually watch the second one as well, and then feel caught up on some pop culture. The lack of realness in regards to much of the violence was amusing. Really, do human bodies even contain that much blood?

Tonight: possibly the Grapevine/Sticks and Stones concert, possibly the jazz ensemble concert. Not sure which is going to win out. Then, hopefully the WRC's women-only formal party. Getting dressed up, eating chocolate-covered strawberries, and having girly drinks? Totally my idea of a fun night, especially if I convince more people to come with me. And I've been needing a reason to break out the pretty rose corset-style top, and this is exactly the type of occasion to do it.

Now: shower, food, work. The coming week shouldn't be as bad as last, but I still shouldn't slack off too much this weekend.

Congrats to my mom for pulling a very successful April Fool's joke on me. I thought maybe my parents had gone crazy when she told me they had decided to try to buy this house, but I never suspected it was a joke.

Alright, it's a gorgeous day outside, but I'm not going to make use of it. Instead, I'm going to take a nap, because I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. But yay for having my windows open and having nice breezes come in.

Victory is mine! And so will another 2 hours of sleep or so. Woot!

Took an hour nap, am now done with page 3 and moving into my last major point. There's a chance I'll be able to squeeze in another nap, but right now my goal is to get this done with, make it through class and lunch, and then come back home to collapse.

Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl Which isn't a bad thing at all You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions. You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Girly girl? I'm not sure if I'd go that far...

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 40% of the population. You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are 45% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Mostly? Hmm... Only if strangers are around. And even then...

Alright, enough of this. Time to get back to work... 1 page fully written, the rest outlined. Motivation has gone somewhere far, far away, and it seems like it's going to stay there. This is a painful process without it.

Still letting myself get distracted, but does that really come as any surprise?

Mo... Molybdenum
You scored 45 Mass, 36 Electronegativity, 58 Metal, and 10 Radioactivity!

I like to think of you as the miracle worker in The Princess Bride... you can do anything and you do it for the betterment of society. Just because you can raise the dead and make flying wagons and stuff doesn't mean that you show off about it though. You are capable of forming bizarre webs of relationships in which individuals are accomplices, lovers, coworkers, and so on all at once. I once saw you hanging out at the center of a cycloheptatriene... it was completely freakish and bizarre, and I'm not sure I've known what to think of you since. But hey, to each their own. Oh, and stay away from the carbon monoxide... you suck that stuff up.

The Which Chemical Element Am I Test

Work now. Really.

I am officially an English Literature major. Woot.

I also got sucked in by the latest puzzle in Cornell instead of writing my classics paper. Not woot. However, the puzzle is done (it was easy, everything after the pink puzzle seems so simple), so at least I accomplished something, right?

Time to write.

My WA draft of my philosophy paper is done, coming in at a bit under 6 full pages. It's back to bed for me now, thank goodness.

It's almost 4 am. I took a nap, woke up at 3 am to work on my paper more. Despite the hour, the guy next to me is still up. That would be fine, except for the fact that he is up and singing... And sounds kind of like a banshee. I can't explain it, but his wordless (as far as I can tell, the walls muffle it slightly) song is quite possible the most annoying thing ever when I'm trying to work. It's practically headache inducing... Yet I don't feel like I can really tell him to stop. Well, maybe now, just because it's so late, but during normal waking hours, not so much.

Time to break out the headphones, I think.

I don't even know the girl. I may have seen her in the breakfast room, but that's it. And she's doing okay, it was only 8 pills, only 8 Tylenol... She's going to be fine. So why are my eyes welling up with tears?

Must not think about it, must not think about it. I have to finish the paper, then either sleep or do reading.

I want this week to be over.

The productive drive of yesterday has faded. I am tired, I want to sleep, I want to sit and do nothing. Of course, I can't. I'm working on my philosophy paper at the moment -- I gathered most of my thoughts yesterday, and now I'm starting the actual writing. I have the introduction done at the moment, which is kind of 2 pronged: this is what Nietzsche says, and this is what I think about it. So that's about 2/3rds of a page there. Now I just need about 4 more pages before tomorrow...

Radio show tonight:

#* The Decemberists - 16 Military Wives
A.C. Newman - Better Than Most
Interpol - PDA
Driver of the Year - The Vamp, Stars, & Bars
Spoon - Back to the Life
Super Furry Animals - Venus and Serena
#* Everybody Else - I Gotta Run (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun
* The Unicorns - Les Os
Beulah - Wipe Those Prints and Run
* 13 and God - Men of Station
#* I Live the Life of a Movie Star Hideout - Indochine Kru (Come and See) (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
Elliot Smith - The Enemy is You
Pedro the Lion - Promise
* You Me & Iowa - Runways & Freeways
* The Evens - Shelter Two
* Prosiacs - Teeth
Nirvana - Stay Away
Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds
Zeitmahl - Girl Unknown
A Perfect Circle - Judith
AFI - Ever and a Day
Filter - Hey Man Nice Shot
Lo Fidelity Allstars - Battleflag
Switchblade Symphony - Witches
Fischerspooner - Emerge
* Louis XIV - Finding Out True Love is Blind
* The Futureheads - Alms
#* The Decemberists - The Mariner’s Revenge Song (an actual phoned-in request! *le gasp*)

Bed now, another productive day (hopefully) tomorrow.

Finished book 2 of the Aeneid, and my brain is shutting down. I think I'll have to forgo the 3rd book for now. I'll try to read it between English and classics class tomorrow; we probably won't get that far in discussion anyway. So I guess I got almost everything done today that I wanted to. Yay, I guess, but a week of days like this is going to be very, very not fun.

Done with the Eliot reading, now back to the Virgil. Still feeling nauseous.

I miss the days when feeling bad meant being cared for by someone else instead of forcing yourself to go on in spite of everything.

I have a strong desire for Tang, but none is to be had.

2 hours until radio show, 4 hours until I can head home, ? hours until I go to bed.

Things I've managed to get done today:

Response paper on the Ives plays
A sort of outline/gathering of thoughts for my philosophy paper
Read the first book of the Aeneid (30 of the 90 pages I need to read for tomorrow)

I have not taken a nap, despite very strong urges from my body to do so. My body is unhappy in general. I've felt nauseous for most of the day [this space available for any bad jokes about me reading Sartre's Nausea for class today and then feeling nauseous]... I haven't felt like I was about to vomit, but like I was on the verge of feeling on the verge of being sick. It's an unpleasant sensation, especially when added onto being tired (I was up until 3:30 am finishing Nausea) and having a headache (most likely from stress). I've tried Sprite and crackers, and neither has pacified the beast. *sigh*

In theory I probably should have gone to the poetry reading that is currently taking place. However, I know that had I gone, I would have struggled to stay awake. My energy will be better spent either forging ahead in the Aeneid or starting on T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets... The large print and slim spine of the poetry book appeals to me, and since I have English before classics tomorrow, I should probably get that work done first.

Off to work.

So I think I've decided how I'm going to have to get through this week, and possibly next. Very good focus, very little sleep, and lots of caffeine.

On my list for this week:

WA draft of philosophy paper due Thurs
WA draft of classics paper due Fri
3 page response to Ives plays for acting, theoretically due Wed
Decide what classes I'm taking next semester
Read first 3 books of the Aeneid for Wed
Read T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets for Wed
Watch original Scarface for Fri
Read more Sartre for Thurs

Should be done this week but probably won't be:

Finish reading An Actor Prepares, write response paper, theoretically due yesterday
Write response paper on Sartre reading
Write draft of English paper
Reply to various emails

*curls up in ball, whimpers*

Only a month of classes left...

On the non-school front;

Sims 2 for Macs will be out in May, supposedly. As soon as it comes out, I will probably get it, and then my free time during the summer will be CONSUMED.

They're making a Soul Calibur III - PS2 only (sorry Gamecube users). It's supposed to be out sometime this year, not sure when. 3 new characters AND the option to create your own character (Oh man, that will be so cool!)... It's also supposed to have a few new gameplay modes, which could be cool.

I'm excited. :)

My to-do list is out of control. Dear god, I want it to be summer soon.

Curses! Thwarted again! Turns out that you can only take one creative writing workshop at a time... So I will have to chose between Grendel's Workshop and Lyric Encounters. I think I may sign up for both and see what happens with lotteries. The unfortunate thing is that whichever one I chose will be the only one I get to take -- they won't be offered again in my time here. So the question is: which do I want to take more?

If I take Lyric Encounters, I can take the Playwriting Workshop as well (I don't think it's counted in the workshop limit, as it is not an English course). However, playwriting will probably be offered again the next semester, I think, so that's not really a deciding factor.

Lyric Encounters is, in theory, similar to the Poetry Workshop... But to get into that, you need to submit a portfolio -- I tried that once already and was turned down.

I've taken a lot of poetry classes here, so doing something very different (i.e. Grendel's Workshop) could be very cool. However, the reason I've taken a lot of poetry classes is because I really like them.

The prof for Lyric Encounters is Nat, who is perhaps one of my favorite profs ever. I don't really know the other one, Williamson, though I do know that he teaches various pre-1830s classes.

If I do Grendel's Workshop, then I'll most likely end up taking Costume Design. If I do Lyric Encounters, I'll probably take playwriting. Until I learn about the sewing requirements of Costume Design, I can't really commit myself to it.

The chance to write poetry and get better at it is very tempting. The chance to write prose and force myself to expand in that direction is also tempting. Same goes for playwriting.

I have a feeling this will be decided by the sewing involved in the costume design class and/or the outcome of lotteries. Hopefully I'll end up with one, at least. Getting lotteried out of both would suck...

It would also mess up with a newly-hatched scheme: the possibility of having a Creative Writing Emphasis. It's only 3 credits, generally 2 workshops and a directed creative writing project. If I do Lyric and Playwriting, I have the 2 workshops and would try to do the project during senior fall, I think. If I do Grendel, I'd hopefully take Playwriting the next semester and still try to do the project senior fall. However... "Admission into the program will depend on the quality of the student's written work and the availability of faculty to supervise the work." So... I don't know. But taking creative writing classes will be cool, even if I don't end up with an emphasis.

Time to fetch laundry.

Alright, so here's what I'm thinking for next semester:

Grendel's Workshop - New Texts from Old... A writing class, spent reworking fairy tales, etc. Should be cool, but I may get lotteried out. If I do, then I turn to the Playwriting Workshop.

Life Drawing... Yay art!

Philosophy of Religion... The one part of my intro religion course that I really enjoyed was focused on this sort of stuff, so it should be interesting.

Costume Design... This could be really interesting, and I could see it as a throwback to the days when I wanted to be a fashion designer. Yes, I did want that. I wrote a paper on it in 8th grade. Then I realized I probably would never be able to sew that well. On a related note, taking this course will hinge on how much sewing is involved, how much sewing experience is expected, etc. Or I may throw caution to the wind and take it not matter what. We'll see.

Ballet I... Yes, ballet. I would take this as a gym class. Other possibility, if I chicken out, would be to just do fitness training again. But taking ballet could be really cool.

So, my schedule for next semester could look like this:

Monday: Nothing. Repeat after me: nothing. Oh, bliss!

Tuesday: Life Drawing, 8:30-11:10 am... Painful but worth it, I think. And it's not like I'll have to be nicely dressed for class.
Philosophy of Religion, 1:15-2:30 pm
Ballet or fitness training, 2:40-3:55 pm

Wednesday: Grendel's Workshop or Playwriting Workshop, 1:15-4 pm
Choir, 7:15-9:45 pm... That's right, I'm going back. I want to sing.

Thursday: Same as Tuesday

Friday: Costume Design, 2:15-5:15 pm

So the 8:30s are scary, but made up by having nothing on Monday and nothing before lunch on Wednesday or Friday. Same for having a late afternoon class on Friday. The scary thing is that I won't have a "real" English class -- Grendel's Workshop would count as an English credit, but it's a creative writing class rather than what I'm used to. And if that falls through, playwriting is technically a theatre course. The idea of not having an English lit class is scary, the idea of not having any class in my major at all is even scarier. However, if I get into Grendel and then take all the other English courses I'm planning on, I will meet all the requirements, plus have an extra English credit. If I don't, I'll meet all the requirements and still be okay. And it looks like I'll be taking 2 English courses per semester after next fall anyway, so that should make up for it guilt-wise.

Still, the idea is scary, since I don't know if the courses I want to after this semester will conflict. At the same time, there just aren't many English lit classes that I want to take next semester -- most of the classes are First Year Seminars or real seminars, which are either unavailable to me or just too damn long, and the ones that are left... Well, they just don't excite me so much.

Looking over the offerings again, there is one other possibility to think of: Lyric Encounters, another writing course. 1, it's with Nat, who is an amazing prof. 2, it seems a lot like the poetry workshop only with "substantial literary analysis" added on, and without the portfolio submission requirement. So maybe I'll do that instead of costume design?

That would make my schedule look like this:

Monday: Lyric Encounters, 1:15-4 pm

Tuesday: Life Drawing, 8:30-11:10 am
Philosophy of Religion, 1:15-2:30 pm
Ballet or fitness training, 2:40-3:55 pm

Wednesday: Grendel's Workshop or Playwriting Workshop, 1:15-4 pm
Choir, 7:15-9:45 pm

Thursday: Same as Tuesday

Friday: No classes!

And to be honest, isn't a Friday without classes even better than a Monday without classes? And if I do Lyric Encounters AND Grendel's Workshop, the only English requirement I'll have to make sure to get is the pre-1830s ones, which I can manage -- the post-1830s is a piece of cake as I only need one more. And if I don't get into Grendel's, I'd still be in an English class. And if I don't get into either, then I panic briefly and fill the slots in with theatre classes, hopefully, and still manage to fulfill my major requirements in the following semesters.

Okay. So here's what I'm hoping to take next semester:

Academic classes: Lyric Encounters, Grendel's Workshop, Life Drawing, Philosophy of Religion
Other credits: Choir, Ballet I

Rock.

I have been deceived. Well, not really. But one of the courses I was planning on taking next semester, one that was supposed to be offered, is apparently not being offered. It was, unfortunately one of the pre-1830s courses that I need for my major. I could take Shakespeare instead, but I really wanted to do that next fall, when Nora is teaching it. But I need another pre-1830s class now. Semester after next I'm tentatively taking 2 post-1830s classes, and I don't want to give either of those up. Fall semester of senior year I want to take Shakespeare... I don't really want to do the seminar, though that would give me both credits I need. There are a few other options of things I could take, but none of them sound super-thrilling... And the idea of doing both my pre-1830s classes in one semester is less than ideal, because, well, I just don't like that stuff as much. At the same time, leaving a requirement until spring of my senior year makes me worried -- plus, none of those options sound very thrilling.

So I think I'm toying between going with a) the Shakespeare seminar or b) doing the Shakespeare course and the Beowulf to Milton survey in Fall 2006.

Pros for option a) Get both credits at once, read lots of Shakespeare, should be able to get in because I'll be a senior major
Cons for option b) Read lots of Shakespeare (2 plays a week), have a 4 hour long class, may have trouble getting in since I'm not an honors major

Pros for option b) Non-seminar courses, shouldn't have trouble getting into the survey course since it's a core course and is therefore fairly large
Cons for option b) 2 pre-1830s at once

I could substitute Lyric Poem in English for the survey course, but I'm not sure about that. I like the prof, but it focuses on the elements of poetry that I'm not as interested in -- namely the rhythm, the syllables, the effect that has. I did some of it in my Modern American Poetry class (it was the same professor), and while it was interesting, I'm not sure how well I'd do with it when it's an entire class. Also, it apparently will feature an in-depth study of one poet as part of the course... And I don't know who that poet will be.

I guess I'll be putting this decision on hold until this time next year... Now to find a replacement for the course I thought I was going to take, as well as a backup in case I get lotteried out of the writing course I want to take. Gah.

I just sent an email to all of my profs saying that I won't be in class today because I don't feel well. And it's true. I don't. I don't feel sick, exactly, but just tired and unable to do much of anything. I just can't make myself get up and think and actually DO anything...

I love Interpol (even if they didn't play "Obstacle 2")... They sounded amazing, the lead singer is fantastic, and Carlos is a very cool bass player. Blonde Redhead opened, and they were great as well. A very good concert, all in all, and we only got a little lost on the way there and managed to get unlost on the way back okay. Curses to unclear directions and small street signs. Yay to me for being able to back up nicely in a big pickup trick. And yay again to Interpol for just being so damn cool.

Work now, while I'm still energetic, then sleep. I need a weekend to recover from this weekend...

It seems that my Sager experience was a bit tamer than some of my friends'. But then I wasn't at Olde Club in the end, when it became a happy groping fest... I did have a fantastic time with my boyfriend and faux boyfriend (Kyle and Rob, respectively), and am really glad I went.

Off to shower, then to brunch, then to WORK. Oh, so much work to be done... Arg.

Sager tonight. We went early, to keep Robert company as he tended the bar from 10 to 11 pm. We took in both venues (Paces and Olde Club), and had a grand old time. I think we left around 12:30 or 1 am, not really sure. I had a lot of fun, and it made me wonder why I don't do things like this more often.

Also, I met Sager himself. Seemed like a very nice guy, quite cool with the whole thing.

To sleep now, to work tomorrow, to concert tomorrow night. Woot!

And so the busy weekend begins.

Yesterday I had class, lunch, and then settled down to label my spring break photos and watch Godfather III. Sophia Coppala is a much better director than actress, I discovered. After that it was time for a nap, then dinner, then a brief bit of work, then the Mixed Company concert with University of Chicago's Ransom Notes, then a party with the groups afterwards. It was fun -- we got into a debate over which school was geekier. I don't think we ever declared a winner. Latkes were made and were delicious, Jager tastes like black licorice and reminded me of the Swedish candy (minus the immense saltiness), and I was in bed by 12:30 because I was just too tired to continue.

Today: brunch, prejudice reduction workshop, dinner, All in the Timing, Sager.
Tomorrow: brunch, work work work, dinner, drive to Philly, Interpol.

Busy busy busy, but also a whole lot of fun.

I have a car for Sunday night! And I have Fischerspooner to listen to, and access to more interesting music! And I need to read the first half of Jason and the Golden Fleece!

Okay, so there's no real excitement about the last one, but the other 2 make me very, very happy.

I just got back from watching the musical Dance Dangerously, which was written, music, lyrics, script, etc. by a senior. The music was fantastic, and the show was funny, but the overall plot was kind of eh. Still, a good time. And there were puppets in the balcony making comments at time. A rip-off of The Muppet Show, sure, but fun anyway.

To work!

And Saka got into Swat! WOOT! You better come, Erik, or there will be sadness for me.

It's weird how much the sound of my radio show can change over the course of 2 hours. Tonight started off very soft and even a bit folky, and by the end it was dance-punk.

The playlist:

#* Marianne Faithfull - In the Factory
U.N.K.L.E. - Rabbit in Your Headlights
Ulysses - The Falcon
* M. Ward - Lullaby + Exile
Belly - Someone to Die For
* Iron and Wine - Freedom Hangs Like Heaven
Fiona Apple - Window
#* Ben Lee - Gamble Everything for Love
#* The Decemberists - The Sporting Life
#* The Lucksmiths - Once Again (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
#* Dressy Bessy - Hey May (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
* Ida - Laurel Blues
Yo La Tengo - Autumn Sweater
Driver of the Year - Black as Soul
* Low - Step
TV on the Radio - Satellite
Interpol - Obstacle 2
The Unicorns - Sea Ghost
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Will You Smile Again?
# The Washdown - Learning Makes You Handsome
The Natural History - Watch This House
Desaparecidos - Greater Omaha
Elf Power - The Naughty Villian
#* Mates of State - Invitation Inn (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
The Rapture - Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks
* Death From Above 1979 - Blood on Our Hands
Sahara Hotnights - Walk on the Wire
Bloc Party - She’s Hearing Voices
* Mosquitos - Domesticada

Time to read some T.S. Eliot and then get some sleep.

Going to see Interpol on Sunday! Not sure how I'm getting there yet, but going anyway, somehow!

Oddly enough, Ticketmaster would not sell a single ticket. They would, however, sell me a pair of tickets. No idea why. But this means that Peter, who is considering going, cannot go unless he finds another person to go with him...

On a very related note: anyone with a car want to lend it to me and Siyuan? Or better yet, someone with a car want to go, killing 2 birds with 1 stone?

This will be a crazy weekend now: Thursday see the musical, Friday go to the Mixed Company show, Saturday see the play Emily is in as well as go to Sager, Sunday go see Interpol. Woohoo!

It's spring -- yay! It's raining -- grr!

I have become addicted to the anime Samurai Champloo... It's by the same guy who did Cowboy Bebop, and it's really, really good. I just watched about 9 episodes in a row, and I am now forcing myself to stop.

I've done no real work today. Yay for lazy Saturdays, but boo to the busy Sundays that inevitably follow them.

Better now. Sometimes you just need some sleep and to be around people you really like.

Feeling like an insignificant speck, despite all reason. I hate it when I get like this.

Fiona Apple recorded a album called Extraordinary Machine that Sony hasn't released because they say it doesn't have a marketable single. Silly Sony. You can get a leaked version here -- it's pretty good. There's a petition to Sony to get it released here.

Tomorrow is Friday. Yay weekend!

And happy St. Patrick's Day to anyone who cares.

Heidegger's Introduction to Being and Time: very interesting, but also kind of mind-numbing and dense. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm tired. Still, I'm kind of enjoying it when I can wrap my mind around it.

Back to reading.

I gave blood for my second time today. Once again, they determined that there are no veins in my left arm that are of use to them. So once again, my right arm, the arm I actually need to use, is achy. I look a bit like a junkie, I think, now that the bandage has been removed and the iodine has been washed off. All that's there is a red mark and a slowly growing bruise, accompanied by a dull ache.

On a somewhat related note: when washing off the iodine, which is yellowish on my arm, I looked at the paper towel I was using. It was turning bluish black. Anyone know what that is, why the color changes like that?

Not much else to say. Time to do work so that I can sleep. Yay sleep.

My two favorite pairs of jeans are, almost quite literally, falling apart at the seams. This is making me have to actually think about what I'm going to wear, which cannot be allowed. I will have to remedy the situation by buying new jeans to replace them. Luckily, the Gap has yet to discontinue that particular style, meaning that I should be able to do this without too much trouble (*knock on wood*)... And there is a Gap in the Springfield Mall on the Pike. Anyone up for an excursion to the mall this weekend?

Radio show was kind of lackluster tonight... Tiredness resulted in babbling at points. Whee. On to the playlist:

* Iron and Wine - Woman King
M. Ward - Poor Boy, Minor Key
A.C. Newman - Come Crash
#* Ben Lee - Begin
* Audible - October Song
Final Fantasy - Please Please Please
#* Cowboy - Kneebending (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
Bloc Party - This Modern Love
That Dog - Lip Gloss
Lemon Jelly - The Fruity Track
* Black Mountain - Modern Music
* Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight, Goodnight
Harvey Danger - Jack the Lion
#* The Features - Exhibit A
The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
Yo La Tengo - You Can Have It All
Wilco - I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
The Wrens - Faster Gun
* The Frames - Finally
Live - The Dolphin’s Cry
Nirvana - Lithium
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - The Rest Will Follow
* Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Lift Us Up
* Laura Viers - Cloud Room
* Low - Just Stand Back
* Bright Eyes - Take It Easy (Love Nothing)
* LCD Soundsystem - Movement
The Smiths - A Rush and a Push and the Land is Ours
The Cure - Boys Don’t Cry
Elf Power - Embrace the Crimson Tide
Beulah - If We Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart
* Louis XIV - Illegal Tender
Annie - Always Too Late

Fun stuff. Now to do as much reading as I can manage before I collapse.

Much amusement can be found at zefrank.com. I recommend the interactive stuff, especially the scribbler and the flake maker. Kill time and make pretty things, yay.

Walking up the hill from Mertz to catch the shuttle, I heard strange noises -- someone singing very loudly (and fairly poorly). A few more steps, and I could actually pick out the words -- "Scare your son, scare your daughter". That's when I cracked up laughing. I am not the only person on campus who walks around belting out The Arcade Fire.

In other news... Not much. I'm strangely tired, so I think I'll be going to bed early (for me). I was also strangely energetic during dinner and afterwards... I think the energy came from acting class -- we had a special voice class with a visiting person, and it was quite fun.

Radio show tomorrow, sleep now.

Happy early birthday to my dad.

The bathroom is attacking. The other side of the basement had issues with flooding before break, and now apparently it's our turn. Whee...

The soda machine and my body have formed a conspiracy against me. I fed the machine each and every one of my dollar bills in turn, and it rejected all of them. I don't have enough change to buy a soda that way. Rar. I shall have to stay awake through pure will power and the wonders of ice cold water. Woot.

Though it is not even 9:30 pm, my body is trying to encourage me to go to bed. I, however, have work to be done. I also normally stay up until 2 am. Obviously jet lag is to blame. Silly jet lag. Stupid body for being messed up by jet lag.

Off in search of caffeine, and then back to Sophocles' Ajax.

Came across another web comic through Questionable Content: Bunny. It's a simple one panel comic with a great sketch-like style. I devoured the archives quickly and have linked to it in my sidebar.

In true grade school fashion, I shall title this entry "How I Spent My Spring Break"

Please note: not mentioned, but always present are constant picture taking and double prices to convert them into dollars.

Friday, March 4: Go to classes. Pay some attention. Eat lunch. Go back to ML, do last minute packing. Take suitcases up to campus, hang out in Mertz. Go to train station. Catch train to Philly. Get on another train. Miss the train we wanted to take, the next train doesn't come. Finally get on a train. Much stress. Get to airport about 30 minutes before boarding. Stress. Get checked in, head to gate, where they are already boarding. Get on plane, sit between overly made up Russian woman and kind of sketchy English man. Watch Closer and I <3 Huckabees. Do not sleep at all.

Saturday, March 5: Get into Heathrow airport around 9 am London time. Get bags, go through customs. Sit around airport for a bit while waiting for shuttle. Take shuttle to hostel, feel nauseous the entire way. Thankfully do not vomit. Leave luggage at hostel because it's too early to check in. Go to ATM, discover the bank card I wanted to use will not work, have to use other one from account with significantly much less money. Jet lag plus this equals stress. Lunch helps. Check into hostel room. Give in to jet lag and stress, take nap while others wander around. Meet hostel roommates: 2 Swedish girls, Helen and Teresa (names Americanized for ease). Later meet Dennis, an American currently studying in Italy. Have dinner at a local pub, get a drink despite the cost, therefore cementing my "group lush" status (like it was ever in doubt). Sleep.

Sunday, March 6: Wake up at decent hour, but curse jet lag. Meet up with Maki, a Swattie who is studying in London this semester. Head towards the Tate, randomly passing bits of history on our way: a replica of the Golden Hinde (Sir Francis Drake's ship), the Clink Prison (which gave rise to the slang term), the Globe Theatre. Go to the Tate, discover that modern art does not hold my attention for very long. Tempted to go to the August Strindberg exhibit, but the cost prevents me. There wouldn't have been any mention of Helium anyway. We continue our wandering. See St. Paul's, London Eye, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament from a distance. Cross the interestingly-designed Millennium Bridge. Get lunch in a little cafe, go by Trafalgar Square, where there are far fewer pigeons than I remember. Go to the National Gallery, find that early art also does not hold my attention, but that my love for Impressionism is still strong. Admire the Monets and Van Gogh's most of all, am tempted by a t-shirt in the shop but refuse to pay the insane price. Wander through Picadilly Circus and down Oxford Street to Maki's dorm. She cooks us dinner, we worship her and make use of her free internet. We go to a local pub (I get a rum and coke), then take the Tube back to the hostel. Sore feet, but good day.

Monday, March 7: Wake up, endure cold shower. Head to the Tower of London, see the Tower Bridge on the way. Spend a great deal of time there. See the Crown Jewels -- twice; once from both sides since there wasn't a line. Am drawn to the sparkle. Hear stories of torture, am morbidly interested. Climb many spiral staircases, look at armour and old weapons. Leave Tower, go to a nice pizza place for lunch. Walk towards the Dali Universe, passing the London Eye on the way. Go to the Dali Universe. It has none of his famous paintings, but instead has sculptures, sketches, illustrations for books, water colors, and more. Decided Dali was weird and kind of crazy, but made some awesome art. Wander in the direction of the hostel, passing the Old Vic Theatre, which is advertising National Anthems, staring Kevin Spacey and Steven Weber. Emily decides to see if they still have tickets. They do, put the 12 pound student area only has bad seat left. The lady offers us the 40 pound normal floor seats for 15 pounds. We buy them, then have dinner at Tas, a kind of Mediterranean place. I decide that I love lamb. We head back to the theatre, see Kevin Spacey on the London Stage for about $30 each. The play is pretty good, Spacey is great. Head back to hostel, collapse.

Tuesday, March 8: Greg heads to Paris to visit a friend, Emily and Alex hang out with Maki, and Kyle and I go to Cambridge and visit my brother. We go via King's Cross Station, where they have Platfrom 9 and 3/4 set up with a luggage trolley going through the wall. Yay Harry Potter! Cambridge isn't too exciting, but the college buildings are interesting, and it was nice to see Ben. We have Thai for dinner, and I bring my trip drink total up to 3 with a hard cider. We head back to London fairly early, relishing the fact that we didn't spend the entire day walking.

Wednesday, March 9: Greg is still in Paris. The rest of us head to Portabello Road (home of the market seen in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. The big flea market isn't set up since it isn't Saturday, but there are still many shops to go into. I am pulled away from shoe stores, most likely for the best. Have lunch at a cafe. Go to a used book store that has a section of comics. I buy a copy of Sandman issue 6 from 1989, as well as a Sandman spinoff and another graphic novel that looks interesting. I decide that given my reaction to the comic/graphic novel section (i.e. I could not be pulled away until I was done) that maybe I should go into comic publishing. Vow to investigate the Fantagraphics internship for next summer. Wander through Kennsington Gardens and Hyde Park, go down Oxford Street, and kill time in Foyle's, a large independent book shop. We meet up with Greg, have a nice Italian dinner. We then go to the theatre, pick up our tickets for Festen, a play based off a Dogme 95 movie (something about very simplified production, etc... Alex and Kyle saw it in Intro Film Studies). We wander to a mall/entertainment complex to kill time, then head back to the theatre. The theatre next to ours is showing something with Joshua Jackson and Patrick Stewart, which just seems weird. We see our play, which has no one that I know acting in it. It's amazing, albeit disturbing, since it's about incest/molestation/suicide in a wealthy Danish family. Stop at a little shop to get desert (ice cream for me, cake for Greg, no one else partakes), then take the Tube back to the hostel, where the roommate situation has changed: Dennis has left, and no one has replaced him yet.

Thursday, March 10: Greg goes to southern Wales to see castles. Kyle and I go to the British Library (Alex and Emily went on Tuesday), see many old, nifty books. We take less time than we expected, wander down the streets in the drizzle, have lunch at a tiny cafe. We meet up with Emily, Alex, and Maki by St. Paul's. We wander through the cathedral, but I decide to opt out of the long climb to the top of the dome. I fall asleep in the nave while they climb -- I feel guilty but realize that I have done more sacrilegious things than that. After they return, I decide to head back to the hostel for a nap. Kyle comes with me, Alex and Emily wander the streets of London with Maki until she has to go on a tour with her school group. We (and 2 of Maki's friends and Greg) meet up for dinner at Wagamama, which is noisy and crowded but gives me such delicious ramen and chicken that I don't care. We go to a pub and get dessert (yay chocolate chip cheesecake), and I bring my lush total up to 4 with a double vodka and cranberry juice. We part ways with Maki, then take the Tube back to the hostel, where Craig from Australia has taken over Dennis' old spot. He's moved here with a friend, planning to get an apartment and a job and then see the rest of Europe in his free time. He apparently manages at least the first, because he says he has some leads on the apartment that night and then we don't see him again.

Friday, March 11: We head over to the Houses of Parliament, stand in line to get in and listen to the debates. We wait. People are let in, but not us. We are now at the head of the line. We wait. And wait. And wait. They're discussing their terror bill in the longest running session in history. There are groups that are sponsored by their member of Parliament that are getting in ahead of us. No one is leaving because the discussion is actually interesting, which means we can't get in. After 2 hours of standing in the cold dealing with the bitter wind, Kyle and I concede defeat. Emily, Alex, and Greg do not. Kyle and I find lunch and warmth, then go back to the line. It's been 45 minutes, and they're still there. They say there are rumors that people will be let in soon, since the House of Commons will start sitting soon (before it was the House of Lords). We wish them luck, say we'll see them later. We go to Westminster Abbey, then wander by Buckingham Palace. We head back to the hostel, passing through a market. We get fresh bread, Welsh cheese, and sheep's milk cheese for our dinner. I also get an amazing smoothie and a divine chocolate creation called a Chocolate Nemesis. We go back to the hostel, hang out. Emily and Greg return. They never got in, and eventually left so that Alex could meet up with a friend from high school who he was supposed to have dinner with. Alex eventually comes back, and the rest of the evening is spent playing cards, packing, etc.

Saturday, March 12: We get up, check out, take the Tube to Heathrow. We get checked in with minimal trouble, eat lunch in the airport, board the plane. We've managed to get seated near each other this time, and the plane is only 2/3rds full, so there's plenty of room to spread out. I knit and watch The Machinist. It's good but freaky. Christian Bale does a good job, but I wince every time I see him without his shirt on -- he lost a lot of weight to play the role, and is about 120 pounds or something in the movie... You can see every bone, and it's really scary. I nap. I wake up and knit more while watching Kinsey. We land, wait for our luggage, get through customs in no time. Alex's dad picks us up, drives us back to Swat. It's nice to be back.

Today: I went to bed around 12:30 and woke up around 5:30 am, and the jet lag wouldn't let me fall back asleep. So I got up and read web comics and such... Around 8 am I got tired again (my body thought it was 1 pm and wanted an afternoon nap), so I went back to sleep and got up around noon. I haven't done anything productive yet, and having a nice, long, warm shower was the highlight of my day thus far (yay cleanliness and not having to push a button every minute or 2 to keep the water running!) I'll unpack now, then go to dinner, then attack my work fiercely. Whee.

London trip by the numbers:
Miles walked: Too many. Ow, ow, ow.
Drinks: Only 4, 6 if you count the wine with meals on the planes. Some lush I am.
Plays seen: 2
Number of times Helen told us that reindeer are stupid: Lost count.
Number of Swedish girl jokes and South of France references made (Yay inside jokes!): More than were needed.
Postcards sent: 3
Hours spent on plane: 13 or so.
Money spent: Please don't remind me.
Fun had: So very much!

Things I already miss about London: not being on a set schedule, not having to do work, the accents, eating out every night, being able to drink legally.

Things I don't miss: cold showers, hitting my head on the bunk bed, flat pillows, the prices.

Things I appreciate now that I'm back here: my comfy bed, my own room, continuously running warm showers, lower prices.

It was a good trip.

Back in the States after a week in England. More details about what I did in London will follow -- most likely tomorrow when I procrastinate instead of doing my work. All in all, though, a very good trip.

All my stuff fit into the suitcase without any problem. This never happens with me. I'm slightly concerned -- I feel like I must have forgotten something. But I can't think of anything. Perhaps I've actually learned to pack well. Of course, I'll probably still end up with more stuff than anyone else, but whatever. For this moment at least I feel like I've packed well.

16 hours until the train leaves. 21 hours until the plane leaves. 28 hours or so until I'm in England. Wow.

This Russian flash animation of a sketch being done is incredible. It's about 5 min long and is just awesome. I don't want to describe it too much -- just watch it.

Finally got the letter -- I am an RA for next year! Woot! That's the great news. The okay news is that it's for ML basement, so I won't have any freshmen and I may end up with people who really don't want to be there. But that's okay -- I will adopt the rest of the freshmen, much like Jawaad has done this year. And I will win the others over. *happy dance*

And I found out that Jawaad has known since Sunday night and didn't tell me, just like Cuddles. Grr to both of you, should you ever read this. :)

Time for real work now, assuming my hands will stop shaking so much.

The article I ranted about last week has been retracted by The Phoenix for numerous reasons, many of them involving screwed up quotes, etc.

In other news, the RA Selection Committee is toying with me. There was nothing in my mailbox before lunch. There was nothing in my mailbox after lunch. Hopefully there will be something there when I check it on my way to class... Otherwise, sadness and a very frustrating philosophy class as I anxiously check the time, waiting to be able to run down to Parrish and check again. Gah.

I shouldn't look around my room and ponder how I can best rearrange it at 2 am. Because then I start rearranging it because I can't resist. On the plus side, I'm quite happy with the results.

RA announcements made today... I'll find out whenever I drag myself up to campus and check my mail. *crosses fingers*

I shouldn't look around my room and ponder how I can best rearrange it at 2 am. Because then I start rearranging it because I can't resist. On the plus side, I'm quite happy with the results.

RA announcements made today... I'll find out whenever I drag myself up to campus and check my mail. *crosses fingers*

Wow. I got an email from someone who had come across my website -- not this blog, but the actual never-updated website. I almost deleted it as spam, because I very rarely get actual mail to that email address. But since there were 2 emails, from the same person, with different, normal sounding subject lines, I decided to read them. And I'm glad I did, because hey, acknowledgment from an outside, unknown source is pretty cool. This may actually motivate me to do stuff with this site, like move it to SCCS to get rid of the ads, actually update it, etc. Of course, having time in which to do that would be useful. So maybe this summer... (I always say that, but maybe this time it'll actually happen...)

Things I want to do right now:

Knit
Sleep
Kill time online

Things I don't want to do:

Work

Guess which one I should be doing?

Oh work ethic, where did you go? I need you to come back...

Another radio show... Whee.

* Menocu - Legoland Trees
Built to Spill - Big Dipper
Elf Power - Skeleton
Iron and Wine - My Lady’s House
* Black Mountain - No Satisfaction
Low - Canada
Cat Power - Nude as the News
Spoon - Reservations
* Laura Viers - Icebound Stream
Wilco - Can’t Stand It
The Weakerthans - The Reasons
Yo La Tengo - Don’t Have to Be Sad
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Caterwaul
* The Fiery Furnaces - Here Comes the Summer
The Magnetic Fields - (Crazy for You But) Not That Crazy
Final Fantasy - That’s When the Audience Died
Man Man - Zebra
The Arcade Fire - Crown of Love
Crooked Fingers - Pigeon Kicker
* Damon & Naomi - Sometimes
#* Marianne Faithfull - Last Song
Grandaddy - A.M. 180
The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
Bloc Party - Banquet
Sahara Hotnights - Mind Over Matter
* Mob Stereo - Other Stepped In
Blur - Tracy Jacks
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Blue Lights
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt (Quiet)
* The Dead Science - Film Studio Collage

My mom got to listen to the whole thing, my brother said he was going to try to listen to it, and my boyfriend got to hear a little bit. I feel loved.

I don't, however, feel any love for whoever took some CDs from the playlist. They took the Iron and Wine EP (which I thankfully ripped last week, because it's amazing) and the Bonnie "Prince" Billy and Matt Sweeny CD, which I wanted to hear more of. Grr.

I took a nap this evening instead of doing work and going to a poetry reading. The nap helped a lot, though I do wish I had gotten to hear the poetry. Life goes on, I guess.

Now it's time to make up for the work I haven't done today. Gah.