I just woke up for the second time today. The first time I got brunch, this time I'm up for good. Sleep is a wonderful thing, and I am quite happy.

So, yesterday and earlier today:

The choir concert was good stuff. It made me want to sing with the group again, which is good, since I've signed up for next semester. I was actually still in the program, which amused me.

The inaugural Soul Calibur II drinking game was a success, though we may have to rethink the rules somewhat. We tried to do it in Science Center 101, but then determined that the cords weren't long enough to work very well... So we moved over to 199, and that worked fantastically. We played from about 11:30 to 1:30, I'd say... Me: 4, Kyle: 6, Rob: 8. Most of those were due to perfects - we've determined the game works that way because we're Swatties. But really, 1 for all of us was due to an honor starting shot, 1 for both Kyle and Rob was due to a double KO, and maybe 1 of Kyle's was because of life-draining weapons. All the rest? Perfects. Rob actually got better for awhile, but around the 5th drink he hit his peak. It was rather amusing. Well, I thought a lot was amusing at that point. We had to quit when a very bemused pair of public safety officers came by. We didn't get in trouble, we were just told to leave. Which we did. We dropped the stuff off at Mertz, then went over to Paces for a little bit. All in all, a fun night.

This morning I got brunch when I initially woke up. It was quite nice, and I got to ooh and eye over Sam's Tiger operating system (the new operating system for Macs)... I felt like a massive geek, but really -- the thing is very well designed and has some awesome features. Getting a Mac has made me more of a computer geek, at least in terms of design, since Apple things are just so nicely done.

After brunch I went back to sleep, and now, finally I have emerged to face the world. No work will be done today, but that was the plan all along -- today is a day for rest and destressing before I start attacking the papers.

A little thing:

Your Birthdate: December 7

Born on the 7th day of month gives you a tendency to be something of a perfectionist and makes you more individualistic in many ways. Your mind is good at deep mental analysis and complicated reasoning. You are very psychic and sensitive, and you should usually follow your hunches. You may not take orders too well, so you may want to work alone or in a situation where you can be the boss. This birthday gives a tendency to be somewhat self-centered and a little stubborn.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

And another one:

American Cities That Best Fit You:

60% New York City

60% Philadelphia

55% Chicago

55% Miami

50% Honolulu

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Ice cream (well, really a smoothie for me and a milkshake for her) with Joy was fantastic. Chatting with Joy is wonderful -- I will miss having her around next year, but I'm glad she'll be having a wonderful time in Paris.

Time for my delayed nap. Mmm... Naps are lovely things.

So, bizarreness that works in my favor: I didn't actually have to hand in my god-awful WA draft today. My WA apparently had to go home for some family thing, and is therefore not here to read my paper. Instead, I have to just take it to the writing center (or in my case, hand it to Emily), and get it dealt with that way. Which means that I can actually write a draft, get it WAed, and then revise it over this next week, and all will be well. And I no longer feel guily about sleeping instead of working, which is always nice.

Joy is coming by to take me out for ice cream, which is awesome. Then I shall nap, get dinner, kill time, go to the choir concert, and then (Mom, you probably don't want to read this...) have the inaugural playing of the Soul Calibur II drinking game.

Classes are over, and life is good.

Last day of class!

This is currently the worst WA draft ever... It doesn't even reach the stage of an outline. It's basically "Here is my thesis, here is my support - in no particular order. Enjoy!" But honestly, I just don't care at this point. I'm going back to bed for another 3 hours or so.

I slept for a bit, and now I'm staring at the computer screen, attempting to outline this paper. I don't even have the energy to do that, it seems. I just want to go back to sleep and not do anything at all. Not turning in a WA draft, however, means an automatic 10% off of my paper grade, which is no good at all. So I must turn in something...

Oh bed, why do you have to look so nice and comfy and inviting?

Headache? Check. Strong desire for sleep? Check. Completed English paper? Check!

It took much longer than I had planned, but it is now done, coming in at roughly 13.5 pages. All I need to do is slap an oh-so-exciting title on it and print it, and I'm good. Well, good for that class, at least...

The plan for the rest of the night: go back to ML, take a brief nap, consume some coffee, and then attack the classics paper. My goals for it are not that high... I plan on starting it off with a note that I had another paper due that received most of my attention as it was a final draft. I will apologize for neglecting this WA draft, and then say that I will try to send her a better draft before the conference. I will then proceed with the "paper," which may end up being little more than a glorified outline. But I will have something, at least.

Another paper update as I figure out how best to transition into the next section...

About halfway through page 11, but a great deal of the 10th page was me adding more clarification... So now I've got a full 13 pages, leaving me with about 3 more pages to revise, which was about the same as an hour ago. It's hard to make progress when I keep on creating more text and push back the stuff I'm trying to edit.

Also, sleepiness kicking in big time... Caffeine may have to be procured somewhere, or I may have to take a quick nap between papers. We'll see.

I am now starting page 10 of the revision, yay. Interestingly, this process has not led to me shortening the paper like I had planned to. I started the process with an 11.5 page paper, and it has actually grown to about 12.75 pages. It's insane. To prove how insane, let me quote from the syllabus about this assignment:

"Your explication will probably be no shorter than five pages, probably no longer than ten..."

Yeah, so I've more than doubled the minimum length, and have gone beyond the suggested maximum. However, I am doing a close reading of a 77-line poem -- this would undoubtedly be a hell of a lot shorter if I was dealing with W.H. Auden's "Now the Leaves are Falling Fast," which is only 20 lines. But hey, at least I'm not trying to explicate the entirety of Eliot's "The Waste Land" or anything...

I think what really gets me about the length of this paper is that it just keeps going, completely unforced. Yes, writing it took effort, since I didn't want to think, but the fact is that this paper is not space-filling b.s. I mean, it's a close reading, so that's kind of a license for making stuff up, but this time it is grounded in my actual analysis of the poem and its subject matter. I'm not going off on weird tangents just to fill up space; I've actually got a good 9 pages of stuff to say about the poem (I've subtracted 1 page for telling the myth of Eros and Psyche, and another 2 for the poem itself, because I end up quoting all of it as I analyze it)... It's kind of weird.

Hopefully I'll this much to say about Ovid... You know, when I actually get to around to THAT paper...

Disturbing news: the little study carrel that I'm sitting at has become my carrel in my mind - I keep on going to the same one. This, to me, is a sign that I need to get done with these papers and get out of here as soon as possible.

Also: the adventurous squirrel actually climbed 3 stories to get to my window - while I think of this floor as the second floor, as it is 1 level above the ground floor, the lower level is not underground on this side of the library. Therefore, 3 stories of climbing.

Almost done with page 8, meaning I'm 2/3rds done with the revision process. Rock.

Nearly done with page 7, which leaves me with about 5 more pages. Joy of joys... It's probably not going to get finished before dinner -- in fact I know it won't get finished before dinner. Still, I've made some decent progress. I'm going to try to finish 7 at least, and then go to dinner to pacify the grumpy stomach and allow my eyes to unglaze themselves before I'm forced to engage in round 2.

I'm thinking my WA draft for the classics paper is going to be pretty sad, with another note to my WA on top, followed by an attempt to make it a better paper before the actual conference. We'll see.

I've been listening to the songs by Marvin the Paranoid Android (and have discovered that two of them at least were actually released on a record), and I have decided that Alan Rickman is the perfect voice for Marvin -- he sounds quite a bit like the vocals on the songs, and those vocals fit the personality of Marvin wonderfully. Man, I want to see the movie...

I was just staring out the window, pondering how to best phrase the transition I'm working on, when I locked eyes with a squirrel that was sitting on the window ledge. It scared the crap out of me, because a) I am easily startled and b) it was completely unexpected. Worthy of note, I think, are the following facts: I am on the 2nd floor of McCabe. There are no tall trees near the window I'm sitting by. Through this reasoning, I am lead to believe that the squirrel must have climbed up the walls of the building, which leads to this question: why?

I think I scared him just as much as he scared me -- he scurried off pretty quickly. I guess he may have been looking for a place to hang out -- the sky is getting very grey and cloudy rather quickly, and he seems to be smart enough to want to get out of the possibly imminent rain. Still, a pretty bizarre encounter with the furry little fellow.

I am now on page 6 of the revision process, which means I'm roughly half-way through, with about an hour and a half until dinner. Grar.

Blarg. Just finishing up page 4 of the revision. I want to get this done before I go to dinner, which gives me another 3 or so hours. Then after dinner I'll deal with the classics paper, which will most likely not be the most stellar WA draft I've ever turned in, but oh well.

I'm fighting a very, very strong urge to curl up and sleep. My adopted desk on McCabe 2nd seems to be losing some of its attention focusing powers - I feel like I could fall asleep in this hard wooden chair. That's never a good sign.

Work time. Really.

A moment of venting in the direction of Worth/Psych Services: Grr to making it hard to get a new Rx written for a medicine that I've been taking for 5 years with no adverse side effects. Grr for requiring regular therapy in order to actually get such an Rx - in my case all signs point to chemical imbalance (family history, great response to meds, etc), and both psychiatrists I've seen over the course of these past 5 years have basically said that I don't need therapy. I understand the need for caution, the desire to evaluate things for yourself, etc... But good grief. My family is moving, I'm not going home for most of the summer, the shrink I was seeing told me to just start getting the Rx through my normal doctor, but I'm between family doctors... I'm stable and I just want to continue my prescription so I stay that way - is that really so much to ask?

However, yay for the doctor who wrote me a Rx for a month to see me through the rest of the semester and give me time to figure out what to do. And yay for the psychiatrist back home who will most likely write me an Rx for 3 months to see me through the rest of the summer and give me time to get a new doctor and see them about this.

I managed to get my toe smashed by a chair at lunch. It hurt like hell, but the pain has now subsided, though it smarts a bit when I bend it. It doesn't look pretty at all - white scrape along the base of the nail, some obvious damage to the nail, perhaps a little blood. My toenails are sparkly pink, so I can't tell if underneath the nail is bruised... However, it's not broken, and it's not too bad, so it's okay. It just hurt like hell for a good 3 minutes or so.

Time to do some serious paper writing now, even if I can't make myself focus.

Among the student groups with negative balances in their accounts that need to be dealt with are the College Republicans (well, if it works for Bush, it must work for us as well...) and the Conscious Consumers. I am amused.

The plan last night was to work, work, work. Then I got distracted by things online, as I often do. But then I resolved to work, work, work. Around 1:30 am I thought sleep would be nice. So I planned to take a nap, wake up around 4 or so. The alarm went off at 4 am. I grumbled, rethought my plan, and set it for 8 am. I slept, and had pretty disturbing dreams that seemed to involve a lot of people dying.

So. I am rested, though still weary, and on page 4 of the 11.5 page revision process. Lesson I have learned: I can't pull an all-nighter or anything close if the paper isn't due the next day. However, as this paper is due tomorrow, along with another paper draft that I need to do, I will be doing my very best to work, work, work today and tonight. Which means that after lunch, I'll probably be holing up in McCabe and working until dinner. Then after dinner I'll either be going back there or coming home, depending on how much work is left. The other day I accomplished a lot while working in McCabe, so hopefully the trend will continue. If I continue to stay focused, I'll try to stay in McCabe as long as needed.

Tonight may be the first (and hopefully only) time I here the closing buzzer at McCabe at 1 am.

It seems that I'm only capable of working intensely for a certain amount of time. That time period seems to be up - I have hit a wall, and I cannot stay focused. It's more than a bit problematic, to say the least.

Now to force out a revised draft of my English paper...

Bad: Realizing that I left Ovid in my room when I left ML this morning -- the only book I really need today... This realization was followed by a dash back to grab it, which ate up most of the between-class time I wanted to spend reading.

Good: Now being done with the reading, and having a general idea of what I'm going to write about.

I'm torn between napping and working on an outline. I know I SHOULD do the outline, but a nap sounds simply fantastic. Either way, in about 2 hours I have acting class, followed by dinner, followed by crazy English paper revising time.

No classes tomorrow, lunch with Joy, paper-writing, and a doctor's appointment. Hopefully that won't take long... The dream scenario would go something like this:
Me: Hi, I'd like a new Zoloft Rx. I've been on it for about 5 years now, there's not much to discuss - just give me the drugs.
Random school doctor: Okay.

Somehow, I doubt that's going to happen. The nurse told me that I could get the Rx for free, but there was of course a catch. I would have to see someone at psych services and then see a school doctor, and I'd basically have to check in with the psych services folks on a regular basis - i.e. low-key therapy. Not very high up on my list of things to add to my regular activities. Even at my worst I didn't go to regular therapy; I feel no desire to start now. Right now, I feel any time spent seeing psych services would probably be better spent napping. Not to suggest that I don't have issues, but I feel like I'm managing fine most of the time. Things come and go, but that's just life.

Enough soul-baring rambling. Time for a nap, I think. I need to fend off the headache I feel settling in my temples.

Spoon is playing at the TLA on June 4. Tickets are $16 plus Ticketmaster fees. Bloc Party is playing at the Trocadero on June 18. Tickets are $12, with perhaps some fees that are not Ticketmaster. Both are highly tempting...

Oh man. And Sleater-Kinney is playing at the Troc too, June 24, $15. I think they might win. Anyone want to go?

The last playlist of the semester:

Gary Jules - Mad World
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt (Quiet)
# Frou Frou - Let Go (off of the Garden State soundtrack)
Final Fantasy - This is the Dream of Win and Regine
The Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)
TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun
Autolux - Turnstile Blues
Yo La Tengo - Sugarcube
Harvey Danger - Woolly Muffler
Spoon - Reservations
Driver of the Year - Black as Soul
Elf Power - Skeleton
A.C. Newman - The Town Halo
* Bloc Party - This Modern Love
That Dog - Ms. Wrong
# Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde (off of the Garden State soundtrack)
Switchblade Symphony - Dirty Dog
Rainer Maria - Automatic
Sahara Hotnights - The Difference Between Love and Hell
Interpol - Obstacle 2
* The Unicorns - I Was Born (A Unicorn)
Beulah - Silver Lining
* Audible - Sky Signal
Fiona Apple - Window
* Iron and Wine - My Lady’s House
#* The Decemberists - The Engine Driver
# The Shins - Caring is Creepy (off of the Garden State soundtrack)
Radiohead - Talk Show Host (at Scrove’s request)
Weezer - Only in Dreams

This was actually followed by 4 or 5 more songs off the rock department playlist (some new Spoon, Audible, and a few others), since the next DJs overslept during their naps and were late.

Robert came to visit me during the show (and scared me half to death by sneaking up on me), which was cool. The rest of the time was spent getting the computer to work and reading Ovid. (only about 50 pages left!)

I am quite tired. I'm debating the pros and cons of taking a nap now, then working, or just drinking coffee and working until I pass out. It's a tough call.

Oh. I've decided to withdraw my application for the rock director position. It's a decent time commitment, and I really don't know what to expect next semester with RA-dom and creative workshop courses. Also, I like free time. It's a good thing. I shouldn't let it get eaten up as much. I think I'd actually have a chance at the position this time, and that makes me think about whether I really want it. And I don't know. I like reviewing, I like DJing, but I don't know if I want to deal with distributers and actually be in charge. Maybe my senior year, we'll see.

Time for work now. I think I'll just focus on Ovid tonight and deal with revising my essay tomorrow. Whee.

I have about 72 pages of Ovid's Metamorphoses to read. Not too bad, but also probably not going to get done tonight...

Now for some British poetry, just to mix things up a bit.

And the pretty crappy draft of the English paper is done, coming in at about 11.5 pages (that's right, I just wrote 2 pages in the last hour -- a much faster rate than usual, therefore showing just how craptacular it is...)

So, left to do tonight:

Edit English paper
Read Ovid
Radio show
Read poetry for English class

I think a break is needed from this. Time for Ovid, I think...

The new to-do list:

Lunch
Existentialism class
Make appointments at Worth
Deal with ML BBQ (partly done)
Write English paper
Edit English paper
Go to poetry reading
Go to dinner
Read Ovid
Radio show
Read poetry for English class

I'm starting in on page 9 of the paper, with 6 stanzas left to deal with, a conclusion, and then massive editing. So, it's getting there. Hopefully the fact that this paper will end up being longer than it's supposed to be will mean that my final paper can be a bit shorter. We'll see.

Work time.

My to-do list for today:

Lunch
Existentialism class
Make appointments at Worth
Deal with ML BBQ (partly done)
Write English paper
Edit English paper
Go to poetry reading
Go to dinner
Read Ovid
Radio show
Read poetry for English class

If time (ha!)
Outline/start writing classics paper
Figure out what I'm writing philosophy paper on, begin reviewing reading
Figure out what I'm writing final English paper on, choose poems to work with
Outline theatre paper

There comes a point when writing up your to-do list just makes you feel worse. That point is definitely here.

Time to write, write, write. And then edit, edit, edit...

My plan for today had been something like this: lunch, class, work on English paper until I can't anymore, then read Ovid until I can't handle another metamorphosis, then go back to English, repeat cycle until dinner, get dinner, then start up cycle again until radio show, do radio show, read poetry for English, then crawl into bed.

Then I remembered 2 things: I really need to make an appointment at Worth so I can get my prescriptions refilled, and there's a poetry reading by the Advanced Poetry Workshop students today.

So now my plan is something like this: lunch, class, go to Worth to make appointment, work, poetry reading, work or dinner (depending on how long the reading goes), work, radio show, work, bed.

I want to get this paper done today, if at all possible. I need to finish reading Ovid so that I can write a paper all Thursday - I have a WA draft due on Friday. Gah!

So I just went to the online course guide, which also lists enrollment limits and how many people have signed up already.

The classes I want to take - Enrollment limit - Number currently signed up

Lyric Encounters - 15 - 20 (Which means my English major status may very well have gotten me in. Rock!)
Playwriting Workshop - 15 - 12
Philosophy of Religion - 35 - 19
Ballet I for PE - 16 - 4 (The performance section, which is the same class, only has 1 person)

And the all important one:
Life Drawing - 12 - 24 (All the begging in the world won't help me much here...)

But! Good news:
Costume Design - 8 - 2

So. Yeah. Looking very much like I'll be doing costume design after all... No 3-day weekend, but also no classes before lunch. Mmm, sleep...

My tentative schedule, then:

Mon:
Lyric Encounters, 1:15-4 pm

Tues:
Philosophy of Religion, 1:15-2:30 pm
Ballet I, 3-4:30 pm

Wed:
Playwriting, 1-4 pm
Choir, 7:15-9:45 pm

Thurs:
Same as Tues

Fri:
Costume Design, 2:15-5:15 pm

Not bad at all. And definitely not as reading-intensive as this semester, though more writing, I'm sure. But creative writing, so that's cool.

I know the lotteries for classes aren't done, so that what's up on the student records site isn't official. HOWEVER... I looked at my transcript, which also has the courses in progress. Everything I want for next semester is there... Except for the life drawing course.

I'm hoping that it will magically appear. Otherwise I may have to beg. Or find another course... But I really wanted to take an art course, and this is the only one that interests me and fits into my schedule. *sigh* It's an 8:30 am course! Do that many people really want to take it?! I could, in theory, take costume design after all (assuming there's any room left), which would give me the benefit of having only afternoon classes, but would also give me a class on Friday (late Friday afternoon, no less...) I guess we'll see.

On the plus side, of course, is the fact that all my other courses showed up. That makes me happy.

Tonight is my last radio show of the semester. If you listen, you will make me happy -- though I guess this only works if I also know you listen...

I usually try not to repeat any songs during the course of the semester (though I accidently played Super Furry Animals' "Valet Parking" 2 weeks in a row)... However, this show will be (almost) all repeats - a sort of "best of the semester" thing, I suppose. It's the first time I have the entire playlist already put together and waiting. The only song I have on it that hasn't already been played is the closer, Weezer's "Only in Dreams" -- it's become a bit of a tradition for me to play it as the last song of the semester.

So if you haven't listened to any of my shows and want to, this will be the one to listen to. All the good songs, none of the crap that I tried for the playlist and regretted. WSRN (see link in sidebar), 10 pm to midnight, eastern time.

Despite the sleep I got last night (at least 6.5 hours... Isn't it sad that I consider that a lot?), I'm still dead on my feet. Today is going to be long, no doubt about that...

On a completely unrelated note: Happy birthday Ben!

Today was pretty disappointing. I think one of the highlights was making a waffle that came out of the machine easily. That's pretty sad, isn't it?

The Dali exhibit was interesting, but really amazingly crowded. I was tired, had the beginnings of a headache, etc... Add being surrounded by people in a smallish room and you have a formula for disaster. Or at least uncomfortableness and a desire to get out of there as soon as possible. Which is what I did. I made it through the exhibit with an hour to spare. I didn't listen to the audio tour, I didn't ponder each painting at length, I didn't do a lot of things. I looked, I appreciated, I moved on. It was a good exhibit, but going to the Dali Universe in London was a much better experience - some really cool pieces there, and it was also almost empty since we went late in the day. Here there were throngs of people around each piece that had an audio bit, so those paintings and anything nearby were hell to look at, because you couldn't get through, and everything just ground to a halt. Arg.

After we got back I went straight to dinner. While talking to people, I learned that my submissions to Small Craft Warnings were apparently never actually submitted. My email may have eaten them - it's happened to one other email as well. So yeah, no published poems for me. Though it also means no rejection, and since they most likely would have been rejected, perhaps it's for the best.

Then the play, Through the Leaves... It was okay. The actors did a nice job, there was some emotion evoked (mainly I wanted the woman to ditch the guy, since he was a massive jerk), but I wasn't very interested.

And now the headache from hell. It's like acupuncture gone wrong - stabbing pains in my forehead and around my eyes, aching in my temples, and just pain in general. Very not good.

Advil for me, and as much reading as I can handle.

So I didn't actually end up going to the Superwolf show after all. After pizza and episodes of Samurai Jack, I was quite happy to just hang out. It was storming outside, and there were 2 opening bands, so we decided to go later. And then when 11 came around, inertia and apathy convinced me that I didn't really want or need to go. Sure, it's good music, but not something I particularly need to see live. So instead Kyle and I hung out with people on his hall, which was fun.

We did go to the Paces party, which was fun. I had my first pre-party experience, and then we all headed over around 12. It was fun -- I had a good time dancing. Kyle left after awhile, because he has to get a lot done today. I stayed for a bit longer, dancing with Rob and Joy, and then Rob and I left. For the first (and most likely last) time ever, I was literally swept off my feet and carried out of the party (And no, it was not because I couldn't walk on my own). So yes -- a fun evening was had.

Curses towards the shuttle, however. I waited at Parrish Circle for about 30 minutes, and it didn't show up. I called public safety, and they told me it was running... For some reason I always lose my nerve when I call them. I always want to demand to know where the shuttle is, why it hasn't been by for a long time, etc. But instead I always end up meekly saying "Okay, thank you" after they tell me it's still running. Grr.

Dali exhibit today, play this evening, work somewhere between them and then after, I hope.

There's a spider scurrying about my ceiling. I don't really want to kill it, as it's not doing any harm, but right now it's over my bed, which is somewhat concerning. I don't want it to decide to drop down and hang out there. So now I keep on looking at it, tracking it, making sure it doesn't go anywhere undesirable. It looks like it's making its way towards my window, which is completely acceptable. Just no spiders in the bed. Really, that's my main request.

Done with page 6 of the English paper, and I still have 10 stanzas to analyze. Whee. At least I've made progress.

Damn it, the spider is heading the other direction now. It may have to be removed -- I want to take a nap, and that's going to be tough with a spider directly overhead and me concerned that it's going to launch itself at me at any moment. And yes, I know that's unlikely, but irrationality often causes difficulty falling asleep.

No swimming for me, but instead a short nap and then pizza for dinner. And it's stopped raining, which is quite good.

Damn it. It's raining now, which really just makes me want to curl up and take a nap, not write my paper or go swimming. Grar. Nearing the end of page 5 of the paper though, yay. I know that sounds really fast and productive, but when you realize that about a fourth of the page is me just quoting a section of the poem before I do the close reading, it's not all that great. Bah.

Gah. Working on English paper. This thing is quite painful. It's being written about one paragraph at a time, because after that my brain shuts down and wanders away. I had thought about everything so much, wrote so many notes and stuff on it, that my brain is done with it. I have nothing else to say. Granted, I still need to actually say the stuff in a coherent, structured from for a grade, but my brain doesn't seem to care about that. Grr. At this point it's about 4 pages long, and that's only the myth it's centered on plus the first 5 stanzas. I have 13 more stanzas that need the close-reading treatment, then a conclusion-type section integrating it all together. And then I have to go back and edit it so it actually sounds good, and isn't just the crap it is now.

And when that's all done, then I get to start working on the 4 other papers that need to get done in the next few weeks. Man, finals are fun...

Matt Sweeney and Bonnie "Prince" Billy concert tonight. Also possibly/probably the play and the Paces party. Possibly swimming this afternoon. Though maybe not, since I'm going to the Dali exhibit and really, really need to get work done today. Gah.

One week of classes left, dear lord.

Went to the student dance concert tonight. One of the modern pieces was really cool, but the rest just didn't make much sense to me. The African piece was neat, and taiko was amazing. Luckily, the dancers that danced in front of the drums for a bit got out of the way quickly -- they didn't need to be there. In fact, they shouldn't have been there. They were just distracting and blocked the view from the awesome drumming.

This is an interesting quiz...

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

15% Yankee

5% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

So despite having actually lived in the Midwest for more than half of my life, the accents generally cancel out, with 'Yankee' coming out a bit ahead. Cool.

Saka is officially coming to Swarthmore next year! Yay!

It's been raining off and on today, and will likely continue to do so for the rest of the weekend. Grr. This sort of weather makes me want to nap, not work. Right now I'm going to do laundry, which is the worst of both worlds - doesn't require much effort but isn't relaxing or resting; productive but not actually work for class. However, it is necessary, therefore it will be done.

Ride the Tide - Saka's here, which is cool, my spec is cool, and I've met various other nice specs. Or pre-frosh, I guess, now that they've been accepted. I also got a henna tattoo on my foot (Deshi had a henna party), which looks pretty cool, though some parts are already starting to go away -- my skin just seems to reject henna; it never lasts very long. Other than that, not much to say. Tomorrow is Friday, and then begins a busy weekend. Whee.

I'm reading The Stranger by Albert Camus for my existentialism course, and all of the sudden The Cure's "Killing an Arab" makes sense to me. Yay for literary references in songs. Or in this case, a literary reference as a song, I guess.

So class didn't happen today - instead I spent most of the day just kind of drifting neutrally. I walked around a decent amount, taking in the campus. I napped on a bench under some trees. Then I ran into Kyle and Emily and went to dinner. Things got better. Being around people helps a lot, even if it's possible that it's just due to distraction.

The rising sophomore housing lottery was tonight. ML filled up before PPR, I'm proud to say. My hall looks pretty good for next year: a decent number of people I know and like, some people that I at least know of, and then a few new faces. Most seem okay or happy about being there - there are two girls who are really less than thrilled that may apply for a room change, but we'll see. I think that this hall has a good possibility of breaking the trend of antisocialness that the basement has had... I think there's a lot of potential for great hall life, and I'm going to try my best to encourage it.

Now to email my new RAees and then do some work to make up for the lackadaisical day.

I stayed up until 5 am for no good reason, and then I decided to let my body sleep as long as it wanted. No alarm, classes be damned. So now I'm up, and I feel much better. Sleep is a very good thing.

Had a psuedo-existential crisis this evening. Went to a poetry reading given by a student than won a grant, realized I'll never be able to write like that, but also felt like writing. I had an hour to kill before my radio show, so I wrote some poetry. I insulted myself and my tendency towards angst in my writing, and then it somehow turned into musing about existentialism, which led to the psuedo-existential crisis.

Existentialism class has taught me that I can, in theory, give my life meaning even if it's not inherent. But that's not very reassuring when you're sitting there and all of the sudden everything loses it's purpose and meaning, and you just kind of go numb, overwhelmed with the fact that nothing really matters. And yet, paradoxically, the numbness hurts. It's painful, it brings tears to the eyes, then it just gives way to sorrow. That's where I'm at now. Sitting here with unexplicable salty tears running down my face, wanting something, but not sure what it is.

The playlist of the radio show I somehow managed to get through:

Enon - UTZ
* Prosaics - Failure
Yo La Tengo - Everyday
Switchblade Symphony - Funnel
#* Isis - In Fiction
Nine Inch Nails - The Day the Whole World Went Away
Fischerspooner - Sweetness
The Beauty Pill - Rideshare
Super Furry Animals - Furryvision
Explosions in the Sky - A Song for Our Fathers
Iron and Wine - Cinder and Smoke
* Spoon - I Turn My Camera On
* The Unicorns - Tuff Luff
* Stars - What I’m Trying to Say
Marvin the Paranoid Android - Reasons to Be Miserable (yes, that Marvin... He has 4 songs, you can find them at http://www.hhgproject.org/index.html, a web encyclopedia of Douglas Adams’ Hitchiker’s Triology)
The Kicks - Mir
* The Evens - Crude Bomb
Ted Leo/Pharmacists - Come Baby Come
* British Sea Power - It Ended on an Oily Stage
* Matt Sweeney and Bonnie “Prince” Billy - Beast for Thee
Guster - Demons
Snow Patrol - How to Be Dead
#* Lunchbox - The Living End (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
Jimmy Eat World - Blister
Hey Mercedes - Frowning of a Lifetime
Braid - First Day Back
The Junior Varsity - Housefire
#* Gratiitude - Drive Away

Not much else to say, because really, it doesn't matter.

My iPod has come, and it is currently filling up with songs. There is much happiness.

Now for work. Grr to work, grr I say.

iTunes, why do you like to pretend that songs are on the same album when they're really not? Or that songs are on different albums when they're really on just one? Silly iTunes, you mess with my "shuffle by album" option by not actually doing it.

Unrelated note: Iron and Wine = good. Some of the best mellow music I've ever heard. Sam Beam, you are a cool folky guy, keep up the fantastic work.

And now back to Simone de Beauvoir.

Just got done with the housing lottery for rising juniors. Not sure how long the wait-list is, probably decent size. I've discovered that the lottery is just as stressful on the other side of the table, especially when you're the only RA for that dorm there. Eep. It was fine until the very end, when ML was the only place left with singles.

In general, my hall looks good so far. It's also still half-empty, and who knows who will end up in there. But my half of the basement is almost full, and with the exception of 2 people who I don't know, they're all cool folks. So that's good.

Now time for some more work, whee...

I've pre-registered for my fall classes. Hopefully I'll actually get all of them. *crosses fingers*

So, it looks like I'm going to be spending a decent amount of time in Mertz next year, since about half my friends will be living there. Woot.

As a candidate for the latest idiotic women's fashion idea, I present the thongboy, also known as a thong back boy leg panty. Basically, boy shorts that are also a thong. An idiotic idea because it rids the thong of it's only useful purpose, which is to get rid of panty lines. So. Panty lines and a constant wedgie - the worst of both worlds. Nice work, lingerie designers.

Went out to dinner with my family again, as well as friends of my brothers. It was nice, and I got some Ben and Jerry's afterwards. Cherry Garcia is good.

Blarg. I desperately want to sleep. I got lots of sleep last night, so I'm not really physically tired, but I just feel draggy and just want to curl up and do nothing.

My family is in Philly right now. We went out to dinner with Kyle's family last night, and will be going out to dinner with a friend of Tim's tonight, then just doing a family thing for my mom's birthday tomorrow. Yay non-Sharples food!

I was going to "sell" my MP3 player to my mom, but in the process of loading music onto it and showing her how to use the software and such, it decided to have a hardware problem. This problem is apparently unfixable without sending it back to Creative. So yeah, so much for that. I guess I have a nice paperweight now...

And I also ordered my iPod today, and am now anxiously awaiting it's arrival.

Now, however, it is time to do some more work. Whee...

So, the summer housing lottery? Horrible. I did end up with a single in the basement though, so that's good. Marci, it's actually your room... But it was marked as a senior room on the plan (meaning not available until May 31st)... So, um... You're not staying until then, are you?

Various other people I know are scattered throughout the building, including John and Maarten in my room and Ken and Alex in one of the barn doubles. It'll be an interesting summer, I think. We will see.

Time to get some stuff done, then to sleep!

When mistaken weather forecasts are good things: when the forecast says the high is 60 and it will be partly cloudy, but it's actually 65 and sunny.

I'm taking my laptop outside, where I will hopefully be able to see the screen anyway. If not, I will start my paper the old-fashioned way and go pen and paper. Must. Enjoy. Weather.

I just had my best philosophy class ever. I had understood the reading, so I understood the class discussion. Not only that, but I participated, got the connections she made to other things, even related it back to something else we had discussed last month. I felt on the ball and it was an utterly fantastic feeling. *basks in happy glow of comprehension*

Now to write an English paper that I really should have written awhile ago. Not an overly appealing task, but it'll be okay.

Victory is mine - I resolved the memory issue (it involved going into Rescue mode and cleaning up files), and wiped everything from the MP3 player, returning it back to a clean slate.

So. Anyone interested in buying a 40 GB MP3 player?

I'm reading Simone de Beauvoir's The Ethics of Ambiguity right now. I'm not very far, but I'm actually understanding it. Part of it may be that she's currently rehashing Sartre, which we've already discussed in class. Part of it is also that she seems to use simpler language, which I am eternally grateful for. But I'm getting it, writing parts of it in my own words in the margins, etc... And it feels really nice to comprehend it, to not just have to stop and blink at the page and start over again.

I think I inadvertently became a feature on a tour today... I was napping in my nook in the science center and I kind of woke up for a bit, and I think there were people walking buy looking at me, kind of shaking their heads laughingly at the crazy sleep-deprived college kid. And then I woke up again later to Jawaad writing "Sweet dreams" on the chalk board over my head. But a nice nap altogether. Yay naps.

So. After realizing I'm really going to want lots of music to listen to during my library shifts this summer (yes, it's allowed, even encouraged), I decided to see if my MP3 player would get along with my iBook. I hadn't tried before -- the MP3 player itself seems to have a glitch that doesn't let it fill up as much as it should, and it only uses MP3s, so I can't easily take stuff from iTunes and put it on there (since iTunes uses AAC or whatever). So yeah. I hadn't tried it before. But I did just now. And it's not happening. And then I look online. It requires Windows. Rar.

So. It's looking like I'll be trying to sell this, probably for a decent amount less than I bought if for, because of the glitch. And then I think I may look into getting an iPod. Mmm, iPod...

Reading now, really.

Another Tuesday, another radio show:

Cat Power - I Don’t Blame You
* Black Mountain - Don’t Run Our Hearts Around
The Holy Ghost - Seein’ is Believin’
The Flaming Lips - It’s Summertime (Flaming Orange Pallbearers)
* Bloc Party - Like Eating Glass
#* Boycrazy - Bad Things (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
The New Pornographers - It’s Only Divine Right
* Mob Stereo - Privileged Position
Her Space Holiday - Tech Romance
Elastica - Nothing Stays the Same
* LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge
* Radar Bros. - Show Yourself
That Dog - Side Part
* Enon - Drowning Appointments
Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground
Switchblade Symphony - Dirty Dog
Placebo - Every You Every Me
Asobi Seksu - Sooner
* AK-Momo - Return to N.Y.
* Styrofoam - Your Eyes Only
Sunny Day Real Estate - Every Shining Time You Arrive
* Yo La Tengo - Big Day Coming
The Walkmen - Wake Up
#* Gratitude - All in a Row
Ted Leo/Pharmacists - Treble in Trouble
* You Me & Iowa - Bigger Than Boston
* British Sea Power - Please Stand Up
Interpol - Obstacle 1
* The Ponys - Glass Conversation

The AK-Momo song wasn't very good... I won't be playing anything off of that album.

Not much else to say. I remembered to go to the admissions office and withdraw my application for that job, so no interview for me tomorrow. Woohoo.

Time to read some poetry and then go to sleep. Yay sleep.

I officially have a summer job. I am very pleased and very, very relieved. I'll be starting work at McCabe Library on May 16th, and then working Mon-Fri, 9:30 am to 4:30 pm until August 5th or so. It should be fun... Okay, some portions of it will be mind-numbing, I'm sure, but I'm getting paid $7.81 per hour and don't have a strict dress code, and also don't have to work nights or weekends, so I'm not about to complain.

This means I will not be in Quincy over the summer. I may take off a week or so in the middle of the summer, but it will probably be after my parents move into the new house, so I'll be going there. Sorry guys... You'll just have to come out to Philadelphia if you really want to see me.

*does happy "I'm gainfully employed" dance*

So that didn't require much twiddling. Just got an email back -- I'm meeting with them at 3:30 pm. Commence with the butterflies... I don't know if this really counts as a job interview, but still... Why did I have to wear the jeans with the massive hole in the knee today?

Another email just came, reminding me to bring my housing form if I need them to fill it out. Which I do. Which also indicates to me that they are actually hiring me. Which is cool and a massive relief.

*happy dance*

My large amounts of sleep enabled me to get up to campus during my advisor's office hours. I didn't actually have any questions really, it was more like "Here's what I want to take, do you think Lyric Encounters will be lotteried? No, that's good. Okay, well, thanks then." None of my advising meetings have involved actual advising, it seems... Mostly because I have everything figured out before I ever get there. Yay preplanning.

My sleep did not, however, prevent me from falling asleep in philosophy class. Not sure why I dozed off, but I just did. Must remember to consume caffeine on Thursday before class. Maybe that will help. We'll see.

I got an email from the library... They want me to come in today or tomorrow, talk about the work involved, etc. So it looks like I most likely have a job, which is cool. Woot. Hopefully I'll get to talk to them today, secure the job, and get out of actually doing the interview for the admissions job, since I'd rather work in the library anyway.

I will now sit and twiddle my thumbs until the library emails me back. *twiddle*

I went to bed at 10:30 last night, just because. And I just got up now. It's wonderful.

I ran, and it was good.

The route: out the back door of ML, up the driveway. Take a right, go down Harvard Avenue to Morgan Circle. Take another right, run that loop, run up through a little path to another street, take that to Chester Road. Take a left on Chester, and run. Run past Yale Avenue, where I usually turn. Run past Harvard Avenue, keep on running until I hit the train station. Run down the stairs through the tunnel, up the stairs, onto campus. Run up Magill Walk until I hit the first set of stairs. Stop.

Let lungs fill up with air, return heart to normal rate, let sweat dry. Walk up rest of Magill Walk, go into Parrish for water, look at the block results. Discover that there are a lot of blocks that weren't taken - many in Pitt, maybe even some of the Lodges? Bizarre. Walk a bit more, then head out.

Start running again. Barrel down the hill past Sharples. Run through the tunnel (different one than before), run past the fieldhouse. Run past the soccer field, past the playground. Take a right onto Harvard. Run down the street, run through the Deadly Crossroads (aka the intersection of Harvard and Yale). Stop.

Milage? Unknown. Not even sure how long I ran time-wise. But it was longer and further than I normally run, so that's cool.

For some reason, I decided to see what Ann Coulter has been writing lately -- I think it was reading a parody of an inane journalist that reminded me of her. But I actually read two of her columns, and I must say, my brain is most unhappy with me. It took a little more than 2,000 words to fully enrage me -- probably much less than that, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say it took both columns to do the job. Her ideas are, of course, immensely frustrating. The terms she uses are occasionally beyond belief... For instance, the "ban on girl priests"... Girl priests. Girl. Not female, not women. Girls. I didn't realize anyone was discussing whether 12-year old girls should be allowed to be priests. 30-year old women, sure. But last time I checked, most people didn't refer to them as "girls." Though I suppose she could have said "gal priests" and made me that much angrier even faster.

Perhaps my biggest problem is that she really can't write that well. "Come Back, Liberals!" was perhaps one of the most painful things I've read in a long time. It's vaguely stream-of-consciousness, or maybe more like an outline, as it seems to be only loosely connected to any main idea and has many 1 and 2 sentence "paragraphs"... You could maybe take this and make some structurally decent if you really tried, but it's probably not worth it. How is it that this woman has one book, let alone four? How is it that people actually read these books? Or maybe they don't read them, maybe they just buy them for the pictures of her that appear on three of the books' covers? How is it that people read this stuff for more than amusement and raising their heart rate? How are they best-sellers?!

*deep breath* Okay. One final note before I go find something suitably intelligent to wipe this from my mind. Her new book is entitled How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter. I feel like it should be something like How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Have a Death Wish) or How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Want to Showcase Your Ignorance). And really, posing in front of a chalkboard, as if she were here to teach us? And here to teach us while wearing what looks to be a black leather vest, no less.

Okay, off for some mind-cleansing.

The life drawing session was cool... I think it'll be fun to do a life-drawing class. I don't feel like I'm great at it, but I'll get better, I think.

Screw was fun... I enjoyed watching people be silly. I also saw one guy get stood up, which was really sad. Saka, Bizzy and I ran into each other and chatted for a bit. The Vertigo-go show was enjoyable, but not their best. The dance was fun, even though I didn't stay all that long. It's nice having friends who dance and don't really care how they look dancing. Makes it much easier to look silly yourself.

Oh. The pretty pretty outfit I wore -- corset-y top, black skirt, heels -- was indeed pretty. But the corset shirt did not pass the basic requirement of being mostly comfortable... I couldn't really bend over or sit down normally, and while dancing the wires that gave it its shape decided that jabbing into me would be fun. So when I took it off, there were red marks around my ribs. Owie.

Now time for a shower and work. It's a beautiful day out, so I think I'll be doing my reading outside and possibly getting a bit tan.

Further proof that I'm just too emo to always agree with Pitchfork: They gave Rainer Maria's Long Knives Drawn a 4.4, and I think it's a really good album.

Started out good
Started out bad
I still wanted a taste
Of what I already had

The fruit is golden
When it falls from the tree
And it's spoiled by the time it gets to me

It's a dilemma
Of girls and boys for centuries
Should I be with you?
Should I forget about me?

First it feels right
Then you stay up all night worrying
It's the awful truth of loving

Could've been noble
But it started out fast
They say that kind of thing
Will never last

The peach is perfect
When it falls from the tree
And bruised by the time it gets to me

It's a dilemma
Of boys and girls for centuries
Do I really know you?
Do you really need me?

First it feels right
Then you write a novel worrying
About the awful truth of loving

And by the time
You bide your time
A year goes by
And you don't act any older

And by the time
You bide your time
A year goes by
And you don't act any older

And when the stakes are high
I'm careless with the dice
And now it seems like
I'm pushing my luck all the time


-- Lyrics from "The Awful Truth of Loving" by Rainer Maria

It's possible that the entity known as Kitlay to some is no more. I'm not sure -- it's kind of unclear. But if it's true, well... Weirdness.

In other news, not much. I should be doing work right now, but I'm not. At least I'm doing laundry... That counts as productive.

I mentioned the life drawing session to Siyuan, since I knew she went last time. She has convinced me to go. So charcoal and naked person, here I come.

So today was good. Lunch with Joy, nap, dinner, walking in the Crum (the mud tried to eat my flip-flops; next time I will be more prepared, perhaps), Kill Bill 2, hanging out, Soul Calibur II.

Tomorrow is Screw, and of course work. There's an open life drawing session tomorrow afternoon that I'm considering going to... It would be cool, but I should also probably spend that time doing actual work, or laundry or something. We'll see.

Now, to get more sleep. Because sleep is good.

I had lunch with Joy today, and it was wonderful. Lunch with friend + kitten + Cherry Garcia = happy Jen. I'm also a sleepy Jen, though, so now it is time for me to curl up for a nap.

Oh. Almost forgot. The library is not evil, just silly. They're holding a meeting next week to figure out how many people they need this summer, who they're going to hire, etc. The librarian I talked to today wasn't even aware that the summer housing lottery was Thursday, or that having a job or not decided when you got to pick your room. The meeting is scheduled for Thursday, but she said that she would try to get it rescheduled for earlier in the week because of the housing lottery. So I may have a job there yet. I also turned in my admissions job application anyway, and have the interview for that on Wednesday -- before I know about the library job, no doubt. So we shall see what happens.

And now, to nap!

The admissions office is sneaky. I signed up to be a host for prospective students last semester, and I hosted 2 or 3 specs. Then they never called me. Now I have an email reminding me that I have to host for Ride the Tide as well, since I'm a registered host. Ah well. I've got plenty of room, so it's not really a problem. Just unexpected, because I had forgotten it was part of the agreement.

Done watching Scarface... I was not overly impressed. I've revised portions of my paper, but I have to finish it up. So that is what I shall do now.

Yay for Robert! I was stressed and upset, so I left my stuff in Cornell and went for a walk. I knew Kyle was in seminar, so I couldn't talk to him. I tried calling home, but I got the answering machine. So I wandered into the science center and went by Paley's lab just in case... And Robert was in there, working on the computer. I went in, and he calmed me down, and told me it would be okay. If I didn't get the library or the admissions job, I could see if there was anything else available on campus. And if there wasn't, he said he could help me look for jobs in bookstores and music stores in the surrounding area, perhaps in Philly. And that made me feel a lot better. And Kyle also suggested that I could see if the area library had positions available, even if they were just on a volunteer basis. After all, an unpaid internship and volunteer work? Pretty similar.

So I feel better now, and I'm going to go by the library tomorrow and see if I can get an answer out of someone. Now I'm going to watch Scarface while revising my classics paper... (by hand, unfortunately, as I need the computer to watch the movie) And then later tonight I need to read for English, and then go to bed and sleep.

All of the sudden a massive headache has appeared out of nowhere. My paper is staring at me, needing to be revised, and I just don't want to do it. *sigh* I'm tired of work, but right now I don't want the summer to come, because I don't really know what I'm doing yet. That lack of set plans is making me worried and panicky and upset. I have this fear that I won't actually DO anything this summer, and that makes me very unhappy. I slacked off last summer. I don't want to do that this year. The idea of jobs and such is creeping up on me, and I want to add to my resume so I can get a decent internship next summer... And right now, the chance of doing that this summer is completely up in the air. I expressed interest in the summer library work early, I turned in my app weeks ago, and they haven't said a damn thing to me about it. It pisses me off -- I want to know so I can plan for something else if I need to. Don't they know they're dealing with half-crazed, stressed, overachieving Swatties?

*whimper* I can't work on this paper right now. I need to go for a walk or something, try to figure things out. *sigh*

Second day in a row that I've warn a skirt. This trend will end tomorrow, no doubt, when it gets a bit cooler again.

Finished the latest puzzle in Cornell just a few minutes ago. Now there is no distraction from my work. Damn.

No word from the library yet, which is making me grumpy. Maybe they're not hiring me but don't want to actually tell me? Either way, I picked up an application for a summer job at admissions... Problem is there are only 3 spots available, and I don't have tour guide experience. There, things are not in my favor. Maybe I can pull off a spectacular interview and convince them otherwise. Or maybe they'll let me know about the library before my interview and I'll be off the hook. Or maybe I need to go to the library and demand information. I emailed them, but that doesn't seem to have done anything.

And if they both fall through? Stay here, I guess, look for random summer job at Borders or something... Maybe go home after we move into the new house, get to help redecorate and such. I don't know. I really just want the library thing to work -- it'll make everything so much easier.

Time to actually do work -- I have a classics paper to revise, whee.

The joy of a decently written WA draft: an easy revision process. Mmm... So nice.

First off, today? So beautiful. Days like this make me happy to be here even when I'm stressed and busy... The campus is just too, too pretty. I had acting in the amphitheater -- we sat around and read Othello out loud, and it was nice. I actually got some sun, so I am not as ridiculously pale as I was this morning, when the sight of my legs was a bit blinding.

Still no word from the library. Grr... I'm going to go to the admissions office tomorrow and pick up an application for that, I think. Just in case... *worries*

Alright, time to revise my philosophy paper.

I would just like to say that TV on the Radio's Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes is an amazing album, and "Staring at the Sun' is a simply fantastic song.

Now back to work.

My body has taken matters into it's own hands, it seems. Despite setting my alarm for 7:15 am, I just woke up recently. I was going to skip classics anyway, though I had been planning on going to English. However, I will gladly take this as a sign and go back to bed for awhile...

Let's start off with a little blasphemy, shall we? Blaspha-me, blaspha-you, blaspha-everybody! (Ah, Eddie Izzard...)

If I were God over LiveJournal... by shinikami
Username
Jesus would be	queyla
The four archangels would be	sinsofthedove
and	etoanshirdlu
and	aridice
and	wkndnmnaco
The Blessed Virgin would be	aleaders
Satan would be	stillsputtering
The antichrist would be	pekkiou
And YOU would be	Dead
Quiz created with MemeGen!

So I'm God, but I'm also dead. Nietzsche and Trent Reznor would approve. And I, despite my deadness, would be dating Satan. And the Virgin Mary and Jesus would be dating... And Maki, Maki of all people, would be the Antichrist. The Satan/Sin/Death triad of Paradise Lost has nothing on this.

On to more normal things... Like my radio show playlist. Very mellow tonight, as I'm not doing all that well. I need like a day to just sleep. I also need my work to magically disappear. Neither is happening any time soon.

Belle and Sebastian - I’m a Cuckoo
Wilco - How to Fight Loneliness
The Shins - Turn a Square
The Decemberists - The Tain
* Iron and Wine - Evening on the Ground (Lilith’s Song)
* American Analog Set - Play Hurt
#* Tullycraft - Sad, Sad Day (off of A House Full of Friends comp)
That Dog - Holidays
* Laura Veirs - Ether Sings
Ani DiFranco - Up Up Up Up Up Up
Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
Tori Amos - Caught a Lite Sneeze
* British Sea Power - Be Gone
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Badly Drawn Boy - Born Again
Elliot Smith - Ballad of Big Nothing
Final Fantasy - An Arrow in the Side of Final Fantasy
Sufjan Stevens - Romulus
* Radar Bros. - Is That Blood
Mojave 3 - Prayer for the Paranoid
#* Nick Drake - One of These Things First (off the Garden State soundtrack)
Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) (off the Kill Bill, Vol. 1 soundtrack)
#* Marianne Faithfull - The Mystery of Love
#* Ben Lee - Ache for You
Poe - Amazed
#* Remy Zero - Fair (off the Garden State soundtrack)

Very few playlist songs, but whatever. It was nice.

Sleep eventually, possibly some reading now...

Interestingly, when I write on Sartre, my language becomes almost as convoluted as his. Maybe it's some weird innate feature of philosophy? Or at least of his philosophy?

"One key point in the section entitled “Possibility” is the notion that the possibilities available to a person are dependent upon that person to sustain them. The possibilities that I am considering become my possibilities, and they have no existence outside of my conciousness. To mantain one of my possibilities, it is neccessary to maintain a self or essence that in turn maintains the possibility, that continually recreates the possibility as my possibility."

That is my opening of my 1 page response paper that I'm working on, and it's likely to just go downhill from here...

Of course I haven't finished the Sartre reading yet -- I've been letting myself get distracted. I always do.

One thing that distracted me was filling out the application for the rock director position at WSRN. Yep, I'm going to try for it again. We'll see what comes of it. I know that it's a bit of a time commitment, and that being an RA will eat up some time, and that this semester was busy already... But I think next semester will be better. For starters, I'll have 3 hours more outside of class (acting is 6 hours of class per week rather than the normal 3)... Also, I should have less reading. Philosophy of Religion will be a hefty chunk of reading, no doubt, and Lyric Encounters will have some, as will Playwriting, no doubt. But it should be less than this semester, and it will be different stuff. Also, I'll have art to break it up, which will be nice. And Fridays will stretch out gloriously before me, with no classes to mar their beauty.

This is all if I get the classes I want, of course. Lyric Encounters may get lotteried, and I'm betting Life Drawing may too. Playwriting will be okay, I think, and Philosophy of Religion should be fine. But hopefully through crossed fingers (and puppy dog faces and earnest begging if need be) I'll get everything I want. We'll see.

Now for reading, really.

So. My parents bought a house. It's in Innsbrook, about 45 minutes outside of St. Louis. This, as you have probably already figured out, means that my family will be moving. It's kind of weird, but the house is really cool, so that's nice. But it does mean that I've probably spent my last break in Quincy ever. I may be back to help move stuff, and maybe try to stop by other times, but... By and large, Quincy has officially been consigned to the past.

It's kind of been happening already. I think the last break I referred to going back to Swat as going home, actually. Of course, in two more years that will change too, but I don't really want to think about that yet. The idea of being grown up is kind of weird. Wait, more than kind of weird... It's very weird and a bit scary. I like some aspects of being older, but the notion of a job/career and heading out on my own and all of that is just... intimidating, I guess.

But now is not the time to dwell on that. I'm tired, and I have more Sartre to read before I can let myself go to sleep.

Pasta bar and puzzles are turning out to be my weaknesses. They could be my downfall. (Not really sure how, but I suppose it could happen...)

What's more likely to be my downfall is my desire to slack off. Of course, it won't actually be my downfall -- as Emily said last week, the work always gets done. (This of course does not apply to things like reading, but it does hold true for papers and such)

A slightly better week ahead of me, with Screw to look forward to. Still, the rest of this month is going to be pretty busy. And then classes will be over, and I'll have final papers to look forward to. Woot.

After wavering back and forth due to the yucky weather, I decided to stick with the original plan and go to the formal. I'm glad I did -- it was a lot of fun. I got to hang out and chat with people, drink champagne, and had a generally fun time. It was only from 9-11, so I also had time to do other things as well. All in all, an excellent evening.

Tomorrow -- work, of course. Curse daylight savings and the loss of an hour. That's one more hour I could have spent working (or more likely, sleeping or slacking off...) Bah. On the plus side, of course, is the fact that it will stay light longer, which is always nice.

Some reading for me, I think, then to sleep.

My pretty outfit (rose corset top, black skirt, heels) may have to wait until Screw next weekend to be worn. Damn you rain, and damn you shoes for being inappropriate to wear in the rain. I will have to find a substitute outfit that I can wear with my knee-high boots, because those are okay in the rain.

God, I feel like such a girly girl right now...

Time to head up to campus for my WA conference. Whee...

It's rainy and grey. Blarg.

My entire family (plus 1) is going to be here during family weekend. Originally, my parents were coming. Then one of my brothers and his girlfriend decided to come. Now the other brother is coming as well. It should be fun.

The weekend after that is Ride the Tide, which Saka will be at.

Yay for people!

I saw the student production of 12th Night last night... It was fantastic. I enjoyed it immensely. People were very well cast, most of the acting was quite good, and the costumes were beautiful. Any Swatties who weren't already planning on going -- go.

Also finally got around to watching Kill Bill, Vol. 1 last night. I will eventually watch the second one as well, and then feel caught up on some pop culture. The lack of realness in regards to much of the violence was amusing. Really, do human bodies even contain that much blood?

Tonight: possibly the Grapevine/Sticks and Stones concert, possibly the jazz ensemble concert. Not sure which is going to win out. Then, hopefully the WRC's women-only formal party. Getting dressed up, eating chocolate-covered strawberries, and having girly drinks? Totally my idea of a fun night, especially if I convince more people to come with me. And I've been needing a reason to break out the pretty rose corset-style top, and this is exactly the type of occasion to do it.

Now: shower, food, work. The coming week shouldn't be as bad as last, but I still shouldn't slack off too much this weekend.

Congrats to my mom for pulling a very successful April Fool's joke on me. I thought maybe my parents had gone crazy when she told me they had decided to try to buy this house, but I never suspected it was a joke.

Alright, it's a gorgeous day outside, but I'm not going to make use of it. Instead, I'm going to take a nap, because I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. But yay for having my windows open and having nice breezes come in.

Victory is mine! And so will another 2 hours of sleep or so. Woot!

Took an hour nap, am now done with page 3 and moving into my last major point. There's a chance I'll be able to squeeze in another nap, but right now my goal is to get this done with, make it through class and lunch, and then come back home to collapse.

Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl Which isn't a bad thing at all You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions. You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Girly girl? I'm not sure if I'd go that far...

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 40% of the population. You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are 45% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Mostly? Hmm... Only if strangers are around. And even then...

Alright, enough of this. Time to get back to work... 1 page fully written, the rest outlined. Motivation has gone somewhere far, far away, and it seems like it's going to stay there. This is a painful process without it.