It seems that my Sager experience was a bit tamer than some of my friends'. But then I wasn't at Olde Club in the end, when it became a happy groping fest... I did have a fantastic time with my boyfriend and faux boyfriend (Kyle and Rob, respectively), and am really glad I went.

Off to shower, then to brunch, then to WORK. Oh, so much work to be done... Arg.

Sager tonight. We went early, to keep Robert company as he tended the bar from 10 to 11 pm. We took in both venues (Paces and Olde Club), and had a grand old time. I think we left around 12:30 or 1 am, not really sure. I had a lot of fun, and it made me wonder why I don't do things like this more often.

Also, I met Sager himself. Seemed like a very nice guy, quite cool with the whole thing.

To sleep now, to work tomorrow, to concert tomorrow night. Woot!

And so the busy weekend begins.

Yesterday I had class, lunch, and then settled down to label my spring break photos and watch Godfather III. Sophia Coppala is a much better director than actress, I discovered. After that it was time for a nap, then dinner, then a brief bit of work, then the Mixed Company concert with University of Chicago's Ransom Notes, then a party with the groups afterwards. It was fun -- we got into a debate over which school was geekier. I don't think we ever declared a winner. Latkes were made and were delicious, Jager tastes like black licorice and reminded me of the Swedish candy (minus the immense saltiness), and I was in bed by 12:30 because I was just too tired to continue.

Today: brunch, prejudice reduction workshop, dinner, All in the Timing, Sager.
Tomorrow: brunch, work work work, dinner, drive to Philly, Interpol.

Busy busy busy, but also a whole lot of fun.

I have a car for Sunday night! And I have Fischerspooner to listen to, and access to more interesting music! And I need to read the first half of Jason and the Golden Fleece!

Okay, so there's no real excitement about the last one, but the other 2 make me very, very happy.

I just got back from watching the musical Dance Dangerously, which was written, music, lyrics, script, etc. by a senior. The music was fantastic, and the show was funny, but the overall plot was kind of eh. Still, a good time. And there were puppets in the balcony making comments at time. A rip-off of The Muppet Show, sure, but fun anyway.

To work!

And Saka got into Swat! WOOT! You better come, Erik, or there will be sadness for me.

It's weird how much the sound of my radio show can change over the course of 2 hours. Tonight started off very soft and even a bit folky, and by the end it was dance-punk.

The playlist:

#* Marianne Faithfull - In the Factory
U.N.K.L.E. - Rabbit in Your Headlights
Ulysses - The Falcon
* M. Ward - Lullaby + Exile
Belly - Someone to Die For
* Iron and Wine - Freedom Hangs Like Heaven
Fiona Apple - Window
#* Ben Lee - Gamble Everything for Love
#* The Decemberists - The Sporting Life
#* The Lucksmiths - Once Again (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
#* Dressy Bessy - Hey May (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
* Ida - Laurel Blues
Yo La Tengo - Autumn Sweater
Driver of the Year - Black as Soul
* Low - Step
TV on the Radio - Satellite
Interpol - Obstacle 2
The Unicorns - Sea Ghost
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Will You Smile Again?
# The Washdown - Learning Makes You Handsome
The Natural History - Watch This House
Desaparecidos - Greater Omaha
Elf Power - The Naughty Villian
#* Mates of State - Invitation Inn (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
The Rapture - Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks
* Death From Above 1979 - Blood on Our Hands
Sahara Hotnights - Walk on the Wire
Bloc Party - She’s Hearing Voices
* Mosquitos - Domesticada

Time to read some T.S. Eliot and then get some sleep.

Going to see Interpol on Sunday! Not sure how I'm getting there yet, but going anyway, somehow!

Oddly enough, Ticketmaster would not sell a single ticket. They would, however, sell me a pair of tickets. No idea why. But this means that Peter, who is considering going, cannot go unless he finds another person to go with him...

On a very related note: anyone with a car want to lend it to me and Siyuan? Or better yet, someone with a car want to go, killing 2 birds with 1 stone?

This will be a crazy weekend now: Thursday see the musical, Friday go to the Mixed Company show, Saturday see the play Emily is in as well as go to Sager, Sunday go see Interpol. Woohoo!

It's spring -- yay! It's raining -- grr!

I have become addicted to the anime Samurai Champloo... It's by the same guy who did Cowboy Bebop, and it's really, really good. I just watched about 9 episodes in a row, and I am now forcing myself to stop.

I've done no real work today. Yay for lazy Saturdays, but boo to the busy Sundays that inevitably follow them.

Better now. Sometimes you just need some sleep and to be around people you really like.

Feeling like an insignificant speck, despite all reason. I hate it when I get like this.

Fiona Apple recorded a album called Extraordinary Machine that Sony hasn't released because they say it doesn't have a marketable single. Silly Sony. You can get a leaked version here -- it's pretty good. There's a petition to Sony to get it released here.

Tomorrow is Friday. Yay weekend!

And happy St. Patrick's Day to anyone who cares.

Heidegger's Introduction to Being and Time: very interesting, but also kind of mind-numbing and dense. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm tired. Still, I'm kind of enjoying it when I can wrap my mind around it.

Back to reading.

I gave blood for my second time today. Once again, they determined that there are no veins in my left arm that are of use to them. So once again, my right arm, the arm I actually need to use, is achy. I look a bit like a junkie, I think, now that the bandage has been removed and the iodine has been washed off. All that's there is a red mark and a slowly growing bruise, accompanied by a dull ache.

On a somewhat related note: when washing off the iodine, which is yellowish on my arm, I looked at the paper towel I was using. It was turning bluish black. Anyone know what that is, why the color changes like that?

Not much else to say. Time to do work so that I can sleep. Yay sleep.

My two favorite pairs of jeans are, almost quite literally, falling apart at the seams. This is making me have to actually think about what I'm going to wear, which cannot be allowed. I will have to remedy the situation by buying new jeans to replace them. Luckily, the Gap has yet to discontinue that particular style, meaning that I should be able to do this without too much trouble (*knock on wood*)... And there is a Gap in the Springfield Mall on the Pike. Anyone up for an excursion to the mall this weekend?

Radio show was kind of lackluster tonight... Tiredness resulted in babbling at points. Whee. On to the playlist:

* Iron and Wine - Woman King
M. Ward - Poor Boy, Minor Key
A.C. Newman - Come Crash
#* Ben Lee - Begin
* Audible - October Song
Final Fantasy - Please Please Please
#* Cowboy - Kneebending (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
Bloc Party - This Modern Love
That Dog - Lip Gloss
Lemon Jelly - The Fruity Track
* Black Mountain - Modern Music
* Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight, Goodnight
Harvey Danger - Jack the Lion
#* The Features - Exhibit A
The Shins - Fighting in a Sack
Yo La Tengo - You Can Have It All
Wilco - I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
The Wrens - Faster Gun
* The Frames - Finally
Live - The Dolphin’s Cry
Nirvana - Lithium
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - The Rest Will Follow
* Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Lift Us Up
* Laura Viers - Cloud Room
* Low - Just Stand Back
* Bright Eyes - Take It Easy (Love Nothing)
* LCD Soundsystem - Movement
The Smiths - A Rush and a Push and the Land is Ours
The Cure - Boys Don’t Cry
Elf Power - Embrace the Crimson Tide
Beulah - If We Can Land a Man on the Moon, Surely I Can Win Your Heart
* Louis XIV - Illegal Tender
Annie - Always Too Late

Fun stuff. Now to do as much reading as I can manage before I collapse.

Much amusement can be found at zefrank.com. I recommend the interactive stuff, especially the scribbler and the flake maker. Kill time and make pretty things, yay.

Walking up the hill from Mertz to catch the shuttle, I heard strange noises -- someone singing very loudly (and fairly poorly). A few more steps, and I could actually pick out the words -- "Scare your son, scare your daughter". That's when I cracked up laughing. I am not the only person on campus who walks around belting out The Arcade Fire.

In other news... Not much. I'm strangely tired, so I think I'll be going to bed early (for me). I was also strangely energetic during dinner and afterwards... I think the energy came from acting class -- we had a special voice class with a visiting person, and it was quite fun.

Radio show tomorrow, sleep now.

Happy early birthday to my dad.

The bathroom is attacking. The other side of the basement had issues with flooding before break, and now apparently it's our turn. Whee...

The soda machine and my body have formed a conspiracy against me. I fed the machine each and every one of my dollar bills in turn, and it rejected all of them. I don't have enough change to buy a soda that way. Rar. I shall have to stay awake through pure will power and the wonders of ice cold water. Woot.

Though it is not even 9:30 pm, my body is trying to encourage me to go to bed. I, however, have work to be done. I also normally stay up until 2 am. Obviously jet lag is to blame. Silly jet lag. Stupid body for being messed up by jet lag.

Off in search of caffeine, and then back to Sophocles' Ajax.

Came across another web comic through Questionable Content: Bunny. It's a simple one panel comic with a great sketch-like style. I devoured the archives quickly and have linked to it in my sidebar.

In true grade school fashion, I shall title this entry "How I Spent My Spring Break"

Please note: not mentioned, but always present are constant picture taking and double prices to convert them into dollars.

Friday, March 4: Go to classes. Pay some attention. Eat lunch. Go back to ML, do last minute packing. Take suitcases up to campus, hang out in Mertz. Go to train station. Catch train to Philly. Get on another train. Miss the train we wanted to take, the next train doesn't come. Finally get on a train. Much stress. Get to airport about 30 minutes before boarding. Stress. Get checked in, head to gate, where they are already boarding. Get on plane, sit between overly made up Russian woman and kind of sketchy English man. Watch Closer and I <3 Huckabees. Do not sleep at all.

Saturday, March 5: Get into Heathrow airport around 9 am London time. Get bags, go through customs. Sit around airport for a bit while waiting for shuttle. Take shuttle to hostel, feel nauseous the entire way. Thankfully do not vomit. Leave luggage at hostel because it's too early to check in. Go to ATM, discover the bank card I wanted to use will not work, have to use other one from account with significantly much less money. Jet lag plus this equals stress. Lunch helps. Check into hostel room. Give in to jet lag and stress, take nap while others wander around. Meet hostel roommates: 2 Swedish girls, Helen and Teresa (names Americanized for ease). Later meet Dennis, an American currently studying in Italy. Have dinner at a local pub, get a drink despite the cost, therefore cementing my "group lush" status (like it was ever in doubt). Sleep.

Sunday, March 6: Wake up at decent hour, but curse jet lag. Meet up with Maki, a Swattie who is studying in London this semester. Head towards the Tate, randomly passing bits of history on our way: a replica of the Golden Hinde (Sir Francis Drake's ship), the Clink Prison (which gave rise to the slang term), the Globe Theatre. Go to the Tate, discover that modern art does not hold my attention for very long. Tempted to go to the August Strindberg exhibit, but the cost prevents me. There wouldn't have been any mention of Helium anyway. We continue our wandering. See St. Paul's, London Eye, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament from a distance. Cross the interestingly-designed Millennium Bridge. Get lunch in a little cafe, go by Trafalgar Square, where there are far fewer pigeons than I remember. Go to the National Gallery, find that early art also does not hold my attention, but that my love for Impressionism is still strong. Admire the Monets and Van Gogh's most of all, am tempted by a t-shirt in the shop but refuse to pay the insane price. Wander through Picadilly Circus and down Oxford Street to Maki's dorm. She cooks us dinner, we worship her and make use of her free internet. We go to a local pub (I get a rum and coke), then take the Tube back to the hostel. Sore feet, but good day.

Monday, March 7: Wake up, endure cold shower. Head to the Tower of London, see the Tower Bridge on the way. Spend a great deal of time there. See the Crown Jewels -- twice; once from both sides since there wasn't a line. Am drawn to the sparkle. Hear stories of torture, am morbidly interested. Climb many spiral staircases, look at armour and old weapons. Leave Tower, go to a nice pizza place for lunch. Walk towards the Dali Universe, passing the London Eye on the way. Go to the Dali Universe. It has none of his famous paintings, but instead has sculptures, sketches, illustrations for books, water colors, and more. Decided Dali was weird and kind of crazy, but made some awesome art. Wander in the direction of the hostel, passing the Old Vic Theatre, which is advertising National Anthems, staring Kevin Spacey and Steven Weber. Emily decides to see if they still have tickets. They do, put the 12 pound student area only has bad seat left. The lady offers us the 40 pound normal floor seats for 15 pounds. We buy them, then have dinner at Tas, a kind of Mediterranean place. I decide that I love lamb. We head back to the theatre, see Kevin Spacey on the London Stage for about $30 each. The play is pretty good, Spacey is great. Head back to hostel, collapse.

Tuesday, March 8: Greg heads to Paris to visit a friend, Emily and Alex hang out with Maki, and Kyle and I go to Cambridge and visit my brother. We go via King's Cross Station, where they have Platfrom 9 and 3/4 set up with a luggage trolley going through the wall. Yay Harry Potter! Cambridge isn't too exciting, but the college buildings are interesting, and it was nice to see Ben. We have Thai for dinner, and I bring my trip drink total up to 3 with a hard cider. We head back to London fairly early, relishing the fact that we didn't spend the entire day walking.

Wednesday, March 9: Greg is still in Paris. The rest of us head to Portabello Road (home of the market seen in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. The big flea market isn't set up since it isn't Saturday, but there are still many shops to go into. I am pulled away from shoe stores, most likely for the best. Have lunch at a cafe. Go to a used book store that has a section of comics. I buy a copy of Sandman issue 6 from 1989, as well as a Sandman spinoff and another graphic novel that looks interesting. I decide that given my reaction to the comic/graphic novel section (i.e. I could not be pulled away until I was done) that maybe I should go into comic publishing. Vow to investigate the Fantagraphics internship for next summer. Wander through Kennsington Gardens and Hyde Park, go down Oxford Street, and kill time in Foyle's, a large independent book shop. We meet up with Greg, have a nice Italian dinner. We then go to the theatre, pick up our tickets for Festen, a play based off a Dogme 95 movie (something about very simplified production, etc... Alex and Kyle saw it in Intro Film Studies). We wander to a mall/entertainment complex to kill time, then head back to the theatre. The theatre next to ours is showing something with Joshua Jackson and Patrick Stewart, which just seems weird. We see our play, which has no one that I know acting in it. It's amazing, albeit disturbing, since it's about incest/molestation/suicide in a wealthy Danish family. Stop at a little shop to get desert (ice cream for me, cake for Greg, no one else partakes), then take the Tube back to the hostel, where the roommate situation has changed: Dennis has left, and no one has replaced him yet.

Thursday, March 10: Greg goes to southern Wales to see castles. Kyle and I go to the British Library (Alex and Emily went on Tuesday), see many old, nifty books. We take less time than we expected, wander down the streets in the drizzle, have lunch at a tiny cafe. We meet up with Emily, Alex, and Maki by St. Paul's. We wander through the cathedral, but I decide to opt out of the long climb to the top of the dome. I fall asleep in the nave while they climb -- I feel guilty but realize that I have done more sacrilegious things than that. After they return, I decide to head back to the hostel for a nap. Kyle comes with me, Alex and Emily wander the streets of London with Maki until she has to go on a tour with her school group. We (and 2 of Maki's friends and Greg) meet up for dinner at Wagamama, which is noisy and crowded but gives me such delicious ramen and chicken that I don't care. We go to a pub and get dessert (yay chocolate chip cheesecake), and I bring my lush total up to 4 with a double vodka and cranberry juice. We part ways with Maki, then take the Tube back to the hostel, where Craig from Australia has taken over Dennis' old spot. He's moved here with a friend, planning to get an apartment and a job and then see the rest of Europe in his free time. He apparently manages at least the first, because he says he has some leads on the apartment that night and then we don't see him again.

Friday, March 11: We head over to the Houses of Parliament, stand in line to get in and listen to the debates. We wait. People are let in, but not us. We are now at the head of the line. We wait. And wait. And wait. They're discussing their terror bill in the longest running session in history. There are groups that are sponsored by their member of Parliament that are getting in ahead of us. No one is leaving because the discussion is actually interesting, which means we can't get in. After 2 hours of standing in the cold dealing with the bitter wind, Kyle and I concede defeat. Emily, Alex, and Greg do not. Kyle and I find lunch and warmth, then go back to the line. It's been 45 minutes, and they're still there. They say there are rumors that people will be let in soon, since the House of Commons will start sitting soon (before it was the House of Lords). We wish them luck, say we'll see them later. We go to Westminster Abbey, then wander by Buckingham Palace. We head back to the hostel, passing through a market. We get fresh bread, Welsh cheese, and sheep's milk cheese for our dinner. I also get an amazing smoothie and a divine chocolate creation called a Chocolate Nemesis. We go back to the hostel, hang out. Emily and Greg return. They never got in, and eventually left so that Alex could meet up with a friend from high school who he was supposed to have dinner with. Alex eventually comes back, and the rest of the evening is spent playing cards, packing, etc.

Saturday, March 12: We get up, check out, take the Tube to Heathrow. We get checked in with minimal trouble, eat lunch in the airport, board the plane. We've managed to get seated near each other this time, and the plane is only 2/3rds full, so there's plenty of room to spread out. I knit and watch The Machinist. It's good but freaky. Christian Bale does a good job, but I wince every time I see him without his shirt on -- he lost a lot of weight to play the role, and is about 120 pounds or something in the movie... You can see every bone, and it's really scary. I nap. I wake up and knit more while watching Kinsey. We land, wait for our luggage, get through customs in no time. Alex's dad picks us up, drives us back to Swat. It's nice to be back.

Today: I went to bed around 12:30 and woke up around 5:30 am, and the jet lag wouldn't let me fall back asleep. So I got up and read web comics and such... Around 8 am I got tired again (my body thought it was 1 pm and wanted an afternoon nap), so I went back to sleep and got up around noon. I haven't done anything productive yet, and having a nice, long, warm shower was the highlight of my day thus far (yay cleanliness and not having to push a button every minute or 2 to keep the water running!) I'll unpack now, then go to dinner, then attack my work fiercely. Whee.

London trip by the numbers:
Miles walked: Too many. Ow, ow, ow.
Drinks: Only 4, 6 if you count the wine with meals on the planes. Some lush I am.
Plays seen: 2
Number of times Helen told us that reindeer are stupid: Lost count.
Number of Swedish girl jokes and South of France references made (Yay inside jokes!): More than were needed.
Postcards sent: 3
Hours spent on plane: 13 or so.
Money spent: Please don't remind me.
Fun had: So very much!

Things I already miss about London: not being on a set schedule, not having to do work, the accents, eating out every night, being able to drink legally.

Things I don't miss: cold showers, hitting my head on the bunk bed, flat pillows, the prices.

Things I appreciate now that I'm back here: my comfy bed, my own room, continuously running warm showers, lower prices.

It was a good trip.

Back in the States after a week in England. More details about what I did in London will follow -- most likely tomorrow when I procrastinate instead of doing my work. All in all, though, a very good trip.

All my stuff fit into the suitcase without any problem. This never happens with me. I'm slightly concerned -- I feel like I must have forgotten something. But I can't think of anything. Perhaps I've actually learned to pack well. Of course, I'll probably still end up with more stuff than anyone else, but whatever. For this moment at least I feel like I've packed well.

16 hours until the train leaves. 21 hours until the plane leaves. 28 hours or so until I'm in England. Wow.

This Russian flash animation of a sketch being done is incredible. It's about 5 min long and is just awesome. I don't want to describe it too much -- just watch it.

Finally got the letter -- I am an RA for next year! Woot! That's the great news. The okay news is that it's for ML basement, so I won't have any freshmen and I may end up with people who really don't want to be there. But that's okay -- I will adopt the rest of the freshmen, much like Jawaad has done this year. And I will win the others over. *happy dance*

And I found out that Jawaad has known since Sunday night and didn't tell me, just like Cuddles. Grr to both of you, should you ever read this. :)

Time for real work now, assuming my hands will stop shaking so much.

The article I ranted about last week has been retracted by The Phoenix for numerous reasons, many of them involving screwed up quotes, etc.

In other news, the RA Selection Committee is toying with me. There was nothing in my mailbox before lunch. There was nothing in my mailbox after lunch. Hopefully there will be something there when I check it on my way to class... Otherwise, sadness and a very frustrating philosophy class as I anxiously check the time, waiting to be able to run down to Parrish and check again. Gah.

I shouldn't look around my room and ponder how I can best rearrange it at 2 am. Because then I start rearranging it because I can't resist. On the plus side, I'm quite happy with the results.

RA announcements made today... I'll find out whenever I drag myself up to campus and check my mail. *crosses fingers*

I shouldn't look around my room and ponder how I can best rearrange it at 2 am. Because then I start rearranging it because I can't resist. On the plus side, I'm quite happy with the results.

RA announcements made today... I'll find out whenever I drag myself up to campus and check my mail. *crosses fingers*

Wow. I got an email from someone who had come across my website -- not this blog, but the actual never-updated website. I almost deleted it as spam, because I very rarely get actual mail to that email address. But since there were 2 emails, from the same person, with different, normal sounding subject lines, I decided to read them. And I'm glad I did, because hey, acknowledgment from an outside, unknown source is pretty cool. This may actually motivate me to do stuff with this site, like move it to SCCS to get rid of the ads, actually update it, etc. Of course, having time in which to do that would be useful. So maybe this summer... (I always say that, but maybe this time it'll actually happen...)

Things I want to do right now:

Knit
Sleep
Kill time online

Things I don't want to do:

Work

Guess which one I should be doing?

Oh work ethic, where did you go? I need you to come back...

Another radio show... Whee.

* Menocu - Legoland Trees
Built to Spill - Big Dipper
Elf Power - Skeleton
Iron and Wine - My Lady’s House
* Black Mountain - No Satisfaction
Low - Canada
Cat Power - Nude as the News
Spoon - Reservations
* Laura Viers - Icebound Stream
Wilco - Can’t Stand It
The Weakerthans - The Reasons
Yo La Tengo - Don’t Have to Be Sad
* ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Caterwaul
* The Fiery Furnaces - Here Comes the Summer
The Magnetic Fields - (Crazy for You But) Not That Crazy
Final Fantasy - That’s When the Audience Died
Man Man - Zebra
The Arcade Fire - Crown of Love
Crooked Fingers - Pigeon Kicker
* Damon & Naomi - Sometimes
#* Marianne Faithfull - Last Song
Grandaddy - A.M. 180
The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
Bloc Party - Banquet
Sahara Hotnights - Mind Over Matter
* Mob Stereo - Other Stepped In
Blur - Tracy Jacks
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Blue Lights
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt (Quiet)
* The Dead Science - Film Studio Collage

My mom got to listen to the whole thing, my brother said he was going to try to listen to it, and my boyfriend got to hear a little bit. I feel loved.

I don't, however, feel any love for whoever took some CDs from the playlist. They took the Iron and Wine EP (which I thankfully ripped last week, because it's amazing) and the Bonnie "Prince" Billy and Matt Sweeny CD, which I wanted to hear more of. Grr.

I took a nap this evening instead of doing work and going to a poetry reading. The nap helped a lot, though I do wish I had gotten to hear the poetry. Life goes on, I guess.

Now it's time to make up for the work I haven't done today. Gah.

So I just got back the photos from the disposable camera that I've had since January and my externship. However, it seems many of them just aren't there, including all of the ones I took at Alex's birthday party, as well as all of the ones I took of the furry creatures at my host's house. Not sure what's up with that... Maybe they were poorly lit and therefore not developed? I'm not sure, but I'm kind of grumpy about it... Because trust me, I took way more than 11 pictures on that camera. Arg. However, I know I'm too lazy to do anything about it, so this will be a one-time complaint, and then I will forget about it.

I drifted in and out of philosophy class today. Not sure why I'm so tired -- I got a decent amount of sleep. But I can't seem to stay fully awake at all. It's most unfortunate.

Time to do as much work as I can before I have to go rehearse for acting... We present our scene tomorrow -- hopefully it will go well. We'll see.

Things I've done today instead of working:

Napped
Worked on the pink puzzle
Hung out with people
Played Soul Calibur II
Took pictures of prettily lit, snow-covered trees
This

I'm running out of things. I guess I'll actually have to work...

It's going to snow again today. Apparently a decent amount. 4 to 6 (or 8, depending who you listen to) inches, sometimes heavy enough to pile up an inch per hour. Oh joy of joys.

February, aren't you over yet?

Done with the self-portrait, which looks pretty good except for the mouth. Bah to the mouth, but yay for decent looking eyes. Drawing it reminded me just how much I love art... Especially charcoal. It's so messy, but also so much fun. My fingers are grey from it, even though I scrubbed my hands. That's what I get for rubbing it in and smearing it around to create shadow and contours. But... So. Much. Fun.

I think the next two years are going to consist of me taking English and art classes and very little else. Yay for being done with my distribution requirements so I can do that... Boo to Swat not having a regular art minor. But that won't stop me from taking loads of studio art classes anyway.

Time for the rest of my work, then sleep.

So apparently they've chosen the RAs for next year. However, they won't be letting us know until Thursday. Arg. Until then, I get to worry about it.

We ran through our scene for acting class, and it went better than I had expected. I think we'll be okay for Wednesday, which is very, very good.

Time to draw my self-portrait, probably from a photo instead of the mirror, since I currently look a bit like the walking dead. Yay for going to be ridiculously late!

Tonight was awesome. Tango was kind of hard, but also really fun. We kept bumping into people though, so we went downstairs where we had room but could still hear the music and not feel self-conscious (except when Siyuan and Victoria were watching us...) The night post-tango was fun as well: hanging out with friends, going to a low-key party, and then hanging out with random people in Mertz.

My WA asked me to rewrite my draft before I meet with her, since she got the impression that I had felt rather rushed, and she didn't feel like she could do a good job with what I had (since I left out textual support and such). Part of me was like, wow, good WA. Part of me is saying grr, don't want to! But I am. I've done most of it, and I'll probably finish it up now before I go to bed, since I'm strangely awake and should take advantage of that, since I'm sure it won't last very long.

So to work I go!

So tangoing is a go for tonight, at least for the beginner's class from 9 to 9:30. We'll see how good/bad we are after that and decide whether or not to continue. At the very least, this will be a learning experience... And a possible chance to humiliate myself in front of many. Whee!

The rest of the day, until dinner and then after dinner for awhile: work. Joy of joys.

I have redone the side bar, adding links and taking away ones that are no longer relevant. Many of my friends' blogs are consolidated in the LJ Friends Page, since most of my friends with blogs have LiveJournals -- but I will always remain loyal to Blogger. I also added more webcomics to the list... Still not all of the ones I read, but the ones I really, really like. I thought about trying to organize them by when they update, but then I decided against that and went with simple alphabetical order. Actually, I wasn't going to organize them at all, but then my anal-retentivity kicked in.

And now that I've done this pseudo-productive task, on to real work.

Up until now I had never really bothered to form an opinion on Haverford students. After the Ratatat concert, I have formed one. And it's not a very good one.

The concert itself was good. The first band, The Nein, wasn't all that impressive. The second one, The Double, was pretty good. And Ratatat themselves were awesome. Yay for two guys doing amazing things with just a guitar and a bass... Really good stuff.

The problem was the crowd. All events at Swarthmore are open to Haverford and Bryn Mawr students, and vice versa. Usually this means that Bryn Mawr girls will come here for parties, and that's about all. But for some reason, there was a swarm of Haverford students at the show. I know that I don't know everyone on campus, but I can recognize a great many of them... And at least half of the crowd tonight was completely unfamiliar. It was weird -- kind of like the media lounge situation. All of this would have been fine, except for the fact that they seemed to have no sense of concert decorum whatsoever. There are kind of unwritten rules for concerts. You don't shove your way to the front when the people up there are already jam-packed. You don't boo the band because they're not setting up fast enough. You don't yell and clap along out of rhythm at odd, annoying times. You don't start moshing at a show that's just not meant for moshing. All of these things were done, and more. Is it possible that Swatties were involved in this as well? Yes. But the people who were the most annoying were also the ones who booed and cried "Go Haverford" whenever a band said "Hello Swarthmore." So I have a hunch that my bitterness is directed towards the right area.

Other than that bit of frustration, Friday was good overall. I was really groggy during classes, but I was lucky enough to not be randomly called on in the English class I was unprepared for. And then I had an afternoon nap and went out to dinner, both of which were great.

The rest of the weekend should be good, but also really busy. I turned in my WA draft of my Homer paper today, and then got an email this evening from the WA. I didn't have time to seek out quotes and textual support to a great degree, and I noted this at the top of my paper. So she asked if I could do that and revise the draft and email it to her before my conference with her. Part of me says sure, this is a good idea, that way I get better input. Part of me is just grumpy, not really caring about the input, and not wanting to have to cram all that work into tomorrow. But I'll do the best I can. Other work includes reading Aristotle's "Poetics" and some more Nietzsche, along with some poetry for English class. I also need to draw a self-portrait for an acting exercise, and in theory I should really meet with my scene partners to practice before Wednesday. I also need to do a response paper on the night of scenes I saw, as well as on the show I'm going to see on Sunday.

Gah. This weekend allows no time for really slacking off, which is no good at all.

Time for sleep.

Procrastination and distraction will be the death of me. Thank god tomorrow (or today, I guess) is Friday. I need a weekend.

The sanctity of the media lounge has been disturbed. A group is doing a radio program on the Iraq war, and they're working in the media lounge and apparently recording and such in the pit. I knew it was happening, but I didn't think the impact would be this big. I saw the extra desks and the bookcase being moved in. But I didn't realize that so many people would be coming with them.

I went into the media lounge this afternoon, and of all the people there (10-15), 2 or 3 were normal SCCS-type folk. Gone from the white board was the poll inquiring what Fritz should do if he fails to make it into grad school (possibilities included Vulcan love slave, creepy man sitting by playground, and many other equally delightful options). Both the couch and the love seat, generally prime napping locations, were in use. Most of the computers were in use. And instead of the random gossip and talk and occasionally obscene humor, there were people deciding which story out of Iraq was the biggest one. Was it the latest car bombing or something Bush had said?

I would be cool with all of this -- I think the Iraq radio thing is an interesting idea and a worthwhile cause. The thing I'm less thrilled about is feeling like an outsider in a place that I used to be able to go to no matter what. Recently I've been spending more time in my little nook in the science center, but all of last semester the media lounge was my prime on-campus studying and napping locale. I enjoyed the atmosphere, the people, etc. Now I feel like I'm intruding. it would be like going home and discovering my parents had rented out my room to a stranger, and now I was being forced to sleep on the couch.

I stayed just long enough to eat the snack I had purchased at Tarble, and then I fled. The feeling of being horribly out of place in a place that used to be a sort of safe haven was too much to deal with.

Time to raid the study break for food, and then it's time to begin the actual writing of my paper -- I think I have all the information I need... Though I'm going to be kind of light on the quotes (I'll have to try and dig up more this weekend to use in the final draft...)

And on a very different note... There was this in the reserved students email:

Swarthmore Tango Dance

This Saturday, 26 February 2005, there will be an open Milonga (Social
Tango dance) in Upper Tarble (Tarble-In-Clothier). A beginner's class
will start at 9 pm, and general dancing will begin at 9:30.
Additionally, there will be a professional performance at approximately
11 pm.
No previous experience with Tango necessary. All are welcome.

This sounds strangely appealing and fun to me, and I'm thinking I may actually want to go. It could just be the sleep deprivation talking, though. Me (with my lack of coordination) and dancing... It could be very bad. But it could also be really, really fun. It does, however, take 2 to tango.

So instead of getting to work on my Homer response, I took some time to read this week's Phoenix. The cover story (which can be read here) is about Swatties taking science courses at the other schools in the Tri-College consortium. The headline is Finding a Solution: An increasing number of pre-med students travel to other schools to fulfill natural science requirements. Now, doesn't that make it sound like Swarthmore is liking in the sciences, like we don't offer the classes that pre-med students need? It does, doesn't it? Read the article. That's not the case at all. They're taking classes elsewhere because many of them feel that Swat's courses are too hard, too much work.

Key quotes:
"I didn't want to work my ass off in calculus-based physics here."
"Classes here are hella tough... I plan to do that [take science classes at Bryn Mawr] next semester. I took Orgo here and found it very difficult."
"Getting into med school is very competitive. Science courses here are to prepare you for graduate school and Ph.D. programs. My advisor encouraged me to go to another school where I could get a better grade."

I assume the last quote is referring to non-med school grad schools, otherwise this quote is just bizarre. It's still kind of odd to me -- I would think that the more information you have, the better off you'd be. And I'm trying very hard not to say anything about the use of "hella" in the second quote. But seriously, the whole idea of pre-meds taking classes elsewhere because they want to get away with doing less work makes me worry. I mean, I guess in some cases it's understandable. You probably don't need calc-based physics to be a doctor. If you're just taking the science classes because you're interested in them but aren't a major and don't have the time to devote to yet another class with an insane workload, it makes sense. But if this is a general trend for pre-meds, eep. I want my doctor to be willing to work hard and actually learn, rather than just being focused on good grades. And then there's the fact that you know, this is Swat. There's our somewhat elitist tendency to pride ourselves in the toughness of our academics (though the admissions department may be trying to soften that image, I'm not sure)

There's also the issue of the science departments not being accessible to female students and minorities. I'm not sure what to make of this... A quote: "The faculty in the chemistry department teaches in a way that many students, especially female students, find culturally insensitive." This quote confuses me some, mostly because they don't really elaborate on what they mean by that. I know female chem majors, and they seem fine with the program. Maybe there's hidden hate that I don't know about. But I'm confused how one even manages to teach chem in a culturally insensitive way. Okay, English or some humanities course, maybe even psychology... I can see how these could be presented in a very slanted way that favors a male, white perspective, etc. But chemistry? Hard facts about solutions and moles and other things that I don't even know the names of? Someone please explain this to me.

If any science majors want to let me know what they think of this article, that would be awesome. Otherwise I may have to approach you at dinner and inquire into the matter. I'm actually kind of curious about this.

Alright. Time to do some real work.

I chose sleep and more sleep over finishing my philosophy reading. I think I made the right choice.

It's snowing again. Heavily. Estimated 5 to 9 inches by the end of tonight. *sulks*
It's pretty outside with all the snow, but the walk up to campus is going to be no fun at all. *pouts*

And I just achieved my goal of getting my paper done before 2 am, my unofficial bedtime. Woot!

If you are surprised by either of the outcomes of these quizzes, you don't know me very well:

You scored as Unipolar Depression. Congraulations! You are depressed! You know just how it feels to bear all the world's burdens, and the value of a 19-hour night's sleep. And you really hate that circle-guy thing on your Zoloft pill packets. Unipolar Depression 50% Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 8% Borderline Personality Disorder 8% Eating Disorders 8% Antisocial Personality Disorder 0% Schizophrenia 0% Which mental disorder do you have? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Sloth. Sloth 100% Wrath 81% Pride 69% Envy 69% Gluttony 56% Lust 50% Greed 25% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

Making slow progress on my paper, with lots of little breaks to let my mind atrophy more.

Allowing myself to be distracted:

You scored as Intrapersonal. You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists. Intrapersonal 82% Verbal/Linguistic 79% Musical/Rhythmic 75% Interpersonal 68% Visual/Spatial 61% Logical/Mathematical 54% Bodily/Kinesthetic 43% The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com

When I have a lot of work to do, my mind goes into a kind of fight or flight mode. It generally chooses flight, which means that my mind kind of goes away. It goes blank, I lose the ability to really focus, etc. It's definitely not an ideal situation. I'm not sure what a fight reaction would be -- maybe buckling down and actually getting things done in an efficient manner. And I always plan to do that. I wrote out a list of things that I should do today.

- English class (I did this)
- Read rest of The Odyssey (I also did this, and I was quite pleased with myself)
- Mythology class (Did)
- Lunch (Yep)
- Work: make notes for Homer response, read philosophy (This is where it went a bit haywire. I went into Cornell and worked on the puzzle for a bit, then I went to the bookstore to buy some stuff I needed and drop off a roll of film. I went to the media lounge and checked my email, then I called home and talked for about 30 min. When I finished that, I went back to the science center. I got a snack, did a bit more of the puzzle, then finally settled down to read philosophy for a bit. I ended up reading about 15 pages.)
- Acting class (Did this)
- Dinner (Yay pasta bar0
- Back to ML: Laundry, revise philosophy paper, work on philosophy reading (In process of doing laundry, and I've revised my introduction thus far)

To come later: Collapsing, either staying up late to work on philosophy reading or getting up earlyish to do it... After class tomorrow, there will be either be quality time spent with me, my laptop, and Homer's epics or reading criticism on Yeats' poetry. Whichever one I don't do in the afternoon will be done after dinner, plus more work on the Homer essay. Then there will be more collapsing, then more class, and then a grand collapse after lunch on Friday.

Time to take some Advil and then move my laundry to the dryer.

Random question here: Why do I always seem to make things harder for myself than they need to be or than they really are? (I'm speaking mostly about emotional stuff here, but I guess this could apply to anything every now and then...)

I am very much tempted to blame my current mood on many things, including the weather, PMS sort of stuff -- some people get cramps or strange cravings... My depression kicks into top gear, whee! -- or any of those sort of mild, will soon change things. And that's probably what it is. But I can never convince myself of that until after the fact. I always feel like it's something so much bigger that's causing it, that I or my relationships with other people or life in generally is just fucked up or inherently flawed or something. I don't know. I seem incapable of being happy for a long period of time -- there's always at least one bad day (sometimes just a bad hour) that ruins the run of happiness and sends me back to square one as far as confidence and self-esteem goes.

Dammit, changing my background music from Rainer Maria to Sahara Hotnights was supposed to help my mood. Upbeat music, you have failed me!

Time to read, then crash, then face the rest of this less-than-ideal week.

Another Tuesday night, another radio show, another playlist:

Radiohead - Just
Quasi - The Sword of God
* Mouse on Mars - Wipe that Sound (remix featuring Mark E. Smith)
Sahara Hotnights - The Difference Between Love and Hell
The Unicorns - 2014
* We Versus the Shark - No Flint No Spark
That Dog - She Doesn’t Know How
#* The Music - Into the Night
#* Marianne Faithfull - City of Quartz
* Menocu - Indelible Marks
Final Fantasy - Furniture
Electric Llight Orchestra - Mr. Blue Sky
Ratatat - Lapland
* Matt Sweeny and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Bed is for Sleeping
* Iron and Wine - Jezebel
* Audible - Sunday Bell
A.C. Newman - On the Table
Super Furry Animals - Valet Parking
Wilco - Heavy Metal Drummer
Cat Power - Free
Rainer Maria - Rise
Pretty Girls Make Graves - All Medicated Geniuses
Asobi Seksu - Walk on the Moon
Bjork - Big Time Sensuality
Sneaker Pimps - Low Five
* Momus - I Am a Kitten
* The Futureheads - Danger of the Water
Irving - White Hot
Menomena - E is Stable

I forgot I had already played the Super Furry Animals song last week until I had already started playing it... Ah well. It's a good song. I pulled the old Rainer Maria CDs from the library and copied them, so that makes me happy. It amused me to see that the reviews on at least one of them termed them kind of emo... Even when I think I'm breaking away from my emo kid tendencies, it turns out I'm not.

Time to read for English, then sleep. I didn't get as much work done this afternoon as I probably should have. Arg. I can't wait for the weekend.

I developed a new addiction today. In Cornell Library, there is a puzzle. It is solid pink. The puzzle itself is a normal rectangle, but the pieces themselves form a pattern of a circle that kind of spirals out. It's hard to explain without seeing it, but let it be known that it is a) hard and b) addictive. Therefore when I get tired of reading, I will now venture in there to work on the puzzle until it breaks my mind and reading looks appealing.

Busy week this week, eep. But I got to play with a cat, so that made life better. And then there was the heavenly chocolate cake that Jeff made. Bless that boy... Both of these happy things were thanks to Joy's birthday party -- yay Joy!

Work now, work and class tomorrow, radio show tomorrow night. And perhaps somewhere in there a 1 month celebration if it can be managed.

But work now.

It's snowing. And it's actually accumulating. Time to break out the boots again.

Kyle says that there was a flash of lightning amidst the snow. I missed it, but at least I know it really is possible -- and he doubted me. Hopefully there will be another one -- the idea of a snow thunderstorm seems really cool to me.

The shades are up, the lights are dimmed so that I can see the night sky better... I will probably be disappointed, but it's pretty out anyway.

Must finish work -- I'm obviously not going to be getting as much sleep as I'd like tonight, grr.

The weather forecast for tomorrow starts off with snow around 1 am, switches into ice pellets (which I would usually call hail, but whatever) for the morning, then rain in the afternoon. God damn you February! Early last week I was wearing flip-flops! And now! Scarf and hat and gloves in order to survive! Damn you and your bipolar weirdness of weather!

Alright, I suppose that rant is over now. Happy (early by an hour or so) birthday to Joy. Happy Presidents' Day to those who get to reap the benefits of such holidays -- I will be having class, because my college does not seem to believe in holidays that aren't Thanksgiving or are already covered by winter break and weekends. Ah well.

Boo to the reading I need to be doing, the writing that will follow, the paper and the other paper draft that are due later this week, the scene I need to memorize, my sophomore paper, the CDs I need to review, the sleep that I'm not getting, and so forth. And another boo to the weather just to bring things back full circle.

12 days until England. Wow. It's coming up fast, woot!

Back to work for me, blah.

The They Might Be Giants concert was good. Common Rotation opened, and they were entertaining, and so was TMBG. All in all, despite not being overly familiar with either band, it was good fun. And it was definitely a great large scale event. Ratatat is playing in Olde Club on Friday, which should also be good... Hopefully it will be slightly less crowded than The Walkmen show, but we'll see.

In other news, not much. I didn't get much work done today (read: I slept a lot and did nothing productive), so tomorrow I will have to be super-studious. It will be oh-so-much fun.

Reading until I fall asleep, whee.

So the stair-master caused me less pain than I though it would. However, I am still sore, some in the arms but mostly in upper pecs. It hurts a little to move my arms around over my head too much, thus making washing my hair very not fun. Owie.

Went on a double date last night with Lauren and her boyfriend. It was last minute and fun -- yay for non-Sharples food!

They Might Be Giants is playing tonight. Should be fun... At the very least watching some of my friends' fanboy/girl reactions will be cool.

Today has been deemed a "no work day," kind of against my better judgment. Sleeping very, very late was awesome, though. I will just have to make up for it tomorrow. Whee...

I have a distinct feeling that I'm going to be in pain tomorrow.

After not going to the gym for awhile, I went today. I ran over there (not very impressive, it's like a 3 minute jog or so), lifted weights, did some crunches (there are muscles underneath the fat; now I just need to stay away from the ice cream...), rode the stationary bike for 5 min, then switched over to the stair-master for another 10. All in all, I was there almost an hour, and my upper arms are already a bit achy, and I'm pretty sure my butt is going to hurt as well. Whee.

All in all, though, I'm proud of myself. I almost took a nap instead, but I resisted the urge. And me resisting nap urges takes a lot of will-power, I must say.

Time to make myself presentable for the evening.

Victory (in the form of a completed paper) is mine! Booyah!

So my plan to take a short nap then wake up around 3ish and work and then nap and then work utterly failed. I woke up a little before 6, discovered that I had turned off my cell phone alarm in my sleep/woke up just enough to turn it off when it went off (first time I've done that -- seems like it's not fool-proof after all, curses!). So yeah. So much for that plan. What this means is that I'm still in the process of writing my paper. On the plus side, before I went to sleep I devised a loose outline and even came up with a conclusion. Therefore I'm not in horrible shape, but still not where I was hoping to be at this point.

The sun is rising outside and there are birds twittering near my window. It's so weird to be up at this time...

Back to work!

The guilt that I didn't have about skipping class has kind of kicked in, since I ran into the professor on my way from my mythology class to lunch. She said hello very cheerfully, and asked if I was doing okay. When I confessed that I when my alarm went off I couldn't force myself out of bed, she told me to try to get to bed earlier tonight. It was kind of an indirect maternal guilt trip, one which I don't think was intentional, but one that I fell prey to because she's just so darned nice and therefore I felt bad about possibly disappointing her. I will try and make up for it by volunteering in class on Friday.

Now it is time to get to work on my philosophy paper. I am ensconced in my new favorite studying place (the science center, upstairs on a little landing overlooking the commons) and will be here until 4 or so, when I'll head over to LPAC to chat with my sophomore paper advisor.

So the plan for the rest of the day: work, talk with advisor, work, dinner, work, attend lecture/demo for acting, stop by birthday party, work, collapse.

Tomorrow: rehearse scene for acting, lunch, class, work work work, dinner, work, watch The Godfather, Part 2 for class, sleep.

Friday: class, lunch, work and/or collapse until the evening.

Gah.

My alarm went off this morning. I looked at it. I looked at the syllabus for my English class. I decided since we were talking about the same poet as Monday that I wouldn't miss anything vital. I decided that sleep was more important right now. I went back to sleep.

Part of me feels horrible about doing this. Part of me feels no guilt at all. I remember when the idea of skipping classes unless I had a really, really good reason appalled me. I'm still not fond of the idea, but sometimes, you just need to listen to your body.

I am so cool. You know, where cool means amazingly stupid. There was a ton of dead air on my show tonight because I kept on turning on the wrong mic and therefore almost none of what I said was picked up, including my explanation of why I was playing Chromeo (they were in SPIN magazine... part of an article on the Montreal scene and the groups there, like The Arcade Fire, etc). Of course this would happen on a night when I actually spoke a decent amount. *shakes head* I am so silly.

On to the playlist:

Ambulance LTD - Yoga Means Union
#* ISIS - So Did We
Chromeo - Needy Girl
The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
Pavement - Kennel District
The Postal Service - Nothing Better
#* The Shins - Caring is Creepy
#* Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
#* Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde
Final Fantasy - The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead
* The Fiery Furnaces - Sweet Spots
* Styrofoam - Front to Back
* The Go Find - Summer Guest
Ratatat - Desert Eagle
* The Futureheads - A to B
The Reputation - Bottle Rocket Battles
* Mob Stereo - Bubblegum and Binders
Rainer Maria - Automatic
Sleater-Kinney - The End of You
* Driver of the Year - Volume Switch
* Audible - Sky Signal
Yo La Tengo - Sugarcube
#* The Features - The Way It’s Meant to Be
Super Furry Animals - Valet Parking
Death Cab for Cutie - Title and Registration
The Delgados - All You Need is Hate
* The Libertines - Last Post on the Bugle
#* The Minus 5 - (I’ve Got A) Lyrical Stance
Modest Mouse - Dramamine
Counting Crows - Colorblind

An equal balance of rock department playlist songs and my own music... Which is what I'm supposed to be doing, though I usually seem to be heavy on one side or the other.

Time for bed. I have a busy day tomorrow, oh yay.

I had my RA interview today. I was ridiculously nervous before it -- huge pit in my stomach, etc. It's mostly gone away, but there's a tinge of it left, even though it's been 3 hours. Or maybe it's just the undercooked fries that are messing with me now. Anyway, I think I didn't do so hot with the scenario, but other than that I think it went well. I know that my recommendations were good, and based on some of the things the director of housing said, I think I have a good chance. I'd guess that if I get it, I'll be placed in ML. Which I think would actually be really nice. Sure, I'd like to live in another dorm before I graduate, but I feel like for a new RA, ML's built-in community makes life a lot easier. So I'd be happy with it.

Other than that, there is a lot of work that I need to be doing. The main thing right now is the philosophy paper that I need to write -- most of tomorrow afternoon will be devoted to that, with a break to talk to my advisor about classes and such. This semester is turning out to be a lot busier than I had anticipated, but I'm still enjoying everything. I've learned that I can't always do everything, and I'm learning to be okay with that.

Time to try and get some reading done before I need to head back up to campus for my radio show.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how pathetic and sappy is it that I had to dig out Live's The Distance to Here just so I could listen to "The Dolphin's Cry" because now I can't really get it out of my head? It should be noted that I first went to the Mixed Company website to see if the a cappella version was there and am settling for this because it wasn't. I think that alone pushes me to at least a 9.

On the plus side, this has reminded me that this CD is really rather good, and I should therefore listen to it. And not, you know, listen to just the first track many times.

Nietzsche now. Really. Or maybe sleep and Nietzsche in the morning.

I have flowers. None from my valentine, but I still have flowers. A rose from my RA (he gave them to all the girls on the hall because he's cool like that), and then 5 carnations (1 that I was given as I came into the dining hall, and then 4 others I liberated from a centerpiece). Flowers are pretty.

Tomorrow I have my RA interview. Hopefully it will go well; I guess we'll see. Wednesday I have to meet with my sophomore paper advisor to discuss what courses I want to try to take during the rest of my time at Swat. Thursday I have a WA draft of philosophy paper due (and no, I have yet to start writing or even pick a thesis, eek). Friday should be calm. Saturday night is the They Might Be Giants concert. Sunday night I need to go see the Directing II's Night of Scenes and write a response for acting class. I also need to be learning my lines for the scene, and fight my nature when actually performing the scene -- I need to be submissive where I'd usually be confrontational. It's weird. Next Friday I have a WA draft of a paper on Homer due. The week after that I have to turn in my application to be an English major. And the end of that week is the beginning of spring break and the trip to London... Busy times!

Right now, I need to read some Nietzsche and then get to bed. (Why can't any of the Existentialists have easy to spell names?)

Night all.

Happy grey Valentine's Day, at least to my fellow Swatties. It's sort of snowing right now, sort of raining, and it's going to be raining most of the day. Any notions I had of dressing up any have been thwarted.

On an actually happy note: the hostel has been booked! So now my friends and I have our plan tickets and reserved beds to sleep in. Everything else can be figured out later.

Time to get ready for class now.

So it seems a lot of people have already asked this question, at least according to Google. But I thought I'd ask it again, because it's one of those things that bothers me from time to time, like right now. What's a good word for that grey area of emotion between 'like' and 'love'?

Don't say lust, because that's just physical and doesn't fit the emotion that I'm thinking of. And infatuation and crush don't do it either, because to me they always imply kind of an unrequited feeling, not a feeling between two people. There's a slang site that I came across in my Google search that uses 'loke', but that just sounds very, very silly. And as much as I like 'smitten' and 'twitter-pated', those seem kind of fluffy after a certain point. 'Adore' also implies a one-sidedness, an idolization. 'Fond' sounds more maternal than romantic. 'Fancy' sounds very old-fashioned and kind of foppish.

I guess I've generally used the distinction between 'love' and 'being in love'... Where love is the love you feel for family, friends, pets, etc... And being in love is the romantic love. But even then, there's kind of a transition period, isn't there? The period of 'falling in love'... But that phrase is almost scary because it seems to carry so much weight and connotations with it. And it assumes that the end result will be being in love, but that isn't necessarily true -- I think you can get in this grey area of emotion and then just stay there indefinitely... Romance's purgatory.

i could probably babble about this for awhile more, but I really need to get some work done. If anyone has any ingenious answers to this question, do share.

Desire for sleep: 1
Desire to hang out: 0

Back to bed I go.

Two birthday parties in one day -- both went pretty well. Happy day after your birthday, Jeff, and happy birthday to Kyle!

Water and sleep are my friends, especially if I'm going to follow through with the plan of going into Philly tomorrow morning. Part of me wants to sleep for a very long time instead, but I know that it will be fun and that doing social things is good for me.

So plan for tomorrow: Drag self to train station, into Philly with friends, hang out in Chinatown for a bit, get food, come back to Swat, do work. Whee!

And now, some sleep.

The good news: it's not mono. It's probably post-viral fatigue from being sick this weekend. The bad news: I'm still really tired. The other good news: I was awake for all of philosophy class AND I actually contributed some. And I only have one class tomorrow. And tomorrow is Friday. And this weekend should be fun.

Clearly, the good outweighs the bad. So that's... well, good!

I talked to my parents last night. They suggested that I might have mono. I suppose I do have many of the symptoms: extreme tiredness, sore throat, slightly swollen glands. Therefore, I'm going to Worth today to see if they'll do a blood test and find out for sure. I'm hoping my parents are wrong. They've thought I've had mono before, but it's always just turned out that I'm a lazy bum with a cold. We'll see, I suppose.

Time to drag myself up to campus.

It's official: I now have a massive single.

I'm also dead on my feet. I have no reason to be this exhausted, but I am. I am in sorry, sorry shape. I'm seriously considering emailing my theatre prof and telling her I can't make it to class this afternoon. I feel like I'm about to collapse -- I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of the day. Even getting through English, a short class that I love, was a serious effort.

I'm going to go to the science center now and find a couch to crash on until my next class.

1st radio show of the semester... Had a bit of a shaky start, but then things went fine. My tracking pad seems to be on the fritz, so I borrowed the mouse from the studio computer. In the end, it all worked out fine.

Playlist (as usual, * means from the rock department playlist, and # means I reviewed it):

Gary Jules - Mad World
Final Fantasy - This is the Dream of Win and Regine
Ratatat - Seventeen Years
* !!! - Pardon My Freedom
#* The Features - Blow it Out
The Futureheads - Meantime
Rainer Maria - The Awful Truth of Loving
The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
#* Frou Frou - Let Go
Chemical Brothers ft. Beth Orton - Where Do I Begin?
#* Marianne Faithfull - My Friends Have
* The Go Find - Over the Edge
Ladytron - Seventeen
* Autolux - Turnstile Blues
Kill Hannah - Kennedy
Jimmy Eat World - Pain
* Friends Like These - What Emily Says
The Magnetic Fields - Absolutely Cuckoo
The Unicorns - I Was Born (A Unicorn)
The Walkmen - The Rat
* The High Water Marks - Have Another Dream
* Death from Above 1979 - Black History Month
* Styrofoam - Couches in Alleys
Menomena - The Late Great Libido
A.C. Newman - The Town Halo
Harvey Danger - Woolly Muffler
Beulah - Silver Lining
That Dog - Ms. Wrong
Pain - Midgets With Guns
* Ted Leo/Pharmacists - Me and Mia
Broken Social Scene - Stars and Sons

Work time.

i am completely unmotivated to do any real work at the moment. I'm listening to WSRN (one of the rock director's shows) and enjoying it, and I'm thinking about my own show, which starts in a bit more than an hour. And my English reading is open and on my lab, and I'm looking at it, but not wanting to do it. Of course, it's a lot. And I should do some reading for mythology as well. And there's that scene from A Streetcar Named Desire that I need to be learning as well. Arg. And don't even remind me of the philosophy reading I need to do. Double arg!

I enjoy all of my classes this semester, I really do. But every once in awhile, the ability to do work just completely goes away. I read philosophy and wrote a response paper this morning, I reviewed 2 CDs this afternoon. And all my energy seems to have been used up. Sad, but true.

So I'll either be staying up late to get work done or not participating in class much tomorrow. Or possibly both.

This weekend: Catch up on work! Get ahead, even! Ha! You know, in between going bowling, going into Philly for part of the day, celebrating my boyfriend's 21st birthday, and Valentine's Day stuff. At least I don't have mythology on Friday... I can attempt to force myself to work from the end of English class up until dinner or something. I managed to do it Sunday -- I just need that sort of focus all of the time.

Time to gather CDs and such for my show and then mosey my way up to campus.

So I'm just severing ties left and right, it seems. Well, not exactly. But I am cutting back on things. I've already dropped choir for this semester, and I just sent an email saying that I'm quitting the Gazette. So that leaves WSRN (radio show and review CDs) as my main extra-curricular activity for the semester. And I'm cool with that. As it is, I'm behind in some work... (Damn you philosophy reading! You just keep mutating!)... So more free time is very much a good thing.

Time to retrieve laundry.

I think Bob Paley wins the "Coolest Professor" award. I've never had him, since he teaches chemistry, but he has an awesome dog (Chaos, a huge Husky) that he brings with him to the lab, AND his radio show is amazing. That's right, a professor has a radio show on WSRN. And man, is it good. If you're awake on Tuesdays from 8-10 am Eastern time, give it a listen.

Time for more Kierkegaard, made more enjoyable by good music in the background.

More quizzes (from the same site) to restart my brain post-compiling and pre-philosophy. Don't ask me how they're restarting my brain, just believe me.
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Better personality:

Wackiness: 44/100
Rationality: 44/100
Constructiveness: 56/100
Leadership: 50/100

You are a SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Hippie.

You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.

Please don't get even with this web site.

Of the 92029 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 10.4 % are this type.
-----
Better person:

Your score as a human being is 88.65.

You are close to ideal. So close, and yet so far. Amusing, really, to watch someone squirm so close to the vaunted ranks of perfection and still remain so very, very ordinary. It is all one can do to keep one's ingratiating smile from polluting one's perfect face.

Actually, one recommends you take the quiz again and lie a little.
-----
Better sense of humor:

Sunny/Dark: 1/10
drY/Gross: 2/10
Traditional/Offbeat: 5/10
Active/Passive: 4/10

You are a SYT--Sunny Dry Traditional. This makes you a Sophisticate.

You like conservative humor -- implied rather than explicit, and a well- timed eyebrow raise rather than a punchline. You're exactly the right kind of funny a well-bred hostess would want at her functions. You might be Jewish.

You're not afraid of a risque joke -- you just don't often make them. This means that people may keep it squeaky clean around you, and that when you do work blue it's super too so funny.

You're like Jon Stewart on that fake cover of the public domain Victorian erotica textbook in the back of America. You should get that book. You'll think it's funny as hell.

You might like The Daily Show, Remember Wenn and when Hamlet says, "Do you think I meant country matters?" You would snigger thyself all the way to the buttery bar.

Of the 12943 people who have taken this quiz, 25.9 % are this type.

Your Active humor score of 4/10 means you're a yellow dash of comedy down the middle of the humorous road. You prefer to listen than to be the center of attention, inserting funny observations and comments rather than driving the herd. That's cool. Just remember that the quantity of funny you provide tends to make people think you're up to something.
-----

Alright Kierkegaard, time for you to bring your worst.

20 Questions to a Better Relationship

eXpressive: 7/10
Practical: 2/10
Physical: 5/10
Giver: 6/10


You are a XSYG--Expressive Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Sex Bomb.

You are sexy sex sex sex! The sexness! You are the sexiest, hottest and most charismatic of all types. You are a captivating speaker and a great dinner date -- relaxed, self-effacing, charming and generous. Your type probably has origins in something sad -- trying to keep the peace in a tough family situation, or an early heartbreak -- and you'll probably want to address and resolve that at some point, but in your relationships that heartache is pure gold!

You lie effortlessly -- not necessarily a bad thing. You can have problems with fidelity. You need frequent praise and validation, and in seeking it you can make decisions that aren't consistent with your general good judgment. In other words, don't cheat on your significant other just because someone is paying attention to you.

You strongly dislike conflict, and will avoid it. Like an XPYG, you give so much of yourself to your partner that you feel dismissed and unappreciated if you don't get the same in return. But you internalize your feelings more and have a hard time getting over them. You don't *want* to cheat -- you just keep finding yourself in vulnerable situations. But you'll stay with your partner in the long run from guilt and a desire to please.

Your sex life will always be hot. You are one of the rare people who can keep the fires of passion going forever -- if you find a good match. Find another XSYG and you will never need (or want) anyone else again.

Of the 192932 people who have taken this quiz, 8.1 % are this type.

Um. Not sure about the lying effortlessly or the cheating stuff. And I think I'll plead the 5th for everything else.

Props to the folks at WSRN for making the temporary studio infinitely better than it was last semester. It's not as dusty, the equipment is arranged nicely, the computer is up and running, and there are even posters on the walls to make it a bit more lively. Yay!

In other WSRN news, I grabbed 4 different albums to review. Upon giving a few songs on each a preliminary listen, I have decided I could not have chosen more different albums had I tried. I have Further Seems Forever (kind of emo), The Minus 5 (indie), Marianne Faithfull (alternative rock), and Isis (metal).

In other extracurricular activities, I'm going to start compiling the Daily Gazette on Monday nights instead of Tuesdays (in part because my radio show is on Tuesdays now, in part because I need to get more sleep on Tuesdays). Anyway, that means that the Tuesday weather jokes will be mine, not the Wednesday ones. Just so you know, Mom.

Back to reading for English.

I have officially ordered my tickets to London. Therefore, I am officially going to London over spring break! Yay!

Back to work now.

My throat is kind of scratchy and sore. I'm achy. I have a bit of a runny nose. I am, however, NOT GETTING SICK. No. No way am I going to catch what a good third of the campus has. Grr to illness!

The lyrics of this song don't do its catchiness justice, I think.

Don't fall in love with me yet
We only recently met
True I'm in love with you but
You might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
Go absolutley cuckoo
Then, when you see your error,
Then you can flee in terror
Like everybody else does
I only tell you this cause
I'm easy to get rid of
But not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
And if you make a mistake
My heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
And all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo

- The Magnetic Fields, "Absolutely Cuckoo"

So, right now is the inaugural use of my wireless card. And it works. Woot! This will, I'm sure, come in handy eventually. Right now, it's just cool.

Invader Zim watching tonight, lots of work tomorrow. Excitement.

I have my radio show time: Tuesday nights, 10 pm to midnight, Eastern time. Broadcasting starts this week. And now I have my computer with all my music again, which makes me happy.

Time to actually be productive.

I just got back from a run... So nice to run outside. It warmed up enough today that I didn't have to worry about ice too much. Of course, I got careless at the end of the run -- I didn't hit any ice, but I did manage to slightly turn my ankle in a pothole. Nothing too bad -- it feels fine already. Just a hurt pride and grime on my pretty, previously clean shoes. Oh well -- they're just running shoes; I don't wear them for anything but exercise.

The run was very short -- 10 minutes. All my runs are short -- I really don't have that much endurance yet. But at least it was a full-out run, not a slow jog. I've really started to enjoy running a lot this past year. Before, in track, when I had to run, I didn't like it as much. But now, there's something really appealing about it. Part of it is probably that it's no longer mandatory. I don't run every day, I don't even run every week. But when I want to, I can, and I enjoy it. There's something really great about stepping out into the cold air, feeling a chill, and then running until your practically overheated. You run through the aching, the haggard breathing, until you reach a rhythm and the momentum just keeps you going. I don't need to think about anything, I just focus on my feet hitting the ground, my breathe going in and out. It's really wonderful... I'm hoping the weather stays decent so I can keep this up. Running outside, in the evening is great -- running in the afternoon on the indoor track is not so fun.

The Europe trip is a go -- we're ordering our tickets tomorrow. There will be 5 of us -- me, Kyle, Greg, Alex, and Emily. A good group. This should be a lot of fun.

Things that make a bad day better: 1) pizza and 2) a wonderful, caring boyfriend who cheers you up.

Today was bad. I overslept, but luckily made it to class on time anyway. English class was fine, I turned in my RA app and such afterwards, then tried to get some more work done before my next class. I sort of succeeded. Mythology was okay, except for the horrible guilt I feel for being behind. I think that all hope is lost for actually reading the rest of the Iliad at this point. I'll do some serious skimming or *cringe* find a summary somewhere. I will read the last book though. And then I'll start the Odyssey... And I'll be damned if I let myself get as far behind in that. Anyway, so mythology was fine except for the guilt and the inability to participate in discussion. Next was lunch, then doing more work. I'm almost caught up in philosophy. I should be able to finish Fear and Trembling tonight, and then get some of the other stuff done tomorrow before class. I could/should go to yoga, but it's not happening. I want to, but I'm not doing it for credit, and I should spend the time doing work for my real classes. Besides, I'm doing some yoga in acting as it is. Anyway. Back to the rest of my day... Some philosophy reading, a nap, a conference with my English prof about which paper option I'm doing (2 for the semester, one shortish, one longish), more work, then acting. Acting was pretty good -- nothing too intense, thankfully. Though we have to start working on stuff outside of class. She gave us scenes from A Streetcar Named Desire, assigned us roles and partners, and we have to work on them. So that will be taking up a portion of my Saturday. After acting was choir. I think I'm going to have to drop it. By the end of Wednesdays, I'm too dead tired to concentrate. The piece we're doing (Bach's Mass in B Minor) is hard, and it becomes even harder because I'm singing 2nd soprano. The notes are easier to hit, yeah, but so much harder to find with the 1sts overpowering you. As it was, rehearsal felt like torture today. I just wanted to leave and get dinner. By the time we got out, it was too late for me to use my meal credit at Essie Mae's... So I ended up collapsing in Mertz and getting a pizza and a shoulder to cry on.

Tomorrow I'll look into dropping choir -- then Wednesdays will just be long, rather than hellish. Which is most definitely an improvement.

Reading now, then sleep.

A quote from my philosophy reading-- Kierkegaard's Either/Or, the section called "Equilibrium" (written from the point of view of an ethicist to an aesthete) -- that I really like: "But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all."

Tonight rocked so very, very much.

We got into Philly with no problem, grabbed some pizza on South Street, and then stood in line, listening to silly indie kids gab while snuggling up to Kyle to stay warm. This waiting in the cold paid off -- we were within 10 feet of the stage, possibly closer. Then the show itself -- 2 opening bands: Final Fantasy and Man Man. Then The Arcade Fire. The show was phenomenal. Each and every one of the bands kicked ass. Final Fantasy was actually just one guy, Owen, with a violin and a loop peddle. You would not believe the music you can create with just those 2 items. I bought his CD and am listening to it now, and it's very, very good. Man Man was crazy. Part performance art, part rock band. All insanity. I can't even really describe it -- it's definitely something that had to be seen to fully comprehend. Or at least to begin to comprehend -- I don't know if anyone could fully comprehend. And then The Arcade Fire. Oh. My. God. SO GOOD! Amazing music, really great stage presence, etc. Just all around good stuff. Quite possibly the best concert I've attended. The only complaint I have -- indie kids need to learn to dance. Man Man was the most driving, rhythmic thing ever, and almost no one was moving. For shame, hipsters.

Time for sleep now -- There's still work I should do (I chose to hang out after the concert instead of doing my reading, imagine that), but I think I'll sleep first, then get up in the morning and confront it.

Tim Burton is so cool... He's working on a new stop-motion animated film called The Corpse Bride. I've seen the trailer, and it looks interesting. It's apparently inspired by a Russian folktale, which can be read here. Kind of creepy, but interesting. And it has, of course, Johnny Depp as the main character. Leave it to Johnny Depp to be attractive even as a clay figurine.

Not only did Pitchfork review Chromeo's "Needy Girl", but they gave it FIVE STARS. Check it out... This is just so wrong.

My PDA is dying. The battery won't hold a charge at all. I could possibly get a new battery (I've found one for around $30), but I'm not sure if I will. I've been using it less and less... I've been keeping track of my activities in iCal, putting my to-do lists in Stickies, and my contact info in my computer's address book. Everything has been backed up onto my memory card, so I can transfer my lists of movies, music, and books onto my computer when I get my USB device. Still, having it die is kind of sad.

So I'm still behind in my reading, but I've gotten other stuff done, which makes me feel better. I'm also ungodly happy in general. I've had a good weekend, and I think that more good weeks and weekends are in store.

I feel like it's possible that everything is too good to be true, but I find myself believing it anyway, just being happy and not really worrying much. That, for me, is a huge, huge thing. Because I worry a lot, about little stuff, big stuff, silly stuff. But right now, I'm very much "La! Life is good!"... And that rocks.

I'm being productive, but I'm not doing my work... So far I've written thank you notes to my hosts for my externship, worked on filling out stuff for my major application/sophomore paper, worked on my RA application, printed out some reading for mythology, and ordered a USB device for my memory card. All very useful things that I need to get done, but none of them are the reading I need to do. Bah.

I guess it's better than sleeping, at least.

I had a fantastic night... Hung out with Kyle, which was really fun, and went to see Asobi Seksu and The Walkmen... Both were really great.

Today: Catch up with work, do my RA app, and finish WSRN reviews.
Tonight: Go to a birthday party.
Sunday: More work, WSRN meeting.
Monday: Class, The Arcade Fire concert!

The WSRN meeting is tomorrow evening, which means that apps will be due sometime this week or so... So I should know when my show is sometime in the next few weeks, and I'm guessing broadcasting will start around mid-February.

Time for brunch. Yum.

Oh, and They Might Be Giants will be playing here sometime in February, too. So that's pretty cool as well.

Time to get ready for the day.

Olde Club, after having almost no concerts last semester, has proved their merit once more: The Walkmen are playing on Friday night. So I've got The Walkmen on Friday and The Arcade Fire on Monday. Wonderful!

My arms feel better today, but my shin splints have been acting up. Okay, I can deal with that. But then I go to acting, and we do a lot of physical exercises and such, including some jumping. Result? So. Much. PAIN. Owie.

Last night was long, and despite my best efforts, I managed to screw up the plain text version of the Gazette. Bah. After next week, I'm going to try to switch to compiling on Monday nights -- I need to get more sleep on Tuesday nights to be fully functional for my hellish Wednesdays.

The whole grabbing a snack after acting (which gets out at 6:40 pm) and then going to choir and getting dinner after 9 pm worked reasonably well, though my stomach was definitely making funny noises for the last bit of choir.

Time for some Kierkegaard reading... Which, I have discovered, is great fun with a soundtrack of NIN.

I went to the gym and lifted some yesterday. Today I ran a little bit. My body hates me, especially my upper arms. It hurts to put my coat on, which is just sad. But I am proud of getting exercise.

Today was rather blah, with occasional high points and a couple of low points. I'm tired and want to go to bed, but instead I get to write a Gazette article about a less than stellar poetry reading, then compile the entire Gazette. Woot. And tomorrow will be my hell day, with the added joy of me needing to read 100 pages of Kierkegaard sometime before Thursday afternoon. And I'm also behind on my Iliad reading, but I should be able to catch up for Friday. I'll try to deal with my passport on Friday afternoon, I think... We'll see if that works out.

Good news: The Arcade Fire concert is on Monday. That will rock.

Time to work. Oh so much fun shall be had tonight.